A Pilgrim and Her Way

A much belated update

2010-06-29T05:02:00.003-05:00

Hiya. Thank you all so much for your prayers! They are much needed! I am feeling better, but and not back to full strength. I can hear out of both ears!!! That is a HUGE victory in my book. I still have a smoker's cough and laugh from my congestion. That may be because for the last several days I have been a little hectic and gotten like only 6 hours of sleep and accidentally skipping meals, so basically blatantly defying Jessie's advice. But other than that I have been trying to take care of myself and did get some good sleep last night.

The insurance issue still isn't sorted. It would cost 900 pounds to put me on the insurance plan this year. We haven't got that kind of money. So I need to look around and see if there is another option. So, please, keep praying about this situation. I'd like a miracle here.

So, we have a few potential ladies who want to move in the house. One is older and from Newport the other is homeless and we haven't met her yet. The one from Newport really seems like she is keen on moving here soon, so please pray that she would be able to. She needs to sort out some issues with her previous living situation before she can move in, so please pray that God intercedes there and has it all just be taken care of swiftly. This woman could really use a lot of prayer, so pray for her safety and her peace and self-control and whatnot.

The other lady I may have the opportunity to meet on Friday. So be praying for that meeting. From what I have heard she is very introverted and withdrawn, so be praying that God would help me to find out a passion of hers and be able to ask her about it. I really feel like that is a beautiful way to help get someone out of their shell and to help built trust. So yeah, she seems to be in a dire situation too. I believe she may be homeless. So be praying for her and her situation.

Let's see. Other than than I have started going to Rhiwbina Baptist Church. It is really far away and kind of a hassle to get there, but the people there seem to be very giving in that I have gotten rides to and from there ever since the first time I went and arrived 30 minutes late because I missed the bus. After church on Sunday some lovely girls invited me to go on a picnic with them and I did. They seemed really nice and really interesting. One of them did like an internship or something with Jackie Pullinger, which I just think is WAY awesome.

Last Thursday I went to Swansea again. Didn't find Libby but got some good praying in, listened to several sermons on my iPod, started writing in the journal I bought for her, and got to have lunch with John Derek Rees. After I came home from that Jess really wanted to go to bingo, so I went with her to that. It was fun bonding with her, but bingo is a serious drag. It is just some dude quickly saying numbers in monotone and you looking for them, and if you talk you get shushed. Not my idea of a fun night out of the house.

Friday, of course was Jamie's wedding. It was beautiful! Then a bunch of the girls hung out at the bay to chill out after all of the wedding prep and tear down stuff. It was really fun and Becky and Kerrie got feisty and stated daring one another to be obnoxious, which was fun to watch.

Saturday Kerrie, Rachel, Jess, Mel, Leona, and I all went to the beach. That was fun. Leona gets really excited about the beach. So does Jess.

Jess and I are going to maybe get more into cooking and cook something a little more extreme or complicated once a week or so. I think it will be fun. Tonight is roast Turkey breast. Jess is going to teach me how she makes it.

Sinus angerment

2010-06-22T05:24:00.002-05:00

Hiya, sorry it has been a while. I am going to start out this time with prayer requests.

As I have mentioned earlier, I left the US in June 8th. The plane made the situation much worse, and unfortunately even now have sinus pressure, fatigue, chest congestion, way too much mucus, and cannot hear out of my left ear. Please pray for healing. I have been taking antibiotics, decongestants, and just recently starting taking allergy and hayfever meds. Because I wasn't responding very well to the decongestants and antiboitics, I thought maybe I came here with weakened health, but am allergic to the allergens here and thus things have spiraled out of control. I started my first round of antibiotics the day before I came over. After waiting a few day and my congestion getting worse I realized that even if my sinus infection had healed I probably had one again so I put myself on a second round. I am sure I am a doctor's worse nightmare for my self-treatment, but I don't have international insurance, so I don't know exactly what will happen if I go to a doctor here but I think it will cost me an arm and a leg.

Another prayer request is for me to be covered cheaply with car insurance for the firstfruits car. IT turns out I am not covered by the current insurance plan because I am not 25 or older. This means that there is no one currently living in the house that can drive the firstfruits car. After meeting with a potential mommy to move in the house, we decided that I need to go up to Newport by train and taxi once or twice a week to create a bond with her so when she moves in she will feel comfortable. This would be a thousand times easier if I had a car I could use. So please pray for this need. We are contacting our current and other insurance agencies to see our options.

Okay, I actually have to go, but I will update you later! Thanks for your prayers!

Meetings, Wanderment, and First Trip to Swansea

2010-06-15T17:14:00.004-05:00

Hiya!

Honestly, I feel like a day in Wales is the equivalent to 2 or 3 in Oklahoma. They are so packed.

So, Monday morning we had the Glenwood staff meeting. That was lovely. Then Cerys (a delightful woman from Glenwood who has a baby who is about half a year old) picked me up and took me to the bay where we met up with her parents and another mother and all went on a tour of a Tall Boat. We then ate on a different boat. It was lovely and she is lovely.

She drove me home but I didn't have a key and no one was home so I texted Jamie to tell me when she got home and set off to see if I could find my way to town. I did. It was good to get my bearings and do some exploring. I wandered about for about 2 hours. It was good exercise and good fun and I do feel like I made at least one or 2 divine appointments, even if they did seem trivial. I also checked in on a gym about a block away from my house and I think I might join. I have really bad hips and knees and really need to elliptical in order to keep building cartilage and strengthen my ligaments. While I kinda feel bad spending the last of my graduation money on gym membership while I don't yet have enough sponsorship to cover my stay yet... I need to just get over that and try to be a good steward of my body. I am a pretty bad steward of my body and can use prayer for it.

Speaking of spending money, I spent some while I was out. Another ought-not-feel-guilty pleasure: I bought some canvas, paintbrushes and 3 colors of paint. I really prayed about it before buying it and really felt like I ought. Painting is really a blessing to me. I do it when I am stress and it really calms me down and while I paint I usually do some deep praying. And I know God is a creative God and delights when I use the gifts He has given me. Dunno what I will paint yet... maybe a dragon for Wales... Maybe not.

I came home and recouped and helped cooked dinner and then we all went to a meeting to draw up a legal support document for Jess's stuff. It was in a coffee shop and the World Cup game was playing so we had to talk over it. It was a relaxed environment and it was great brainstorming together. I think we drew up quite a blessed document. Then it was home and then to bed.

TODAY - That is Tuesday

Today I got a late start... partially because I prayed longer than I had expected, which is a real testament to the Holy Spirit, because I am AWFUL at setting out time for the LORD and really focusing on HIM. So I took the train to Swansea and got there and settled by about noon. As I mentioned in my last blog. My goal for the day was to sit and pray for Libby and pray that she would come.

I called Derek when I got there. He was with 2 of the girls from his church so after I prayed and waited for an hour I went and had lunch with them. For those of you who don't know, Derek is a 23 year old pastor who founded a new Welsh Baptist Church in Swansea about 9 months ago. So he and the ladies came down and we had lunch for about 4an hour or so. It was lovely. We also were able to get some business done. By that I mean Derek was able to fill me in on some information my dad needs for the Mission trip HHBC is doing next month.

So, after a lovely lunch, I went back to my spot and prayed some more. I called mum and dad and filled them in on the Missions info for a bit, while keeping an ever watchful eye for Libby. After a couple hours I listened to a sermon on my ipod whilst praying and watching. IT was lovely listening to a sermon while literally on the mission field. IT was one of those sermons that gets you fired up and makes you want to act, and here I was but a glimpse of a face away from pouncing into action.

She never came, but I did get several hours with the Lord and several hours of prayer in for her. I think that if I do this vigil again I will bring a journal with me and write in it to her about how much I love her and God loves her so that when I do find her I can give it to her and she can really see how much time I have spent on actively loving her even though she hasn't been able to see it, and maybe that can be a picture God's love. I dunno, we'll see. Maybe next time I will try to make Derek go with me and see if we can find out how to get where she lives.

At about 5:20 Derek picked me up and drove me back to Cardiff because he was going to go there anyways. As soon as I got back we went to Mel's and she had made curry for us. then she had to run. So we tidied up.

Then Rachel came over and she and I had our first little check in meeting. It was so delightful!!! She is really an amazing woman! I cannot speak highly enough of her.

Everyone agrees that is seems like I have been here much longer than I have been. I really do feel like I belong here. Huzzah for God's plans!!!

First Half-Week

2010-06-13T14:54:00.003-05:00

Hiya!
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers! And comments! I love comments!!!
There isn't much of a story about the cream. The girl just had half a cup of cream and was holding it out to get coffee or something and she just accidentally overturned it on me (she was window seat and I was aisle seat). And if you skype me I'll tell you about the bruise. It was out of a fool-hearty concern for my cat that I bodyslammed the corner of the kitchen table.

Anyways, so I told you about Wednesday. Thursday was rather chill. I went with Jamie to the GoingPublic gap year Christian Leadership Academy that was from like 9-1 or so. IT was really good and refreshing The lesson was about the church and leadership styles in the church and being culturally appropriate. Some fun stats I learned was that 3% of Wales is Christian. Out of the teen to 24 demographic only 2% are Christian. Also, 2 of the students gave presentations and one of them was about spending time alone with the Lord that was quite inspiring. I must admit that spending time alone in the Word has not been my strong suit lately.

Then Jamie took me home where I lay around hoping my luggage would come and trying to recover physically. Got to Talk to mum, dad, and Jasper on Skype which was great. I called about the luggage but never got to talk to any humans, and in the end the luggage didn't come. That night at dinner Jess and Mel's older sister Penny came and ate with us, which was very amusing and interesting. She has got a fair amount of sass in her.

Friday my luggage came at 10:30, which was almost exactly the time I woke up. I unpacked (words cannot describe how great that was) and showered. Then Jamie and I met up with Troy for lunch (whom we have worked with in the past, especially dad). Then we went on errands including getting me a local simcard for my cell phone and a bank account. It took forever to get a bank account. about an hour. But I think I made a new friend in the process. My bank teller was a dear.

Then I met up with Derek at Starbucks. That was swell. Then we came home and had dinner. That night it was just Me, Jamie, and Jess staying home so we went out to Blockbuster and rented some movies and looked around for stuff to do facials. We couldn't find any but Mel bought us some so when Becky came home we all did them. Later when just about everyone had gone to bed, Jess hung out with me in my room and we talked for a long time. It was delightful.

Saturday we had to be in Haverford by 9 for the Crisis Pregnancy course. IT was from 9-4 with a 30 minute lunch break. It is really intense and I think I am going to learn a lot and I like the people there. I have loads of homework from it. Becky went to so we may have a homework party later in the week. That night was the World Cup game between England and the US. So, we went over to Cath's and watched it. She had cooked a lovely dinner so we ate and watched. For those who are totally out of the loop, it was a tie 1-1. Most people around here were rooting for USA because the hate the English so, but out of the girls watching they were not as anti-English. Then we played the boardgame the Big Taboo. It was a delight. It was good to get to know some of the girls from Church on Saturday both through the course and watching the game.

Today we went to Glenwood Baptist. It is a delightful church. I was made to go on stage though, which was quite a surprise to me. They were doing an announcement about the changes and Firstfruits and they mentioned I was new and taking Jamie's place and the next thing I know they ask me to come up there and in short time I am talking in Russian to the audience. Kinda surreal when looking back on it. they prayed for me, which was swell.

After church we arte sandwiches in the park and then I cam home had such a long sleep I guess you could call it a mini-coma. Then it was time for dinner to we went to wetherspoons.

So, that is my week!

Things you might pray about: Pray for Jess very hard this week. She is a dear!
On Tuesday I am planning on going to Swansea and sitting in City Center and praying and hoping that Libby will come. Pray that she comes, and that she remembers me and that we are safe and able to talk and that I am able to feed her. Pray for Libby in general.

For those who don't know, I met Libby last year on mission to Swansea. She is a heroin addict who is forced by her abusive boyfriend to sell herself to make money for both of their habits. Please pray for her. She is so sweet and maybe more than anyother heroin addict I have ever met she seems to have a decent head on her shoulders. She really needs love. From what she has told me about her life, I don't know that anyone has ever really looked as anything beyond an object that they can use. Pray that God's selfless love really shows through me and that His truth reaches her. And that I get to meet her! Okay, that is all for now!

I live in Cardiff, Wales

2010-06-09T15:25:00.004-05:00

Hey all! By the grace of God I have arrived. This is of course despite many technical difficulties both on the part of the airlines and 2 of the 3 planes I rode on. Also despite getting cream poured on me on my long flight and then having my luggage not arrive in Amsterdam.

It has been an interesting 30 or so hours. On the sweet side, I had just about the most wonderful send off ever. I had a little family goodbye thing the night before, and then Jasper, Caroline, and my parents saw me off at the airport Tuesday morning. Back to the unsweet side I have a bruise the size of my fist on my thigh and I rode on planes for about 15 hours with constantly changing cabin pressures, with a pretty bad sinus infection that was quite painful and I have not fully recovered my hearing over 9 hours later.

