Today, Friday, was a down day emotionally. I say that but it wasn’t a bad day by any means. Everything that happened was highly pleasant. I think it is a scientific mixture of my body not being physically capable of making enough endorphins to sustain my bliss, and some spiritual attacks. Anxiety and codependency, two of my main issues of bondage, are trying desperately to creep into my life. Throw in an (un)healthy portion of pride and we’ve got an incredibly serious spiritual battle. It seems I may be giving Satan some footing in those areas and could use oodles of prayer (and wouldn’t mind encouragement and verses that you all find apropos). THANK YOU!! GOD BLESS YOU!!
Today, Friday the 13th, we all slept in. Nonna, Elena Borisovna, and I all planned on going at 11 to the MegaMart thingy (which is really just a mall). But at 10:47 Nonna knocked on my door to find me asleep and I apologized until I realized she too was in her pjs and she said we’re going later because we all slept in.  haha. So we got ready, ate breakfast, and left. At the mall we met up with Elena Borisovna’s old classmate who we call tyotya…. Something…. I don’t remember. So we went shopping. It was fun and I got to eat Subway at the food court and I ended up buying a shirt for 250 rubles (about 7 dollars). Almost Everything was on a good sale, and this apparently is an even that happens 2 times a year. We had fun and did some “family” bonding. The mall is way on the other side of town, and in the opposite direction of the rehab office. They told me I could catch the bus to the metro and head out whenever I wanted. Then I prayed about when to leave and God seemed to be saying I’d get there at 7, and I asked if I could get there at 6 and He said sure… then leave at 4:30. It was 4:45 at the time. It is cute when God says stuff like that to me. So I waited until 5 and departed. I got there at like 6:30. God really knows his public transport timetables (and everything else ever! : ) ). I got there and it was just Seryozha and he said he’d wait another 30 minutes to see if we’d get anymore intakes. We talked and he gave me directions to the church he used to go to and really highly recommends. He said maybe I’d find my family there… I felt like saying little do you know I already have!! But I have already told him that I was always (Lord willing) gonna go to Sunday nights and told him about God waking me up and having me read what we read on Sunday (I said it in crap Russian so only God knows if he understood, the poor guy…). He said I could go there on at 1 and also go to our thing on Sunday at 5. This Sunday from 12 to 5 is the thingy Nastya wants me to go to about how to study here more permanently and how t work here. I really wanna do all three, so we will see if God can work all of that out for me (PLEASE LORD!!!). I guess by the time I post this, you will already know the conclusion to what at this time is a cliffhanger to me… and of course, God already knows too. So after talking about that church and about the guy who is prematurely leaving rehab and how we need to pray for him and how I Am Legend has a beautiful biblical allegory (…okay so it was mostly him talking… although right before he went into the allegory bit I tried to explain to him how I love zombies… then I totally felt a fool when he discussed the movie’s spiritual merits… haha, I probably seem so base). No one came so we discussed something I didn’t quite understand and I left. …in slight confusion and the heavy feeling of guilt. I wasn’t quite sure what I was guilty of, but man I sure was guilty. I now feel that that was spiritual warfare, working my guilt gene and weaving in Anxiety and a few other sins. It was really quite impressive work and while I was dying to call Caroline or someone about it, after calling Paige for a bit I eventually surrendered at least the bulk of it to God and realized the spiritual warfare aspect of it. Seriously, demons are all the frick over the place. It feels so rare that I get respite from their presence. I guess there is a time and a season for everything, and praise the Lord I get to look forward to another season of spiritual Rest someday. At least I’ve got buckets of joy, even if peace is occasionally being crushed by anxiety. I came home exactly when Nonna and Elena Borisovna were coming home (cool, Jesus), and then went to my room and spent buckets of time trying to figure out anyway to call or contact home using any sim card ever or praying for miraculous wifi, and even trying to hack local wifi networks, and then emailing papi and caroline on my phone forever. Yeah. So I should have gone to God. Eventually after eating with the fam and more futile efforts, I did another beth moore lesson and am now writing you guys. I feel some serious anxiety now… it seems to be welling up from somewhere, so in a sec I need to go surrender it….




Okay kiddos... I am at school and I didn't finish writing this blog.... so you might have to wait for Saturday, and Sunday and today.... sOrry. But at least you are getting something.