Jamie picked me up. We called the luggage people to give them my address since I had forgotten it. then drove home. Here at Firstfruits was the whole gang pretty much, including Jess, Melanie, and Melanie's little daughter, Leona, who is probably the cutest kid in the entire world. I would post a video or photo, but I think you would just have to meet her to grasp her full cuteness. Also, Jess had made a welcome sign for me! Made me so happy! It was very sweet.

Today was busy, we ate lunch, dropped Jess off, did some errands (including money exchange) and then Jamie and I hung out and talked at Starbucks. Then we came home and the above mentioned gals plus Becky and Rachel all ate dinner. They are an ABSOLUTE DELIGHT! Then we went to a Glenwood Baptist praise event. By that time I almost fell asleep during the sermon (though it was a good service) just out of sheer sleep deprivation.

Pray that they send my suitcase tomorrow! I am sleepy! I am sleepward bound!

GOD IS GOOD! I HAVE SUCH PEACE.

Wanna support me?

2010-05-20T14:20:00.004-05:00

Hey Bloggers!

As you may know, I just graduated! Huzzah! I am very excited that God has blessed me by enabling me to graduate with Honors from OU in just three years with a Bachelor’s degree in Russian and a minor in History in addition to my Associate’s degree in Substance Abuse Counseling from OSUOKC. At this momentous time in my life, an amazing opportunity has come up that I really feel passionately about: to serve through a charity in Wales caring for young pregnant women and new mothers!

How did all this happen? After I went to Wales last summer on our church’s mission trip, I felt I might be led back there. Then this new opportunity threw itself at me. There is a charity in Cardiff, Wales called “Firstfruits” which provides a safe environment for two to three young pregnant women or new mothers and their babies. Two “House Mums” minister to the women and one of them, Jamie Howell, is leaving in June and was looking for a replacement. I really have a heart to care for women who are trying to rise above difficult backgrounds or addiction issues. This charity really seems like a perfect fit and I cannot wait to get over there and start helping! I was just offered the position a couple of weeks ago, but I am expected to report for duty in early June. Now that I have graduated, all of my attention is directed towards this endeavor.

How can you help? “Firstfruits” charity is only about a year old and does not yet have the financial support to pay a salary for its House Mums. The good news is that they will pay for my accommodation and some food expenses for my one year of service. I will only be responsible for finding support to cover living expenses which are estimated to be about $750 per month (not including airfare).

I am so grateful for the outpouring of support and encouragement from friends and family since I have told them about this new endeavor. It really seems that God is in this thing. Please consider joining with others as they support this charity. Even a few dollars a month could make all the difference. More important, though, is your prayer support. Once I get over there I will update my blog regularly so you will be able to see how best you can pray for this great work.

You can send donations to me directly through the Paypal account here on my blog (look left) or send tax deductible donations by using the form below and sending it with any financial contribution or commitment. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me! My email is DeahJo@gmail.com . Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!

Sincerely,
Deah Jordan Rice

Tax deductible donation for: Going Public (Firstfruits), Wales, Deah Jordan Rice

I would like to make a:
One time contribution of _____
Monthly contribution of __________
If possible, please indicate day it will be given (ie-1st, 15th) _____

Make checks payable to: Henderson Hills
Memo: Wales, Deah Rice
Send to: Henderson Hills, Attn: Missions
1200 E I-35 Frontage Rd.
Edmond, OK 73034

A little more about Firstfruits

Background
Firstfruits was birthed after Rachel Cooper recognized through her involvement at crisis pregnancy centers that housing, independent living, education, and employment were common needs that came with unexpected pregnancies. Rachel’s church, Glenwood Faith Community, adopted Firstfruits as one of their community projects. In April 2008, a house owned by a church member became available and was leased to Firstfruits at a low rate. In the following months, volunteers furnished the home. It can accommodate up to three women at a time, with space for one baby per mother.

Mission Statement
“And I will provide a place for my people…and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed…” 2 Samuel 7:10

Aim
“To improve the lives of vulnerable, pregnant women and new mothers, helping them to develop their physical, mental, social and spiritual capacities.”

Objectives
1. To provide a safe and secure living environment
2. To offer emotional support through trained counselors
3. To offer practical support in the development of life-skills, particularly those most relevant for new mothers.
4. To provide accurate and timely information on education and employment opportunities.

Website:
http://www.first-fruits.co.uk/

Ezekiel played with homemade legos... kinda.

2010-03-29T13:31:00.001-06:00

Ok, so I am a crazy charismatic that sometimes does things strangely just because I am weird, but I sometimes do strange things because God tells me to. A good Ruth of mine says that my life reminds her a lot of the Old Testament. I guess that is part of way I get a good deal of peace when I read through the books of the prophets. Right now I am reading through Ezekiel (which might I add I have been TERRIBLE at spending time in the word recently so feel free to pray that God makes me do it. The last 2 days in a row God woke me up long before my alarm. On days like that I have no excuse to not read the Bible. It has been really nice.). Today in Ezekiel 4 I read something that I found really encouraging and joy producing.

Ezekiel 4:1-3 (NASB)
1"Now you son of man, get yourself a brick, place it before you and inscribe a city on it, Jerusalem.
2"Then lay siege against it, build a siege wall, raise up a ramp, pitch camps and place battering rams against it all around.
3"Then get yourself an iron plate and set it up as an iron wall between you and the city, and set your face toward it so that it is under siege, and besiege it This is a sign to the house of Israel."

Okay, now I realize that the average bloke might look at this as very straight forward and pretty suckie for the house of Israel. I see that, but I also like to look at the relationship between God and his prophets. Sometimes God has be kinda do stuff like this and I don't get why until later, sometimes he'll tell me to do stuff like this and reveals why as I am doing it. Since God has him write Jerusalem on it, it is pretty clear Ezekiel got the picture right away. But still, God basically told this grown man to get down, presumably in the dirt and "play" with bricks and plates, and make walls and ramps and pitch little miniature camps and "play" war. This act was profound, because it was a stern warning and prediction, but the way God chose to display it was very kinesthetically geared and almost child-like. I am having trouble putting words to why I find this encouraging and blog-worthy, so forgive me if I am not conveying it very well. I strongly believe that God communicates with everyone of His kiddos in the way that is best for them. there is evidence for that in just the ways he speaks to the prophets and speaks through them. Some of them do a lot of talking, whereas others like Ezekiel do a lot of miming and strange physical representations for things, etc. God seems to talk to me like He is with Ezekiel here. Part of me wonders how much Ezekiel had to wait to find the answers to each of the metaphors and how many were instantaneous, and how silly he felt making siege ramps and little tents up to attack a brick while he was sitting in public on the dirty ground (or at least that is how I picture it).

I guess it helps me feel like I am not alone in my... originality. :) Not alone in my strangeness. And it reminds me of some good times when God spoke and I understood, which gives me hope for those complicated and life-involving metaphors that haven't been explained to me yet.

Update

2010-03-03T14:15:00.000-06:00

Hello World!

I haven't updated this in FOREVER! I am back in Oklahoma, as I presume you all know. I am graduating this year from OU. 70 days until graduation!! :) Praise GOD! This has been a bit of a rough semester, but regardless it will be over soon and I have gotten closer to and met a lot of people here. So that is a blessing.

One thing God has really laid on my heart is this new program thingy calle Rahab Rehab. It is a local female version of the Sampson Society which was founded by Nate Larkin. I highly advise everybody to read his book. It is DEFINITLY geared towards men, but as a woman I got a good deal out of it. Sampson Society is a group of men that meet together as fellow-travelers and are open with one another to support eachother and find support in a non-BS, manly, Christian environment. The focus tends to be in dealing with sexual temptation, but seriously we talk about anything and everything. It is kind of set up like an AA meeting. It is hard to explain how freeing it is to go to one of these meetings and be open and know no one is going to give you feedback or advice or judge you. They just listen and share their life. During the sharing part of the meeting a word is hosen to be a center peice of the discussion, but you can deviate from it if soemthign in your life seems more pressing. Words might be "betrayal" or "contentment" or any number of things there is always plenty to say about any given word (in my experience). Then whoever wants to shares for a few minutes each. Then we close in prayer. There are other aspects to the meeting, but I consider this the hightlight. Anyways IF you wanna know more google Samson Society or Nate Larkin or email me. God had me write a little thing for women about Rahab Rehab that kinda mirrors Nate Larkin's book, so if you want a copy of that I can email it to you. : )

In other news I think God wants me to live in Wales next year...
Some possibilities for this would be to do a baptist gap year internship OR maybe work for First Fruits. Check it out. : )

....never again to I try to load a video this long.

2009-06-11T02:53:00.000-05:00

SO, it doesn't look red in the video, but I assure you I am burnt to a crisp and sore as all be it. I took the video yesterday but after 2 hours of downloading I gave up. Let's see if I have more stamina today.

Today is Veronika's birthday. It is also a Catholic holiday so we went to the 8 am Mass. It entirely in Polish. I think they change it up just to spite me. Atleast is was some preparation for me; I will be in Poland on Monday after all. Anyways I understood 1 out of every 10 words or so and eventually gave up and for some reason felt it important to push back my cuticles.

Made more little hedgehogs at about midnight last night. They are Runny and I think we are going to try to make them a cake or something.

Veronika is just as burned as me, except it is her whole back because she was in the bikini. Ouch. Yo should see us trying togo to sleep. We are a funny pair. Babushka frequently gets on to me for not eating enough, and for beign too white. ...despite my burn.

also... I didn't mention this earlier but the first day I got here when I asked babushka how she was she said "I'm old and I'll die soon." Oh, babushka. But I quickly got her callign herself a devushka with me.. which is a young lady.

Lazy Love

2009-06-09T15:23:00.000-05:00

HApPY BIRTHDAY CHERITH!!!!

2009-06-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

Well, Ladies and gentlemen, I am in good, ole’ Latvia now. :)

Let me recount my last moments in Russia.
Thursday:
Got up went to the Academy and paid part of my fees. When to the Institute to print of Paige’s flight confirmation and post that blog. Walked home in the rain, and finished up packing my backpack and purse. I called back and forth with the visa support lady who informed me I probably won’t be allowed into St. Pete until August 1st… I called my Parents about 20 times. Then I took out the trash. And came back up to turn in my key and say good bye. Almost cried (but that wouldn’t have been a first for the day). Then I went to Paige’s district and bought her some chips then showed up at her place. There we alternately watched 30rock and Heroes. Haha. It was good times. We had my computer set up at foot of her bed and hers on the chair beside the bed. Mine played 30rock, hers played Heroes. Yeah. We cool. Then she showered and packed and I chatted with my mum on skype. Then we just pretty much sat around. It was nothing spectacular, but very in character of our relationship. :)

Then at about 3:00 am we took the taxi to the airport. We got to see the open bridges. He got us there in 20 minutes. Paige and I sat together in the airport until about 4 when we got in line to get in. Hers was the second flight out. I had hoped to take her to luggage check-in… but I couldn’t because the security checks were before it. Got as close as I could then we said our goodbyes while suppressing tears.

In my last moments there I realized I had no exit strategy. Paige had said a bus went from the Airport to the Moskovsky metro station but it occurred to me that we were in the departure section… not the arrival one, so why would a bus leave from here? Concerning, but I figured it would all work out. I went upstairs. Found a vacant bench next to some ones where people were sleeping. I laid my head on my purse and wrapped myself around my backpack and slept. I woke up every hour and had to roll over because something or other was asleep, but I slept until like 6:30. When I woke up I was praying to find a way out and I looked out the window and saw a bus. I ran downstairs. That one had left but a marshrut was coming. I made sure it went to the metro and hopped on. It came there to drop people off but I just went throught the end of the line an dthe driver asked me if I was going back into town and I said yes, please so he turned around and took us back around. I paid and bolted.
It was before rush hour in the metro which was nice. I figured I needed to make a copy of my passport and there is a copier at the institute… plus it was pouring rain and I wanted to get inside before my feet were soaking again… well, I failed in that respect but I did get to the institute and got to call my parents and talk to them before they went to sleep. I hung out, used the internet and made the copy. I stalled around until the café was open got a bite to eat. The food there is cheap and filling so I figured it was a good place since I didn’t want to have to get more rubles. At the café I met Katriona and we got to talk for the last time it was nice. Then I left for the Academy. I got my ish done there really quick. I was still soking wet and pondered seeing a movie. I thought my errands would take all day, but they took such little time I had like 8 hours…. The movie theater was showing Night at the Museum 2… not interested. So I went to the metro to the station with the train station. I figured there was probably a movie theatre around there that would be showing something else.
I get there it is pouring harder than ever. I walk across the street to the Mc Donals thinking that is nothing else I could watch stupid stuff on the internet, but it is packed and I really didn’t wanna spend my last rubles on McyDs. So I peed and brushed my teeth there and left. I walked forever in no particular direction hoping to find a movie theatre. I was soaked through. I passed by a delicatessen about the time I was giving up hope. Good news is, I found a jazz hall. I’d like to go there something when I go back. Anyways, so I go in the delicatessen and break my last bill (100 rubles) on Israeli cheesecake and a cup of tea. I sat there and copied my numbers from my phone book. Nice. I zoned for who knows how long. Then I left. They say (here in Russia) that is it good luck if it rains the last place you are somewhere. It means the country is mourning your leaving… well, I don’t know about that but I can tell you that if you only have one pair of shoes and no umbrella and you have no where really to go it does put you in danger of getting a cold. :)

I go to the station and sit there. Praying, Zoning, texting, and eventually find myself being woken up by a Militia man. I fell asleep on my bags and he told me I shouldn’t sleep because my things could get stolen. I apologized and we walked off to be with his militia friends. That’ll wake a girl up. I texted some more and decided I needed some caffeine. I counted all of my change. I walked around until I found a kiosk with coke. I had to pay in the most annoying way possible… a bulk of it was 10 kopeck pieces. The thing cost 36 rubles. The girl was slightly annoyed but said “At least you weren’t paying with kopecks.” Made me smile.
I go back with my coke and sit next to the departures. I make a playlist on my ipod I like to call “Don’t sleep.” It is pretty much anything to hard, fast, or happy to fall asleep to. I bide my time there until it is time to go. Then I go. I switched over to my “sleep” playlist before I get on the train. I was asleep before they gave me the pillow or the sheets. I heard the army men making fun of me, but I didn’t care. Woke up to make my bed and fill out the forms and to give my passport, but other than that there was no waking me up until I got the D-pils.
Veronika picked me up at the station. We got home and talked to everyone. Papa was really sweet. He was asking me about my future plans and I said Lord knows what I am doing and that I was homesick. HE said I could just study in Russia and go home in the Summers. I said that that was too expensive to go to America and he said I should just call my dad and say I wanna go home and that is shouldn’t be a problem. He said money isn’t the most important thing. He talked about how it is here today and gone tomorrow, and how we shouldn’t put our trust in it and how the current financial crisis is evidence of that. Mama laughed a lot and said “We’ll aren’t you wise this morning!” They asked me a lot about st. pete. I didn’t really have a lot to say. I dunno why. :)
The bought out a DELISCIOUS cake and we ate it. When I saw Babushka I asked her how she was and she said “I’m old and I’ll die soon.” I love babushka. Babushka was glad to hear I’m not married. She is too cute. She said I was a smart girl and I told her she’s a smart girl too. She laughed really hard, so did mama. Then Babushka said “Jordan and I are just 2 girls together.” I said of course we are.
Veronika and I went to sleep and slept until 3. Now we be chillin.

Here are some old pictures so you can remember what I look like.

CHERITH!! I LOVE YOU!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING SISTER!! I'd call you if I knew how!

Signing out...ish

2009-06-03T05:14:00.000-05:00

Well. Today is my final-full day in St. Pete. I can’t believe it. Yesterday my darling friend and sister in Christ called up Andre from church and he came over and picked up my luggage and drove me and them to her place. I love my church.

Kristina has been kind enough to agree to keep my bags for me at her place while I am traveling around Europe. SO the current plan is for me to leave on a train tomorrow evening for Latvia. Stay there about 10 days then meet some friends in Poland and travel with them to the Ukraine, Moldova, and Romania(that whole trip will takeabout 10 days), then meet my parents in England. …then I guess come back to Russia and spend the semester (or possible the year) at RGHA. Then come back and finish my degree at OU. That is the rough plan. Be praying about it.

Also be praying about my homesickness and stuff. IT is stifling.

I paid the Academy a part of my tuition today so that we can start working on getting my visa. Yes I said START. Lord, help me. I dunno how this is gonna go down.

Waffle fries at Carl’s Jr. are good.

I got my certificate from the Institute. I of course passed with flying colors. Ha I was totally stressed out during finals week, but even on the day where I had 4 exams I owned like every single one of them. I even got to help out Paige on hers. Yeah that sound bad but according to the literature teacher, here they have this Orthodox sense of community so the students all help one another, where as in America be have a protestant/individualistic mindset so we find it wrong to help one another. I found that analysis to be interesting. But anyways, in our Oral exams I Would every now and then have a chance to clarify something to Paige or Joe to help them out and make the room less awkward. It was a boost in self esteem.

Paige got me crazy addicted to Heroes again. We are rocking through the 3rd season. Good times. It certainly does well to fend off the feeling of homesickness, but does my sleep cycle strange. I’ve been staying up time like 2 or 3 or 6 in the morning watching that, 30rock, or Arrested Development. I guess it is summer so that is kinda my normal summer sleeping habit. Plus the Sun hardly goes down if ever. We just get a few hours of dusk every day.

Tonight I’m gonna meet up with Paige tonight and go with her to the Airport. But I’ll get all of my belongings out of home first and take them with me. I guess that makes today the beginning of my vagrancy. …If it didn’t start a couple years ago. Just call me supertramp (but don’t because calling a girl a tramp isn’t the same as calling a guy a tramp… plus I didn’t like that movie, but I didn’t read the book).

Ok. I guess I am signing out. My ramblings are getting less coherent.

Still Tight-Rope Walking, but NEW with Net

2009-05-20T05:29:00.000-05:00

Another post can you believe it???

:)
So, I am currently eating a DELIsCIOUS “salad.” I dunno what we would call it… maybe just vegetables. Anyways I cut up cucumber, avocado, and tomato and put a little lemon juice and lime juice on it and have found myself in heaven.

After my early morning Russian class I used the interwebs a bit and then went to the Academy. At the Academy I picked up my paperwork to be an official student and stuff for my visa.

Now I’m home for a breather and food and to pick up my computer, because my plan is to take my laptop to the institute and do any number of the 10000 things I need to to in the next couple weeks, most of them need my laptop, and/or the internet.

Why I’m posting other than to be a hobbit it to say that I got an email from the people in charge of my scholarship in America! Oh, let me explain that. As my parents and I are hashing out possible options for the upcoming school year and trying to figure out the wisest way of going about all of this, my mother made a BRILLIANT suggestion. (Man, now I am eating more of that pasta and having a chocolate-soy shake… I am in HEAVEN!!) She told me to contact my scholarship providers at OU and see if I can defer my scholarship. I emailed yesterday and was surprised by Jeff’s characteristically American to respond to the same day he received the email. Now as many of you know, this is only technically my second year at the University, but the Lord has blessed me with an overabundance of hours so that it should only take me 1 more year to graduate with my Russian degree if I go back to OU. He said I that I have a four-year scholarship and if I choose to go to this school it can be considered a non-reciprocal exchange. So, if for example I go to the Russian Christian Academy for the Humanities for a year and realize it isn’t where I want to be long term, I can return to OU and I’d have lost 2 semesters of my scholarship, but I would have 2 semesters left… and since I was only planning on using 2 semesters anyways, that IS WONDERFUL NEWS. :) SO let us expound upon this scenario. Supposing after a year of studying at the Academy I for whatever reason decide that is enough, I go back to OU, pick right back up my scholarship and can resume my loans without missing a beat, and I’ll still have graduated in 4 years with a Bachelor’s in Russian to be added to my already established Associate’s degree in Drug and Alcohol Abuse Counseling. What’s more I’ll have lived an extra year in Russia and SUBSTANCIALLY improved my Russian which will help me in the rest of my Russian classes, which I could really use. I currently have a higher GPA overall than I do in my major, which isn’t exactly peachy-keen. And it could make me more marketable in the potential work-force (if dealing with say translation, interpretation, or ESL in the Former USSR). Who knows, maybe this route was God’s intention all along and I only just now realized it was an option.
BUT DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP FOR THAT. In my head this is still more of a Plan B than a Plan A, I’m just saying that it Is nice, and I am not really the one calling the shots anyways, so who knows what the future holds. :)

YES! For dessert the last chocolate chip cookie!!!! BLISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Sorry Nicole if this one is too long... you can take it in chunks :)

2009-05-20T01:38:00.001-05:00

I again didn’t get out of bed at the time I had hoped for, but I wasn’t trying too very hard since I am still in the healing process and I had my big interview today. I ate more pasta and macaroni for breakfast and got ready for the day.
SKIPPING AHEAD…

OK. So I get to the Academy at like 2:30 PM. I show the secretary my Diploma and stuff and say I am early but that I am there for my Interview and I don’t know who I am supposed to give my paperwork to. She seems very surprised that I think I have an interview and tells me to wait in the hall for the vice-rector. I wait… and wait. When he finally comes there are many people waiting for him and it doesn’t seem to matter much to him what order he sees them in. The Secretary unfortunately lost my application so she is running around looking all over the world trying to find it, the poor lady. Finally at like 3:30 she tells me to come into the inner waiting room. After a short time there she tells me to go in and see the vice-rector.
I hand him my papers and act awkward and forget to say hello. I recover and he calls the rector (I only found out who it was later) and says he has the American he had talked about previously and wants to know if they have time for an interview at 4:00. The person on the other end agrees and they say they need to get someone from the Psychology department to come too. I then am told to keep my papers and go to inner waiting room again. He tells the secretary that there will be an interview today and her jaw just about drops clear to the floor and she says “TODAY???” (in Russian obviously) and he then makes sure there is a clear room to so it in. Then while he is seeing like 5 other students in record time, the secretary somewhat apologetically asks me to fill out the application again… grrrr… I mean I understand the error and all I just hate filling out official Russian document that always have plenty of words I don’t know and it is clear that time is of the essence. The Vice-rector comes out and asks if I am ready when I haven’t finished the form but am done with just about everything I understand… so I stall for a few minutes and then say I am ready.
I enter the room to realize I am having a personal interview with the rector, the vice-rector, and the head of the Psychology Department. Yes. In Russian. And so they look at my transcript but they don’t really seem to take much stock in it and even ask if it is a highschool transcript… I dunno. I think we’ll have to have words about that later, but they seem to think that since the process here is so different that I will have to do the full 5 years. The head of the Psychology department seemed very interested in a more detailed list of what I’d learned, but the vice-rector didn’t so much. I think I’d rather have that than the other way around… anyways, they asked where I would live and I said I’d need to live in a dorm, and then the rector called somebody… he was actually on the phone most of the conversation, but as soon as he would get off the phone he would jump right back into the conversation without missing a beat. When they found out I wanted a dorm for the summer and the school year they said I’d probably have to get one out by Peterhof, which is hella far away, just because all the dorms fill up in the summer. But then after one of the Rector’s phone calls he said I might be able to stay in these Baptist dorms and that they usually don’t even ask them, but since I am foreign and Baptist it should work out and that I need to go ask them… (they never actually gave me a number.. or address or anything… and I don’t know the official name… hmm, tomorrow is another day). Anyways everyone seemed very excited about that, including me. So they asked about my visa situation and they seemed to feel absolutely moved by my need for a visa. They gave me a speech about how everyone is equal at the school, whether Baptist, Orthodox, or non-believers and seemed to think this was a very grave and maybe even radical speech. *aside**Oh, kids, I’m from America REMEMBER!*
After the interview the vice-rector took me to this other office to get my visa info started. The guy had already left , so I am to go back tomorrow… the guy will only be in tomorrow from 10:00-13:00 so I think I’ll have to go right after class. As I left I was like flying, and almost forgot that I am weak and in poor health, but on the metro it caught up to me.
On the way home I went and got my pictures done for my official documents tomorrow.
When I got home Ira and her fiancée Roma were home and they said the pasta was really good and thanked me for making it, and didn’t understand how half of it was gone so they asked if Paige had come over. Heheh. Nope I am just a master at eating… and I eat it like 3 meals a day…. Haha.

GUESS WHAT!!! Ira found some chocolate-chip cookies at a local grocery store!!!! THAT IS LIKE AN ANSWER TO PRAYER. They were just sitting on the kitchen and she’d written “IT’S FOR YOU” (in English!!) on them! She is SUCH A SWEETY!! SO I ate so many of them and my pasta and now I am so full I am about ready for a food coma… but it might be an exhaustion coma.

And Both Helene and Kristina said they were praying for me and checked in with me after my interview! HOW WONDERFUL!! :)))))))
I LOVE THESE COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, Anecdote. The other day I was waiting for Paige outside Pizza&Pasta.com and as many of you know, when I zone out I do slightly strange things… especially if I am in a good mood. One of these things is standing on my tip-toes. I was doing this very thing absent mindedly when I was noticed by a quite shnackered bystander. The exact date of this happening was May 10th… the day after Victory and while it was about 1 pm I am fairly confident this fine fellow was still up and participating in the previous night’s festivities. He was perfectly harmless and quite jovial. He noticed my standing on my tippy-toes and quite naturally assumed I was doing so out of a longing for high-heels. He was kind enough to try to rectify the matter for me. HE walked up to me and bent over and placed his lighter under my left heel. It worked quite well I must say, and I thanked him kindly for his good deed. He told me he had another one if I wanted it. I nodded so he searched his pockets only to find a cigarette pack, so making do with what he had he placed it under my right foot. This was not entirely helpful, because I was afraid of smashing his cigarettes which wouldn’t be a very kind way of repaying his favor. I came down off of my toes in an awkward manner and told him I wasn’t able. He assured me that I only couldn’t because the objects were different heights this making me stand at different angles. I agreed and appreciated his attempt to cover-up my un-lady-likeness for being unable to stand in these high-heels we had constructed. He then wished me a happy holiday. I wished him one right back. He asked if I was waiting for my man, presumably a soldier. I nodded… I guess in a way Paige I is kind of my soldier… but really I realized I was lucky for him not yet realizing that I was foreign and while I was enjoying our conversation thoroughly I’ve found that is it wise to keep such chance meetings brief just to be on the safe-side. He jovially saluted with both of his hands and informed me he too was a military man. HE asked me if my man was a General, and then proceeded down the rank. As he was going further down I realized I was going to have to say yes eventually or create a distraction, so I pretended I was getting a call. HE continued to talk to me for a while and I occasionally responded. He waited a couple of time even though the walk light was green in his direction, but he eventually walked off, just as Paige was coming too… I don’t think he would have considered her much of a soldier. But am glad for that chance meeting. It brightened my stay.

I'm kinda sick :( but getting better :)

2009-05-19T03:04:00.000-05:00

Hello loved ones! I’ve been sick for a while now. That is of course unfortunate, but I only seem to have a sinus infection which has caused a way sore throat… so I just have to drink a lot and sleep a lot and I started myself up on antibiotics yesterday. On the up side me being down and out has given me a lot if time to lay around and after watching almost all of my movies I realized I could use some of that new-found time for prayer and Bible study. That has been helpful for me to process some things. So it sucks that I’ve missed school, church, and rehab and haven’t been able to ChaCha or look into the stuff I need to prepare for life once my visa runs out… but… God’s got it and maybe he’s forcing this little at home vacation to remind me that it is on His shoulders a whole lot more than it is on mine. :)
On the downside, I’m sick, just about broke, and don’t know how everything is going to go down once I leave here… I’ve got an interview tomorrow at the Academy I am supposed to go to. I am nervous and hope I will be well, put-together and that I’ll be sharp as a tack with my Russian… pray for me… although by the time I post this it will probably have already happened.
On the up side, I’m cooking more since my house family is in Greece and I am home all day. Ira and I cooked chicken legs together. They were really good! They were fried buy not battered and seasoned with lime juice and onions. Sounds weird but was really good. She and I just improved it. I’ve been eating my traditional cheesy potatoes with regularity and today I made macaroni and tomato sauce. I hate to say it but I absolutely disagree with Russian tomato products. Their tomato sauces are little more than glorified ketchup, so I made my own. It turned out pretty good I think. :) I used tomato paste, half of a tomato, water, oil, basil, and some beef bouillon. I ate like 3 helpings, but I made SOO much that I barely tapped into the supply I’d made. I am excited about this discovery. I am trying to figure out how to live cheaply next semester and now I have a nice easy, lazy, cheap alternative to my cheesy potatoes. I’m not trying to go vegetarian or anything, but as we all know meat isn’t cheap, so now I’ve got 2 swell dishes that are filling but don’t involve meats. And I realize both of these dishes are largely starch-based, but I’m okay with that.
Less than three weeks before my visa runs out. How do these things happen? I still am not completely sure what I am going to do with my luggage… Ha I am not entirely sure where I am going to go or how or via what transport or when. One day at a time I guess. I’ve looked into train tickets. I think I’ll probably leave here on a train to Latvia at about 8 o’clock on June 4th, and then Arrive in D-pils at like in the morning…. The only thing is that really sucks for my Latvian family. I almost wish I could tell them to pick me up at like 9 or something just so they don’t have to get up so early… I dunno. I could just walk to the bus station and wait for the trains to starts running and take one home. That wouldn’t be a problem if I leave my big luggage with somebody in Russia…

Sorry for the Rambling. Thank you all for commenting and being so sweet and wonderful last post. :)

I have an anecdote I need to write on here soon!!!

Mixed Feelings

2009-05-12T03:15:00.000-05:00

I am so tired of explaining to people that Psychology is A) useful and B) not evil. With every single new person it is like I am defending a cult (it maybe only with protestants here, but I am not sure)… and that brings me back to most people who aren’t protestant thinking Baptists are a cult… so, what the heck, I am like a part of 2 warring cults I never knew it.
My host family is in Greece right now. This girl Ira is staying with me in lieu of them. She is a dear. She is the one I believe I mentioned earlier (a LONG time ago). She Plays bass and is protestant. Anyways… Last night she and I got into this like 1 hour discussion of psychology. She was seriously fighting it so fervently that it was like against everything she’d ever learned. Plus she mentioned that she had learned in Bible school that is was opposing God or something, and she kept on being like there are no psychologists in the Bible. Then she would say stuff like (when I was explaining Christian Psychology) “so if I learn the science of the brain and I learn what the Bible says about how to think, then I don’t need God do I?” What the crap kind of logic is that? That has nothing to do with anything I tell ya! You can say that about Theology, any science including medicine, and any philosophy… AH! It is just so frustrating to be dealing with this wonderful, passionate, god-seeking woman who thinks I am going into a profession of demon worship or something.
Oh and when I mentioned that some of my pastors back home regularly go to a psychologist it is like I had said some of my pastors back home are heretics. When I explained to her and tried to brush off her misconceptions of what psychology is, especially Christian psychology, she eventually said “We don’t have that kind of psychology here.” What? I will be going to a school that has whole courses on Christian Psychology.
I thought I had made some sort of head way… this morning when she woke me up (which I haven’t been woken up by a human being in months…) she told me about this disk series she has about how we don’t need psychology and she asked if I wanted to hear it. She said it was speakers from America, Britain and Russia. My thought was “Why would I want to listen to that crap tear down my future profession based upon misconceptions and ignorance?” But I just said yes, so I’m sure she’ll supply me with is soon. It is just aggravating.
I am tried of feeling like A)no one understands or B) everyone is against me. Right now Russia feels like a battle field (I dunno maybe it is from Victory Day on Saturday). In addition to it being the typical Spiritual battlefield, I am constantly having to defend my relationship with God, the things he is telling me to do (ie staying here, studying psychology, and MUCH, MUCH MORE), and my field of study in general. I am also going have to soon start fighting the Visa office and all kinds of crap. It doesn’t really matter who I talk to, whether an American or a Russian, no nobody understands what the crap I am doing and why and they either seem to feel hurt that I am doing what I am doing, or seem to think something is seriously wrong with me.
This is of course gross generalizations and just because I am feeling cornered and you all, my dear loving readers, probably shouldn’t put much stock into this post except to see that I am agitated. Sorry I am venting to you, but in this particular moment is seems less daunting to vent to the faceless masses who haven’t even commented on this blog in forever (and thus perhaps I am venting to no one at all but simply writing this as a sort of message in a bottle to nowhere), then to talk to any one specific person who at any given moment in this rant-fest will either make it clear they have no clue what I am talking about, that they vehemently oppose me, or they will have to go do something more important with their time. …In summation (sort of) I would like to write 2 extremely eloquent essays in Russian 1)why Psychology is a helpful tool that God uses and condones and 2) why the crap I have done what I have and how God’s hand is in it. The second one should really be translated into English as well… but since I lack the ability to write anything worth reading in Russian, these two things that seem incredibly important to me to write will probably never get written and I’ll probably just find peace with my actions being misconstrued as something sinister… but I am not resigned to that just yet.

Again, sorry about that. I guess because I don’t have a psychologist right now I am taking it out on you guys. :)

In other news, it was Victory Day on Saturday. I really wanted to go to the Morning Parade, but I was not about to go alone. I called Paige like 10 times as I was in various stages of getting ready, but she never picked up so I gave up and once I was ready I just went back to bed. She called later and apologized. We did end up going to what she and I would consider a Parade, but for some reason the Russians don’t. They call it a demonstration. We went to it and we were kinda far from the road, because all the people were lined up. IT was the first day I didn’t wear any sort of coat at all. The morning was 20 Celsius and Sunny. AMAZING. As the Parade was minutes away storm clouds started brewing. Then a few straight-line winds blew in. Then it started raining a bit. Paige and I agreed that the weather was highly similar to what she and I have experienced in pre-tornadic conditions and while we knew there was not about to be a tornado in St. Pete I guess you could say it made us feel at home. Then is started pouring down. IT was funny because the rain was coming from the opposite direction of the parade, so when we heard screams we thought the parade was really close… until we realized the screams were coming from the opposite direction. Then we felt the down pour and quickly understood the cause of the screams and even made little yelps ourselves. Goodnews was a bunch of people left before the whole thing started so I was right next to the rope that was holding back the masses and right next to one of the soldiers guarding it. That soldier and I were cozy. I was at times practically leaning against him and his body frequently blocked the rain for me. At one point he said something good-naturedly to me but I didn’t recognize any of the words so I just smiled. After the parade was over the gates to the metro were closed. So we walked to another metro and then on the way to Paige’s home I bought the Scream trilogy (sad I know but there are no dvd stores by Paige’s place to I had to buy it at a phone and electronics store… it was a lot cheaper there though… but it also didn’t have any English options). So we dried of at Paige’s and watched the first two Screams in Russian and ate the junk and grapes we had bought at Diksi. Yesterday I went to church, then Pizza&Pasta.com with Paige, we found a park by here place and people watched, and then I went to church again. Then I came home and we ate blin and said goodbye to my family and talked to Ira about psychology….. grrr. :)

HAha. I get so worked up sometimes. 
I wrote that this morning.

Anyways, I’ve had a delightful day!! After I wrote you all I took a shower. I was alone in the house so I sang, yelled, and talked to/at/with God as was appropriate. It was not a highpoint of my life as far as the emotion spectrum goes but the Holy Spirit isn’t called our Counselor for nothing. :) So things got better. God calmed me down and reminded me that He is God and affirmed what He has called me to do the a much needed 1000th time. 
Aleksey had called me when I was in the shower, but I just ignored it and pretended that God wanted to play me a happy song. After my in-shower counseling session I called him back he cheered me up too. It we talked for like 15 minutes and he made me laugh for about 14 of those. :) And if any of you has seen me in a bad mood, you know how impressive of an accomplishment that is. He was at his new church until late last night and he really, really likes it there. I think he was going fishing when I was calling him and he was fishing when I called him yesterday too. I guess he really enjoys fishing, which is highly idyllic to me… but I am not so sure that he actually likes fish. One time he told me the best fish was a sausage. I am inclined to agree, and that sounds like something Grandpa would say :) I dunno but it is good that he has a productive way of spending his time.
Oh, be praying for Seryozha. He is living at home, he moved out from the brothers a while back because he thought he had a job lined up. Well, 3 people basically tell him they need him to work for them and then they never call back. This is of course very aggravating and confusing to him and he is concerned because especially since he has a past of heroin addiction, being home all the time with nothing to do is a really bad situation for him to be in. I don’t pretend to know what God is hoping to accomplish by this situation but I know Seryozha’s prayer is for a good job and quick. :)
Anyways, after talking to him I straightened some stuff up and made myself some scrambled egg, oatmeal, and nuked bread. After I ate I tried to post this but the internet won’t let me do anything I want to. I can’t get on facebook, my email, my bank account, or sign into my blog. So, I called my mommy! She was HAPPY!!! I haven’t really heard her really and truly happy in a while so that was WONDERFUL. Then I did the dishes and did some surfing online. Then I watched one of the last songs in Kill Bill 1 because I have been wanting to hear that song for a long time. IT really made me wanna watch the whole movies but I stopped it. Then I got out my Russian grammar book and got to work. I already did almost all of my Russian homework on Friday night (don’t judge me… I was actually excited about this new grammatical structure), but I always need to work on my Russian grammar when I have a chance to I finally went back to that Russian grammar book I bought and did a bit on it. I really need to study grammar harder!!!! I guess today was a baby step. Then I called Jenny Hartsell! Yea!! IT was swell! I only had 7 minutes with her but they were great. Kristina called me and we’re gonna meet before the parent meeting. Normally I would go to the intake… but meeting Kristina sounds better to be honest,
I’ve been home alone with Jesus all day (except when Ira talked to me while I was still in bed)! It has been WONDERFUL!! YEA!!!! Yea Jesus! Yea chillin’! Yea for Kristina FINALLY being back! Yea for Russian Grammar!
Yesterday when I called home for Mother’s Day I finally got to talk to my dear Grandmommie! It was nice. She said she wishes I would come home, and I could honestly say me too. I am pretty fatigued when I think about it and I am really excited to get out of Russia for the Summer. I never thought I would say such a thing, and sometimes when I sit on the beach at Ozerki I think that I should never have the need to leave because there are so many relaxing places the Lord has supplied me with. But I would really like to get away from this life I’m living here. It is a great life and all, but I need a break. I am warn out. I would love to be at home with my family and friends and Tybalt and with Tornadoes and all. Today is a testament that despite this wariness, God will always give me the strength, peace, and joy I need to get through and do what He wants. His will is better than mine and, praise God, HE is a loving and compassionate God and will see me through to the end. Gotta go.

WOOHOO~~!

2009-05-04T04:42:00.000-05:00

An Annoyance: I've been logged in to Chacha for like 15 minutes without getting a question.

Praise: I am a Chacha guide!! God has provided me with a meager source of income, regardless how reliable or unreliable, and that is a miracle and an answer to prayer. (and he got me the job even though my computer gave out on during the readiness test)

Praise: I don't have to take the entrance exams to get into the Russian Christian Academy for the Humanities.

Prayer Request/Praise/Announcement: My interview to get into the Psychology department will take place on May 19th at 3 o'clock. PLEASE BE IN PRAYER ABOUT THIS!!! PLEASE!! I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, and I beleive He is calling me to this, but covering all of this in prayer is still a wonderful idea :)

Confusion: I think I am supposed to take some kind of test for each of my classes I am currently taken but I have no clue what sort of test... or when.

PRAISE: IF need be I can move into the dorms here in July AAAAAANNNNDDD It only costs 3000 Rubles a month! WHAT A BLESSING!!! (with current exchange rates that is $91 a month!! In one of the cities with the highest housing costs ever!!)

(still no chacha questions... what is all of America asleep?)

I am at McDonalds right now. Good times.

Praise: My Norton Antivirus is FINALLY up to date.

Praise: The wifi at the school is working on my computer again!!

Praise: Despite what looks in my earthly eyes to be chaos, I know GOD is in control and He is teaching me peace in the turmoil and joy in confusion, and to seek him through everything.

Maybe if Chacha leeps being this sporatic I'll write on the blog more?? :)

Be praying my daddy publishes his book. I really hope he does!!

Got a question. about a nother random person and whether he is dating anyone. I put unknown people as one of my interests and I get most of my questions about them now. they are really obscure and I hope I get faster at answering them. (that could be a prayer request... more questions and faster answers! :) )

I am not really in need of the money right this second or anything. I am still livign off of my bank account (and my parents). I am kinda just considering this a training.

Another question. IT was hard, and it was mislabeled. Oh, well.

Okay, I am gettign questions with regularity now... so I guess I'll go. I love you all!! Be praying for me!!!

heyo

2009-04-28T03:21:00.000-05:00

Hello firends and loved ones! I am sorry I haven't written in so long!!! Ilove you all! I have just been incredibly busy!! I AM SOOOO HAPPPY! Easter was great here!! I'll try to get some pictures of our Easter eggs and whatnot soon. I haven' gotten a prepared blog written so this is just to let you know all is well and that GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME. I am been calling home alot, and I think that is part of why I am not wrting as much... I only have so much time in a day and if I spend my communication with home allotment on a phone call I am usually too sleepy or busy to write a blog. That is no excuse, just a rationalization. Let's see. Paige and I have been watchign movies. School has been school. On Saturday we foreigners went to Pavlovsk. It was incredibly beautiful and I'll try to get those pics on here too sometime. :) The weather has been ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!! Adn cats are out and I like cats. It is like 20 degrees celcius here and thta is liek my perfect weather. IT is even comfortable inthe shade and there is a pleasant breeze. I LOVE IT!!! Adn it is SUNNY!!! There are SOOO many people on the beach at Ozerki over by where the rehab is. The lake is melted too. I've heard that people are swimming in the Neva! HA what fun!

Okay, I had been flipping out abotu stayign and where money is goign to coem from and all that jazz, but this is the new plan and I am really excited abotu it because I think it will work. :) I'm plannign on workign for chacha. haha. I know it sounds silly, but this way it will be like I am workign int he US (legally) and I;ll be makign an income, even if it isn't so good. I'd be paid by the number of questions I answer so the pay is like $3-$9 and hour. I'm anticipating being on the lower end of that spectrum but at least I'll be able to work whenever I am available and we called the Academy's Dorms and found out that I can have internet oin my room. So if the internet isn't crap, I could just work late at night or whenever I have down time or whatever. I dunno ow in depth I've gotten on this blog about my aspirations for the upcomign year, but I very much feel that God is calling me to stay. I am plannign on attendign The Russian Christian Academy for the Humanities ( rxga.ru ). This all very intense and there are so many obstacles. These obstacles have caused me no little crises of faith in the last few weeks, but the LORD is little by little making the road clear and I have full faith that He is will me and will make my paths straight. I HAVE SOO MUCH JOY RIGHT NOW!!! SO HAPPY TOO!! And I am at peace with my Love and my Creator!! Good times!

We saw a play the otherday... I didn't like it really.

Be prayign for me!! I can always use wisdom! BE prayign for my upcomign entrance exams and for my current schooling. Be praying for Rehab and that th eLord would give me a humble servant's heart to better serve there!! :) So much to pray about os just go hogwild! Pray for provision and increased faith and for my family!! Mommy isn't feeling too well, and I know that all of this craziness is hard for my family in general. Be prayign that God gives them peace abotu His path for me and that He confirms it to them... and stuff. Sorry that this is poorly thought out and poorly wirtten, but I gotta go to class now!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Being a Goof

2009-04-16T03:15:00.000-05:00

What wonderous bliss is this!! I’ve got so many wonderful things to say!! :) Luckily I’ve waited for you I’ve waited so long and have so many wonderful, recent memories to recount that I can hardly remember the hardships, let alone the desire to recount them.

Let’s see, I’ll try to say the basics at least. On Sunday we had a festival. I sang Dorogoy Dlinuyu ( A Russian Roman..ce) Any who. I have never successfully sung a solo in public. All of my attempts in high school were PAINFUL. But I gotta say, I rocked this one, praise the Lord. I am not saying it was perfect, no way. But it was a crowd pleaser and had no major goofs and it felt good. :) I like the performing arts people at school. They are very nice and open, lust like performing arts people should be. Now when I see them at the institute they get all excited and always say hello. It is nice. Also, Paige tried to come and watch me but she slept in. It was cool thought because when I was mopey on Saturday I mentioned my desire for Papa John’s and sisnce she missed my gig she said she’d buy at Papa J’s on Monday.

Then I went to church but I was way pooped and not much good to anyone. I probably would have fallen asleep if Kristina hadn’t lovingly chided me in a little note. But it is always nice to be at church. At church Nicolai and some of the Mothers asked me if I would consider and pray about teaching English based on the Gospels for like an hour or 30 minutes before church services. Nicolai has been learning English from The gospel John and sometimes will quote John 1:1 to me. It is endearing. Also he just got a bilingual New Testament. But he showed me his full bible in English on Saturday and it was SO NICE and NASB and red letter and leather and I was admiring and I made a big deal about it being nice and cool and I asked him where he got it (you know we talk up eachother’s nice things in America, I never really thought about it before, but that really is part of our culture)… He asked me if I liked it and I said yes and he gave it to me. That was not my intention at all, but I totally forgot that I need to be careful about that here. I refused as often as I could but he gave it to me anyways. It was an incredibly nice thing to do, and I don’t feel to guilty about the whole thing, which is surprising for how much I guilt myself. I feel a certain peace about it, I guess. But in any account it is an absolute answer to prayer to finally have a full Bible in English. PRAISE GOD. Anyways, so Nicolai also asked me if I have some sort of Audio Bible because he is teaching himself and knows that when he reads he doesn’t always pronounce things correctly, and has no way of knowing when he is doing it right and when he isn’t. I told him that I didn’t have one, but that I’d see what I could do. I found a recording program on my computer and I recorded John chapter 1 yesterday, and gave it to him today :) Okay, back to Sunday! I was so tired and fatigued and almost considered preemptively deciding to skip rehab for the next day and not leave the apt. But I was reminded of the verse that says never tire of doing good, and since the meetings are frequently the highlight of my week, I just was sure to pray for rejuvenation and hope for the best. :)

MONDAY, MONDAY, MONDAY! One of the best days ever. I don’t have school on Monday, so I slept until like 12:30. Then I called Paige to redeem my pizza date. We set a time and I took a shower. We went to Papa Johns and it was splendiferous. The weather was the nicest EVER too. After Pizza we went to the American consulate because I wanted to ask some questions and it is on the same road as Papa J’s.

The process into the Consulate was silly. We had to show our passports, then go in one at a time. One by one, we had to get metal detector wanded, take all electronics out of our bag and turn them off, get our bag searched, go through a specially locked door, go through another metal detector, put our electronics in a cubbie, put our bag through a metal detector, get our bags back and go on in. We met back up on the inside. It was under renovation or something but it was SO small and there was like no one there. The good news is, I can now say that I have peed on American soil in 2009. I was concerned that I might run out of passport pages soon and I thought that would mean I would have to get a new passport. When I asked about the new passport process she explained it, but then when I told her my problem she said I could just get more pages for visa, so I filled out a little form, waited like 20 minutes and got like 2x the original passport pages, and for free at that. It was a load off my mind, and very satisfying. By the way, while in America we didn’t talk to a single American!

When we left, and went for a splendid walk in the nice weather. From there we parted ways and I headed to rehab.

The lesson was great and we had a guest speaker who also os a musician and donated some CDs and played songs for us. He is an ex-addict who had attended one of our Rehab centers. Aleksey spoke again and I really appreciate his lessons. I sat next to Christina’s Mom during the meeting. A guy who was totally Tweeking came in. His name was Dima and I really hope he comes back. Him coming on his own is encouraging. He was mildly destructive but only because he couldn’t hold still and was very chatty. You could tell he was really trying to focus though. Actually, a lot of current addicts came to the parent meeting this week, and we barely had enough room to fit every one (Praise God!). Be praying for them. Most of them didn’t come in today (Wednesday) when we have the question and check in time, so really be praying that God brings them back and gives them the strength to press on and come back and make it to Rehab and find solace and peace and Love.

After the lesson we had tea and what have you, and Aleksey gave me more verses (WHICH WAS AMAZING!!!). One of the Women whose child is an addict but hasn’t yet come into talk to us, her name was Nadezhda, which means hope, talked to me pretty much the whole tea time. She was absolutely delightful and very understanding of the language barrier and my inability to remember the words I was looking for. She was an absolute dear. Be praying for her and her daughter. Then I went to the metro with Kristina and her mom. I had already been talking to God about whether or not I should get the Calla lilies I had been eyeing at the flower shop and if so how many. I had felt at peace about getting 3 and when I realized I was with these wonderful women I realized why I should get three. One for each of us of course! So we went into the metro with our beautiful flowers.

Kristina kept on saying really cute things and she was clearly very happy. I told her these were my favorite flowers and she said Now, they are mine too; they’re tasty! (then she pretended to eat them). Then later she said: They are beautiful, hey they kinda look like you! She is adorable and an absolute dear. Then she asked me to go for a walk with her. We went for a Walk on Nevsky. WE HAD SOOO MUCH FUN. SO MUCH! Seriously I think it is in my top 25 nights ever. We walked around talking and taking in the view and taking pictures of eachother. We talked to artists and the other people on the streets. But we mainly just walked and talked. We talked about almost everything. I felt so at ease, and even though my Russian was probably just as bad as usual, I felt like it was my mother tongue. Speaking to her is just so easy and free flowing. I mean I would not know the words I would wanna say, but I sometimes can’t find the right words in English either and that is just how it felt. We walked and sang hymns and talked about dance, and study, and life, and the Bible, and different theological views, and told stories from our lives, and just had an all around SPLENDID time. When Kristina saw a bums and alcoholics and addicts she would stop and give them rehab’s business card and talk to them. Most of them referred to rehab as “slavery.” I guess their view of rehab is a work camp. That historically makes sense, of course, but caught me off guard. She was an absolute hero and would reason with them and talk to them about how God used the rehab program to change her life. I so long to be able and walk around and talk to people like she did, but my language isn’t there yet and I know it. It was very sweet though, because she said she wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t there because she would’ve been scared. So perhaps we achieved more together than we would’ve/could’ve separately. :) I suppose God does well to use his body and iron sharpens iron and all. We stayed out so late we were almost too late to get in the metro. I only live one stop away so I was fine, but the metro closed when she was still really far from home, poor girl. She called me and told me about it but I didn’t entirely understand what she said. I think she met a girl on the metro who was going to the same part of town as her so they walked… or maybe taxied together… I am not sure which one. I was SPLENDID. IF you get a chance check out the pictures on facebook.

Tuesday went to class and the weather was great again so Paige and I went to Nevsky and I got a new Russian Bible with commentary.  yea! And we walked around and it was swell. We went to Palace square and did one of the best things we’ve ever done. We did all of the Arrested Development Chicken impersonations in the middle of Palace Square (and if you don’t know where that is it is where the Revolution took place and the square inside the Hermitage). BRILL. It was liberating and good fun. We walked more and had a swell time.

Then parted ways and I went to the Academy I am planning on going to next Semester… if God is truly in it, which I do believe He is. I asked them a few questions and then went to Church for our Tuesday service. Delight. I think Aleksey told me he is done with Adaptation, but I unfortunately was destracted and may have accidently blown him off. An old man at church came over and prayed for me and I for him (only I prayed in English… I am sheepish about switching over to Russian prayer… be praying about that). HE was an adorable old man and he was SOO happy when he found out I am American and he prayed for us again and praised God all over the place for the fact that he and I are family in Christ, even though we are from different countries. It was very cute, and encouraging.

Wednesday,Russian class. Computer time. Chillaxing with Paige; bought a Ukrainian CD. Went to rehab. LOVED IT. I had the responsibility of office duty alone because we were short-handed, but no one came in once I was alone. They all came in like 1 hour late or a little early. I know that was from God but I was kinda hoping they’d come so I’d be forced to do it. The only thing is, if I messed up or if they were turned off but the fact that I suck at the language and am hard to understand, that is SERIOUS. It isn’t like working in a office or a restaurant where if you screw up, somebody has cold food or you have to re-copy something, it could be the difference between somebody getting help, or staying of the street. I know that weight is not on me, and that God is with me and will help me with anything and everything He is and may call me to do, but I am relieved today wasn’t the day for me to do it alone (well… alone with God). Then we had Bible study which was nice. I talked more than usual, but only God knows how much was understood, or appropriate. It was man is a three-part being stuff. That is intense stuff. INTENSE and hard to explain. Then Seryozha and I went home. Seryozha calls me Mishka, or little bear, because my big furry coat and today he played this silly little song on hi phone as we were walking that was all 60s and about a Mishka. IT made me laugh hard. On the down side, a cold front came in. this blog took me about 2 hours to write. I need to sleep. I LOVE YOU ALL!!! GOD BLESS YOU! Please let me know what I can be praying for you about! (pictures are chicken impersonations, Papa Johns, Gogol Statue, My church on a Sunday night, good times with Kristina... and other stuff I am sure... I don't remember what I just uploaded.) ... I am trying to upload the video of me singing, but it is takign forever so we'll see if I have time to do it before class.

:)

2009-04-10T01:38:00.001-05:00

Let’s see, what’s new. My phone won’t call Paige right now… IT is confusing but nothing to worry about I am sure. Today I went to both of my classes. Paige didn’t go to the first one. I drew a picture of Cherith and me as my doodle for the day. IT is really hard for me to pay attention in there. I did enjoy the power point about existentialism, though. Yea! My phone is working again. I turned it off and then on again. Then I got online a bit and then Paige met up with me and we went to out next class. That was Literature. I am SOOO glad I took that class with Rutsala. She talked a lot about the books they are talking about. The thing that sucks is the kids are ALWAYS talking and it is yet again really hard to pay attention… and all the names blur in my head. In there was a test today and we BOMBED. BOMBED. BOMBED. IT was horrible. And as we turned it in the teacher talked to us about how we must know more than her kids and stuff because we choose to study it… I tried to say it was so hard in Russian but very interesting. I was trying to sound sophisticated while not getting her hopes up for the test score. I think she is going to be pretty darn disappointed. Oh well, when they read the test score aloud in class next week (and oh, yes, they do that) it might give me the overdose of shame I frequently need to get my butt in gear. Or it might make me cry. Only time will tell. :)
Then Paige and I went to Carls Jr. Good times. Then we wandered around the center of town. It was fun. The sun was out and it was nice weather if you are in the sun but really cold if you were in the shade. We found some benches in the sun and when we got to them we read the sign on them and realized they had wet white paint on them so we sat on the edge of the empty fountain and watched the numerous people approach the benches in hopw only to have them smashed. IT was also fun to watch their stradegies. Some girls sat ont heir purses and then flipped out when the paint got on the purses and spend like 15 minutes pulling out various papers and trying them out. There was a couple where the guy sat down and the gal sat on his lap. HE was shamed as he walked a away with a butt of paint. He couldn’t see it and wanted to see the damage. IT really wasn’t too bad in his case. I saw a bar in the distance called the Korova Bar and I was hoping it was Clockwork Orange themed but it was just cow hide obsessed and swanky. On our walk we ran into Volodya from Church and we were right by his work so he invited us up for tea and coffee. It is this huge real estate place at like the moist prime piece of real estate I think I have ever been in. He said the room we were in when we drank tea was the Tchaikovsky room. I guess it was where he lived. And it had a beautiful view of one of the most well-known bridges in St. Pete. Very nice. We talked all about all sorts of things including the economic crisis, real estate in Russia today, Easter, my future plans, etc. Then he walked us out and we went on our merry way.

Then Paige and I enjoyed the sun for a while longer and window shopped some more and then we went to the metro and parted ways. IT was good times. I headed straight to Ozerki even though I had plenty of time. I went to Okay, the supermarket, and bought some pantyhose to wear for the festival. Then I went to KFC and didn’t get anything but sat down and read revelations and worked more on the little at home section part of the devotional. Then I headed to church. We sing a song, break out into groups and discuss the lesson, then meet back up and sing another song and listen to a sermon. The songs we sang today I liked very much. I don’t remember the name of the first one but the second one was “There is none like you.” This was just about the first week that I contributed to the discussion. Before I was either not prepared or … well, mostly not prepared. The lesson is over Revelations. Not my favorite book of the Bible, in fact it is probably my least favorite. But the entire Bible is Good, Holy, and useful and I should learn it all. Plus there is such comfort just being with believers, and it is where I met Masha, although she hasn’t been around for a while. Anyways it was nice.
Today was Seryozha’s last day at rehab. He had been living there I guess as the leader. I never was quite sure whether he was living there or not until like a week ago, but as of today he doesn’t live there. So, he and I walked/metroed home together like his mom and I do. We talked about food, cooking, things I miss from America, and Psychology and whether it is any good at all. It seems no one is very keen on psychologists here. Seryozha wasn’t antagonistic, just perhaps not completely informed and understandably wary. Plus he does have a good point in saying psychology can’t offer a 100 fail proof way out of drugs and he has never met a single person who became and stayed drug free with psychological help. I think that is the general picture here. I tried to explain my view on psychology and again tried to explain that psychology and Jesus aren’t enemies and they can work beautifully together. It is so strange to me when people can’t seem to imagine a world where there is a God who works through science. We can observe and analyze the way God’s creation works… isn’t that pretty much science, from creationist point of view? Yes I am simplifying matters, but whatever. I’m sleepy.
Okay, Night Night.

Love and Jesus

2009-04-08T06:10:00.000-05:00

HEyo! I should go to bed soon, but I haven’t written in so long I know I need to. It seems last time I took a sabbatical people forgot to get back into it, so I’ll try to be consistent so you can make me part of your regular habit! :)
The other day when Paige and I were watching 28 Days Later (which I bought yea!) she said a little piece of gold: “It would suck to be in the stair-car during the Zombie invasion… SO many hop-ons.” Isn’t that GOLD? Ah! If you don’t know what this a a reference go to your local movie place (preferably Hastings) and get yourself some Arrested Development (for sale or rent)! ASAP! Good times.
Today Paige and I went to our first class and then went and saw He’s just not that into you at the dinner and a movie place called Jam Club or something equally silly. IT was nice. We haven’t gone out for a movie in a relatively long time and it is a very soothing process for me. :) Then I went to Church. But I was WAY early and so I did some wandering first. I had never gone to the Tuesday service at the Ozerki church before. I didn’t even really know what time it started or what it would be like… But on Saturday (or maybe it was Sunday) Kristina said that she wanted to go to church more and asked me about church services (it isn’t like she goes infrequently though… She goes like 3 or 4 times a week). I knew there was a service on Tuesday but I didn’t know anything else about it. So we decided we’d go together. But when I got to Ozerki (like 30 minutes early) I called her and she said … well I don’t know but I think she wasn’t feeling to hot so she wasn’t coming. I went. I thought it started at 18:00 but there was like no one there so I sat in the most invisible spot I could find (it was behind a column) and just prayed and enjoyed God and read the Bible. I had hoped to go by unnoticed, but at like 18:30 Nicolai saw me and came over and asked me to help him with his English and he read the beginning verses of John to me in English. He said he had been in Finland the day before (which blew my mind because I saw him both on Sunday and Monday… I guess that was a quick trip) and they’d taught him some English. He has pretty good at what he had learned and he translated it into Russian to prove he understood. Cool, cool. Then I prayed for another 30 minutes. Then the service started at 19:00 and I heard laughing behind me only to see the rest of the brothers there just realizing I was in front of them. I guess I am not very good at being inconspicuous. The service was nice. Today is a Holiday and as far as I can tell it celebrates Jesus’s conception…. I don’t really know… but we read Luke 1:26-56 and the young people’s choir sang wonderful songs perfectly relating to the verses. One of my lampposts: Luke 1:45 is in there and it was so good to here it. I also am really engrossed with the fast that I am a slave to the Lord and Mary calls herself the Lord’s slave in verse 38 so I learned the correct female word for slave and wrote “Lord’s slave on my wrist.” I didn’t think much of it at the time although I thought I heard the men make some noise behind me but when the service was over Pyotr made me show him my wrist and laughed. I guess they were watching me like the whole time. I should’ve known and I was kind of conscious of it but I tried to shut it out. The service was swell and GOD IS GREAT. Kristina called me later to ask about it and asked if she could load me a DVD. I LOVE HER.
I had some down days emotionally pretty much from Thursday night until half way through the night service on Sunday. Various people commented on it. I guess I am usually so overly jubilant here I can’t even pass by without dancing or laughing randomly without people noticing. Saturday night at “choir” practice (there it 4 of us) Nicolai was like “Do you know Jesus Loves you?” and I said yes and then he pretty much told me that I should be happy then. It was sweet. He later commented on my “depression. ” that same night during bible study Aleksey twice told me not to cry. I thought I was passing for moderate emotion… but I guess not. Later Kristina was kinda asking what was up and she got the whole lot of it including tears and everything while she and I were heading home together and waiting at the bus stop. She is so sweet and compassionate. I think she is very wise too, but I can’t say I understand all of her advice unfortunately. I LOVE HER. It was extra sucky to be sulky because when I went to rehab on Friday night it was just me and the Ukrainian dude and so he played a recording of a sermon he had while we were waiting for potential intakes. The Sermon was given by an American Southern Baptist from Billy Graham’s group or something and so it was in English with Ukrainian translation. It was about joy. Haha, I guess I didn’t get the hint until Sunday when I finally asked God what was wrong with me. He said it was guilt and when I asked if it was righteous guilt HE said no. I do that sometimes. Hold on to guilt for things God has already forgiven myself and my massive guilt trips are crippling. I surrendered it to HIM and he took it from me and filled me wonderous joy! I’ve pretty much been walking on air since then :) Praise God.
Monday was SO GOOD I cannot even begin to describe it! TRULY JUST KNOW IT WAS AN INCREDIBLE BLESSING FROM GOD! I grew so much closer to Kristina and God answered the prayers I prayed for throughout the day with HUGE AFFIRMATIVES and he enabled me to finish the translations for the websites. And HE was AMAZIGN AND WODNERFUL! And AH!! Beyond description! I dunno, it you want more details make me call you so I can tell you, cause I can’t write it all.
Bu speaking of the website, I HIGHLY encourage you all to check it out!!! PLEASE!!! Valery has been really beefing it up lately and plus there is a little testimonial of mine on there and a bunch of the stuff was translated by me. :) CHECK IT OUT!!!
Go to:
narcostop.org
Click on the British flag for English and look around. That is the organization I am with a lot and volunteer at. I very highly endorse the group so if the Lord compels you to contact them or donate or if you plan on going to Russia and want to visit them, DO IT! They are way cool and it is wonderful to see the way God works through their program.

Most pleasant

2009-03-31T08:11:00.001-06:00

Most pleasant
I think I shall write this completely haphazardly. Today on the way to church I saw Maxim parked in the church’s big white van on the side of the road beside the forest. He so I came over and he told me to get in because he was talking people over to the church so the Babushka’s wouldn’t fall and die on the way. I got in and he mentioned that I was late and I said “like always” which he laughed at. He is a very jovial fellow, but I think he may be more jovial than usual… I dunno though. We waived down a bunch of old ladies and went to church. He made basic comments and then laughed like they were jokes so I laughed too. I appreciate joviality.
Dearest Masha had called me to wake me up, and I was already up and ready. I don’t know what it is about morning church, but I never can get to it in time. Everyone always asks me if I will sit in the balcony because I guess that is where everyone sits, but there are 3 different balconies so I was at a loss for which one they meant. I opted for the farthest back balcony as opposed to the left or right balcony, but once I got there I was aware it wasn’t the cool kids balcony but the older folks balcony. No big. After church I beat it, but not before Aleksey stopped by and said “Hi” literally. HE never spoke in English to me until now, and when the guys go into their English conversations he usually playfully chides them and says that if they keep speaking a foreign language he is just gonna speak Ukrainian. Oh, yeah, they do that. They’ll have like 5 minute straight of only talking in English to each other (or at least trying to). They say it is to make sure I don’t miss home, but I sometimes think they are trying to impress me. IT is endearing though. I love my menfolk here. Seriously, they make me very happy and generally relaxed (except when I am not sure if I am breaking a social norm by hanging with them all the time, but I am getting better at picking up on cues from Seryozha or Dima when I need to back off… at least I think I am).Then Paige and I did our ritual Pizza and Pasta.com. good times.
Then I went to church. Now, night church is the one I can’t be late to even if I try. I was supposed to be there about an hour early to practice singing (which really means get there 45 minutes or so early because Russia time is kind lagged), and I got there like an hour and 15 minutes early. It was snowing really wet snow so I decided to try to get in. Right when I got to the door it was swinging shut and I grabbed it just in time. Then I tried buzzing the room. To my suprize they let me in. When I got in there was a girl I’d never seen before. I said a greeting and put my coat on the hook she was confused as to why I was making myself to cozy and asked who I was there to see. I told her I was with the Church and she said that It was all clear then asked me about the times we meet and I told her. Then she went to some back room and disappeared… forever as far as I know.
About 20 minutes later my men come in. they had the keys and so were incredibly confused at what I am doing sitting in a room that is protected by 3 levels of security. I tried to explain it an dI know I got the point across, but I don’t like speaking much when I first enter a Russian social occasion. IT is like I like to get acclimated to thinking in Russian and to the way everyone is talking before I jump in so this immediate interrogation threw off my groove a bit, but not too long. Then in short time they were laughing and joking and asking why I didn’t sit with them at church and where I was sitting etc. My groove was still thrown off and I didn’t feel like admitting I tried to sit with them but failed because as usual I didn’t really know what I was supposed to do so I did a lot of shrugging and told them I was late to church. Dima told(in Russian), “We know. Late like always. We know everything, Deah.” Haha. That really cracked me up. I mean I guess I knew they must talk about me because I am something of an anomaly (a girl, the youngest person around, an American, and an all around strange person) and I see them about 7 times a week, but I just think it is funny that they had all talked about me being late to church like they are keeping tabs on me. I told them I was in the last Balcony and they told me they were in the left one, and I said I’d sit with them next time. They found this answer generally unsatisfactory because next time was a week away, but it was the only answer I had, so they’ll just have to live with it. I really was so glad when they all came in. My dear menfolk.
I had door duty while Aleksey and Sergey practiced their song, and Aleksey had door duty while I practiced singing with the gang. I sang a solo today. It was my first full song solo. I sang this weird song first in English then in Russian. I got all the words and everything, but the overall sound quality was below par as far as I am concerned. No one let on though. When the song was over they all joyously thanked me and praised God. They are so encouraging. Nicolai played the guitar for the song. The service was about faith and I found it personally quite encouraging and fruitful. After the service the fellows asked me if I was going to go with them in the van to Ozerki (which I’ve done last 2 times, from Ozerki I take the metro… it is slightly faster and cheaper then tramming and metroing) but I had already told Kristina and Raisa Semyonovna that I would go with them by bus. The men seemed disappointed and surprised. I road with the ladies home and it was pleasant, although I got a bit roadsick.
Friday we had the fieldtrip to the Hermitage, but just the area that was done to show how Peter lived. It was pretty uneventful. Then Paige and Helene and I went to KFC then Paige and I went to her place. Paige let me use her interwebs and I cut her hair. Ha, that made it sound like it was a trade. They were unrelated.
Normally I go to rehab on Friday nights, but Kristina called me and told me to go to Olga’s for Choir practice. I’m slotted to be at rehab from 6-7 (but if I can get away with it I stay longer) and the choir practice was on the other side of time at 7. I texted Seryozha and told him I wouldn’t be making it. At Olga’s there was a very pretty sunset outside of her 6th story window. I only took a picture with my camera phone so it is poor quality. The practice was fun and pleasant I love those people, but it really is a shame I didn’t make it to rehab.
Saturday slept in, hand washed my white wondrous sweater, and met up with Paige at Idealnaya Chashka (a café) before Church. Then I went to Wonderful Church and was delighted and refreshed, as per usual. I road with the boys to Ozerki and has a nice chat with Aleksey about the ways God speaks to us. That seems to be a major theme of my life right now the way God communicates with us directly and interferences with that and or Evil’s attempts to hinder it or trick us. I like the subject and it is very near and dear to my heart to this is a pleasant season all in all. I am learning to Trust in God a lot more and He is really encouraging me in that area. He also keeps putting people in my path that seem to have interestingly intimate relationships with God. I love it. :)

Still on a wonderful Jesus high so bear with me as I no doubt exude exuberance. Today is Monday. I slept in today because I don’t have any classes or anything. Paige wanted to go shopping, but I slept too late so it didn’t happen. IT was a GREAT day though. I stuck around in bed until like 2. I would wake up and roll around cozily and pray myself back to sleep in bliss. I did have one terrible experience with a nightmare and some rebuking was in order, but that was early in the night, and after that it was all wonderful!! :)
Then I peed and ate and had like the longest shower ever. And put on too much makeup (including liquid eyeliner) and clothes that I look alright in. I stopped by a knock-off teremok stand and got a coke and something cheap and yummy to eat and went to Rehab, one of the most delightful places in all of the earth.
A while back when Nicolai asked me if I was staying late or not and I told him I would be there as long as they said I could we jokingly said I could live there. He shouldn’t have joked about that. I would live there in a heartbeat. Seryozha seemed to be concerned about where he would live if I lived there, but Nicolai didn’t seemed too concerned with it. I had half a mind to take him up on the offer on the off chance that he was half serious. Anyways, at rehab I cut out the pull-tabs on more flyers (I need to get better about pasting them more frequently!). Only one new guy came in. And one mom came in who has been going to church and the meetings and she was supposed to meet her son there but he didn’t show up. It was very sad. She is such a sweet woman and she took it in beautiful stride but I know how much it hurts when someone lets you down and you could see the sorrow behind her eyes.
Then in short time we had the parents meeting which was wonderful. Peter Petrovich and I shared a hymnal and when Kristina came we shared with her and when this young girl came we shared with her too. It felt very cute. Everyone else had their own hymnal and we 4 were sharing. Peter Petrovich gave his testimony which was absolutely beautiful. He is an “adaptant” and I’ve known him for about a month now. He mutters A LOT and it is hard for me to understand him but he is incredibly good hearted and pretty raw and down to earth. I’d say he is in his 50s… but who knows I am bad at that stuff and it is hard to really guess an alcohol or addict’s age anyways.
After the lesson we had tea as usual. God had given me a message to give Aleksey so I gave it to him and he had Slava read it and they both seemed pretty happy about it I guess so that is good. This is the first time God gave me a message to give someone in Russian! That was exciting and when I told Aleksey that God told it to me in Russian he was just as excited about it as I am (but that may be because he’s had to endure my translations before, haha). IT is SOOO good when your brothers and sisters share in your joy! Last week, as I said, I had some issues with reading and so today Aleksey advised me to read slower. He said(in Russian) “I know you want to read fast and well like everyone else but read slow enough that you understand what you are reading. No one is going to mind or saying anything to you for reading slow.” I just kept saying “Mmmhmmm” While he talked to me about it because it rang true but he could tell I felt kinda ashamed I think so he went on about how if he were reading English It would be hard for him too. That was a sweet touch. I love Kristina. I love her SOO much. She is SO sweet and so spunky. I was glad I got to sit by her today. Let’s see what else? Oh, Seryozha and Aleksey sang together today and they did on Sunday too. I like it when they sing together. Dima wasn’t there for the meeting but he came after just to drink tea. He always makes me laugh.
Oh, I forgot to say! You know I always come to rehab at 6 for the intake and the parent meeting is at 7. Well Mikhail saw me walk up at 6 and I guess he didn’t know I come in for intakes so he said the equivalent of “wow, you’re here early.” And I said “I usually am here this early” and he said “I thought you were usually late” and I said “No, I’m only late in the morning.” And he said “Ah, you like sleep.” And then I went in. But I just thought it was funny that again they spread word around about that one conversation yesterday with Maxim when I said I was late. My men, I think I’ll keep them.
Also, guys keep giving me candy. I mean we eat candy at almost every tea-time so it isn’t a big deal, but it is still an almost daily thing (today it happened twice in a 5 minute period). I always try to refuse but then they are convinced I don’t like sweets or am on a diet and when I say I just don’t want it now they tell me to put it in my purse. It is usually pretty tasty though. :)
Nonna keeps making sushi. She is really good at it. She made some last night at like midnight and made some tonight too. It is yummy. I am the only one that doesn’t eat it with wasabi so for me it is like dinner and a show. Everyone’s face turns red and contorts and what not. I don’t know if they exactly like that I laugh all meal but they don’t seem to mind.

A Bit of Rest

2009-03-27T07:14:00.001-06:00

I didn’t go to school this morning. I woke up, kinda hoping I had slept in, but I hadn’t. I told myself and God right before I looked at the clock that I’d get up if it was before 7:30. It was 7:27. Bummer. I got up and showered, ate, read the bible, put on make-up and was completely ready. Then my stummy started hurting. It was a lower abdomen pain, the kind that might go away in few minutes, but may be foreboding multiple, painful, and/or urgent trips to the restroom. I weighed out whether to tough it out or not and ended up deciding it wasn’t worth the risk. It sucks that it happened for the private Russian lesson, but I didn’t want to be stuck 20 minutes into my 40 minute walk to school feeling like my intestines are exploding. So texted the teacher, Inma, and Paige to let them all know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be in school. Inma said she had a stomach ache and wouldn’t be coming in either, and Paige said she’d just decided to sleep in, and the teacher told me to get well soon. So I watched the 30 rock and House episodes Paige had just given me, and then watched like 3 Arrested developments and took a nap. By 10 I was completely fine and realized it had been a false alarm, but maybe my taking it easy helped, and lord know I could use a mental health day. Then I met Paige at like 3 and we had lunch over by the consulate (which I have yet to go to btw, I feel like I should… I just can’t figure out why I should or what I might possibly need to do there). Then I went to Rehab. I gotta say my brain was mush today. I couldn’t even read the Bible verses when we went around the circle and split of the verses as usual. On my last verse I just gave up butchering the poor language and refused to read further. IT was pathetic and demoralizing. I also didn’t contribute anything to the lesson this time, which was disappointing because last week I really felt like I was contributing and had hoped it would be the changing of the tides for me. We all have off days I guess, and I think we are more apt to have them when operating almost full time in a foreign language that is drastically different from our mother tongue. I was relatively demoralized, but I asked for the scripture again from Aleksey and he was kind enough to write it for me (2 times… sort of, he wrote it down and left but RAN back like 2 minutes later telling me he had reversed the numbers and by that time I had all but lost the first thing he gave me to he had to write it on a different piece of paper and everything). I have been dying for some calla lilies lately and so I bought 3 on the way home. Ha, when I ate with Paige I told her that I’d been hoping to buy some for myself for over a week now because I see them at the metro station on the way form rehab almost everyday, but that people keep on walking to the metro station with me and I don’t wanna buy flowers for myself with some kind church goer I barely know so I always tell myself I’ll get some next time. Buying flowers for yourself feels kinda silly if you do it in front of someone who knows what you are doing. I told Paige I hope that they will drive me to the Metro station so I don’t have to walk in the slick woods and then that from there I am alone so I can buy the flowers in peace. That is exactly what happened, praise God! It was swell. I like them a lot. So I came home and Nonna asked me about my day and I tried to tell her about it, but she said she couldn’t understand me and that I should tell her in English. I am pretty that is the first time she has ever said that to me in my whole life (except when I haphazardly try to translate movie titles mid-conversation). I told her I haven’t been able to communicate all day and she said I might just need a one day break from Russian. That sounded like a pretty sound thing to say. So we talked in English from there on out. That was our first English convo we’ve had here that lasted more than 3 sentences. Then I came into my room and looked up that verse. It was like a double edged sword. It was beyond awesome and it blew my mind. Aleksey is like a freaking prophet or something because there is no way he could’ve just known that I needed that verse. I didn’t even know I needed that verse. Way to be, kid, and THANK YOU JESUS for sending that my way! I journaled and prayed until I got called to dinner of fish, cucumber, and potatoes. I never liked fish really ever in my life, except for granddaddy’s catfish (and I think I liked them more for the memory than anything), but Elena Borisovna prepares her fish very nicely and I am really starting to warm up to it. I think fish is an acquired taste and I’ve never had the reason to acquire it before. Right now Elena Borisovna and Nonna are fasting for Lent. I am very glad I took that Russian Orthodox Christianity class before I got here because I figured out they were fasting before they even told me. :) The orthodox fasts are pretty intense and they don’t eat meat (aside from fish) for the whole of Lent, as I understand it. Elena Borisovna keeps having me practice a song for a festival that is like April 10 or 11th or something. It is almost terrifying, but from what I hear, you are only young once.

Oh, and I finished Catcher in the Rye last night. I wolfed it down in like 5 days on top of a pretty busy schedule.

Okay this is now Thursday evening. I haven’t uploaded this because I quite shamelessly slept in today and thus didn’t go to the institute at a time suitable for internet use. I didn’t even care that I slept in. I know I can afford the absences, I figured it out a couple days ago, and this morning it was a stressless rest of refreshment. Delightful. I laid around and slept all morning. Delight of delights. And Paige slept in and slipped too. She called me at like 10 and said she was sleeping in and I told her I was still in bed and it looked like I was too. She said that she appreciates our cross-city, psychic connection and is glad we are on the same page. Late she called and asked me to meet her so I could run errands with her. I got ready for the day and spent some time with Jesus and then left to meet her. We met up and I was hungry so we went to KFC. I cannot describe how good it was. IT was our first time there in Russia, and undoubtedly not out last. We did our errands and did a bit of shopping. Paige got an ADORABLE purse and a cute Hello Kitty wallet. They were each shockingly cheap. Then we went to the institute because Elena Borisovna wanted me to watch their “spectacle” and then practice my song and Paige needed to give them photos for their visa. And I watched the show which was just a dress rehersal I guess and it was Anton Chekov’s A Wedding Proposal which I directed at Memorial way back when (but I did it in English of course). It was nice to see it. Then I was forced to practice in front of them like 3 times. I still don’t have the words down. It is annoying. Then I went to the BibleStudy over Revelations. That was nice. I love my rehab boys! They attend too but they are in their own group and I am in a women’s group. Afterwards Dima and Mihail came up and talked to me. Okay, when I first got here I really felt like Dima reminds me of Karl Dowell, and he still does but now he is evolving into his own person in my head and not just my Karl Dowell replacement. Anyways yesterday Dima had commented on how I always stand in a ballet position and asked me if I ever did ballet. I told him yes and he said he did too. We swapped ballet terminology and stuff for a while. It sounds like he was pretty serious about it before he was an addict. Oh, and he also always sings various old school American songs everytime I see him and the one I get the biggest kick out of it “Ice, Ice Baby.” So, after the Bible Study when Dima and Mihail came up Dima again commented on the fact I was standing in 1st position and then said he had something to tell me but he forgot because he thought he wouldn’t see me until tomorrow. Then Mihail sang “Ice, Ice Chicken” which totally cracked me up beyond all reason. Dima explained that they had made up this new version called “Ice, Ice Chicken” and Mihail sang it a little more but as far as I can tell the only words are “Ice Ice Chicken to go.” I love it. I am imagining that Dima and Mihail made it up while transporting or cooking a frozen chicken, but that is just a guess.
Oh, I guess I didn’t tell you last week cause I wasn’t writing! Well, last week at this Bible Study I met a few girls in their 20s. 2 of them are named Masha and I forget the rest of their names. They were very nice and we walked to the metro together afterwards talking about what have you. Anyways the Masha, the one that is in my group for the Bible study, was there again. We started talking about all the strange ways God communicates to us and has throughout our lives and it was really cool. She asked me why I wasn’t at church on Sunday and when I told her I slept in again she said she’d call me Sunday morning to wake me up. Hehe. That made me happy. We talked non-stop all the way home. Oh, I am pretty sure I was supposed to tell Aleksey something at Church today, but I was passive and didn’t. Naughty me. Hopefully I ‘ll tell him tomorrow or Saturday. Oh, also, yesterday when Seryozha was talking to a heroin addict who was coming in for the first time and the heroin addict’s mom the mom asked about fasting (because it is lent). I am passionate about fasts and their importance (although I am a lazy bones and probably don’t fast nearly enough), and since we are protestant I was totally expecting Seryozha to say something I would totally disagree with in my heart. But no. He hit a homerun. He didn’t downplay the importance of fasts he just said that our church doesn’t fast for lent but that we encourage fasts, but tend to do them as individually compelled by God. So that was nice. I am so used to going to a church that I frequently disagree with theologically and it is SOOOOOO nice being at one that I have yet to find anything to tiff about. I mean, the language barrier may be helping that since I may have something to disagree about without understanding that I do, but still, it is wonderful. It helps me trust my church and my brothers wonderfully, which is good because I really need the tight fellowship and I rely on them a lot. I love this church and I love these people! PRAISE JESUS! I think I am going to try again to read Mere Christianity, so if you are reading this Aaron Wright you should message me. OH! And class is cancelled for tomorrow and we are going on a little excursion instead, so that means I’ve got a 6 day weekend since I don’t have class on Mondays and I didn’t go today or yesterday. And let me tell ya this little vaca was much needed and appreciated!!  Thanks, Jesus!

I’ve been reading the Catcher in the Rye and I think it slightly affected my writing style on this one.

2009-03-24T02:16:00.000-06:00

Today at the Rehab’s Parent’s meeting I was really sad for a bit. I may have even shed two tears. I did it all very discretely of course, but Aleksey noticed. He was sitting pretty far away too, so I was either less discrete than I assumed I was or he is really just that in tune. After the meeting when I was scurrying around to get the tea and biscuits ready he pulled me aside and told me that he is not a prophet or anything but that he saw that I was getting sad and he didn’t know why and he wanted to give me this Bible verse. He also gave me a little Christian flyer thing that everyone was handing to each other. It really made me really excited to go home and pray and look up the verse. I was really in the mood to be encouraged, if you know what I mean. Aleksey is from Ukraine and an ex-alcoholic (yes I know, once an alcoholic always one but I can say what I want). Anyways, he is a really cool guy and God has told me some wonderful things about him, but he and I only talk when we give each other verses or stuff form the Lord, and otherwise the language barrier is way strong. Even the Russians every now and then ask him to repeat himself “but in Russian” because he resorts to Ukrainian quite frequently. He is finishing his adaptation soon so be in prayer for him as he seeks God’s will in where to live and what to do when he gets out. :) Anyways instead of talking the van with him and Maxim to the metro I walked with Seryozha’s mom and Galina Simionovna (I think that is her name). The stopped in the bathroom first to I went too. Seryozha’s mom and I walked and talked home from the metro. She is a wonderful woman. Be praying for her. She said she has a surgery next weekend. Please do be in prayer. But she seems to be an eternal optimist. It is some sort of woman’s surgery, so take that as you will. When she told me about it I told her my mom used to have cancer but now she doesn’t, Praise God. She kept saying how so many others have it worse than her and said she is so glad that she only has her problems and not the ones that other people have, like cancer, or husbands dying in car crashes, etc. This is coming from a woman with failing health and 2 heroine addicted sons (although praise God one, Seryozha is sober and the other is in rehab). Still, you have to admire that kind of humble trust and optimism. At least I admire it. When I got home I was SOOOOO excited about reading that scripture. I reached in my back pocket only to find air. I cannot say how disappointing that was. I knew I had put it in my back pocket, but I searched all of my belongings anyways. Then I thought maybe I lost it on the street, so I went out on the street and retraced my steps all the way to the metro. I picked up so many crumby pieces of paper it wasn’t even funny. And I know I looked crazy, but I just kept looking. It was kinda nice though. I haven’t been praying and relying on God as much as I should lately and the search was pretty rife with conversation with God, even if it was mostly me whining and moaning about how I was looking forward to reading it and wondering why God let me lose it. I never found it (big surprise). I think it must have fallen out of my stupid pocket when I went pee. I didn’t even have to go pee. But God works all things (even little silly ones) for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28) and I did get to have a pleasant convo with God and I can always ask Aleksey for the scripture on Wednesday, plus I got a little more exercise for the day :) I was thumbing through Matthew because I am pretty sure that it was from Matthew (but it could have been from Mark) and I ran across Matthew 5:4,8 and those are good enough for me. You can’t go wrong with the beatitudes.
Before the meeting Nicolai had me practice this song I had never heard before. It is pretty simplistic and I believe not to well-written, but they like it when I sing it in English even though they feel the same way about the song in its Russian version. They weren’t gonna have anyone even sing it in Russian after me but I said if I just sing in English and no one translates it is almost the same thing as me going up and speaking in tongues without a translator- who does it benefit? Well, I didn’t say it that well, but I stumbled over a few words until they said it for me. They are pretty good about that. So I practiced the Russian version a bit but it is a mouthful.
On Sunday Nicolai and I sang a duet of “there is none like you.” We were introduced as “An International Duet.” Everyone said it is better when I sing with Nicolai than when I sing with Seryozha. Poor Seryozha. I sang the first verse in English then we sang the 2nd and 3rd verses in Russian and then we sang the bridge in Russian. Then the brothers from the Adaptation Center sang a wonderful song that really made my heart sing. But the ending was sloppy, admittedly and they were crazy embarrassed about it. I don’t know much about music but their’s was my favorite song all night and there they were feeling like crap about it. They even started out being self-conscious stating in their introduction that they shouldn’t be expected to have as much musical talent as was in the international duet. Oh, if they only knew how almost nobody but my mom and dad think I have a good voice in America. I try to tell them so when they go on a bit too much, but they always seem offended that someone would think my voice isn’t amazing and they tell me to tell the Americans that *insert their name here* says I have a great voice. IT is cute. I get a lot of encouragement here, but being the weakling and spiritual-lightweight I always seem to be I always could use more, so it is nice to be in such a loving environment. God has always been very gracious to always put me with loving and encouraging people. I can never say I am unloved, and that is a HUGE blessing.
Elena (my house mom) wants me to sing at some festival in April so yesterday we practiced a little bit after church.
I can’t believe today is only Monday.

Moribund

2009-03-23T05:53:00.000-06:00

I saw a dead man today. He was laying face down on the pavement with his arm reaching out over his head, his thin, yellow, wrinkled hand protruding from the cuff of his shirt. I just turned the corner and there he was. I was on autopilot so I kept walking and had to back-track to avoid him and the police and ambulance. They didn’t move him and there was no caution tape and no warning.
Later Paige had to undergo the same shock I did, even though I tried to warn her.
Also there was like a crazy blizzard with Oklahoma-like winds after a day of warm weather. I was wearing flats and was entirely unprepared. A day in the life I suppose.

That was from... Friday. Not the best day ever but things are looking up. Sorry to not have posted for so long and then to post this less than encouraging bit of info, but ya gotta start somewhere.

You haven’t lived in St. Petersburg until you’ve moshed with a Babushka.

2009-03-10T03:15:00.000-06:00

I haven’t written in a long time and I really don’t feel like playing this serious a game of catch up. The title of this post is something I said long ago but I don’t thing I ever typed to you all. The metro gets crazy crowded during rush hour (go figure). And everyone lining up at the doors near Petrogradskaya make a decent mosh pit as I like to call it. You all get slammed up against each other and have little say in which direction you would like to go, so if you want to get into that door, and I mean really want it you need to either push or brace yourself against the crowd trying to reach that same goal. IT is delightful. I always feel sorry of the very young and the very old who are in the crowd and I hate being slammed against them because then I feel I must try to protect them from the surge and must for the most part give up my selfish goal of getting in the metro asap. I usually go to rehab during rush hour.
Today (Monday) there was no school because yesterday was women’s day. That would be exciting except I don’t have class on Monday and the place I wanted to go was closed for women’s day. But for women’s day I got Apple soap from Nonna and Elena, a candy bar from Nicolai, a magnetic bookmark from Lubov (I forgot her ochestva), and a dolphin-shaped banana-scented soap from Sergey. I think I made out pretty well, although I didn’t get any flowers, which is kinda surprising because everyone and there dog had flowers all week. I did give flowers though to Nonna and Elena. Good times.
Let’s see. Thursday I sang in Big church with Sergey (just so everyone knows this is the guy in the pics and he will be called seryozha, sergey, and/or seryoga). There were like 60 people there and we sang in microphones and stuff. I sang the solo of “My Jesus, My Savior” in English and then Seryozha and I sang it together in Russian and he played guitar throughout. Everyone seemed to really enjoy it and on Friday Seryozha told me that they want me to sing more and that everyone loved me… and that no one complemented him. Aw, poor guy. I told him that the next time I sing in English he has to too. He tried to talk his way out of if but I told him I am a good teacher. Then he asked which song and I said whichever he wanted and he said “Ti omoy Menya” (which is one of my favorites EVER) and I said there is no English translation for it and he said I better translate it. …So I did. I gave it to him on Sunday and we practiced it today. I told him we better sing it on Sunday and he said “Maybe” in English.
Friday day I really don’t remember what I did… hmm… oh, I had Russian class and then Paige and I hung out and I used the internet a lot and began a preliminary job search, then Paige and I ate at Nyamburg which is a yummy and pretty cheap café near Chkalovskaya. :) OH, today when I went for a walk I found a Chinese play on Chakolovskaya! I pass it everyday but the sign is really high up and I guess I never saw it. I am sure I’ll go some time soon. …Friday… Then I went to rehab and we worked and hung out and I went home. Then on Saturday I slept in and then Met up with Paige and we trekked over to the Okkervil River. IT is way close to where she lives and exactly between where she lives and the metro I go to for church. so we headed that way from her metro. The sun was out and it was a beautiful day. Then we went shopping… but more like window shopping except going in. Then we ate at McDonalds and couldn’t find a seat for like 8 minutes so a worker came over and asked if we needed a seat and when we said yes she walked over to some girls and asked if we could sit with them and we did… It was awkward. I wasn’t in the mood for McyD’s anyways but we didn’t want to trek to some unknown location looking for decent grub. Then I went to our little Church Bible study. Then I went home. Then on Sunday I was late for church. I mean like 20-30 minutes late and I figured since it was big church nobody would notice but as I was entering the gate from the woods to the street by the church Sergey was leaving and greeted me and told me I should sit in the balcony. A)what are the odds of being there exactly when he is. B) caught. Then later that day another guy told me he say me in church that morning too. Oh, speaking of getting caught. I am always really early or really late. For rehab and church I would say I am usually really early. On Saturday I was like 30 minutes early so I snuck in the building as usual and then was like “I don’t wanna wait in this shady stairway again” so I left the building and went for a walk jovially listening to hard rock and traversing through rickety Russian open air markets. When I returned I stood a ways off and at a candy bar, then I say the van of rehabbers pull up so I sauntered over making it to the door right when they did. On Friday Sergey told me I am like a clock, and I told him he was way wrong, but when we came up at the same time it was as if his statement had been confirmed. Ha, and when I went inside one of the mothers said “You came here a lot earlier didn’t you? I tried to run to you but you left already.” I thought it was funny.
And then on Sunday night I came early to practice the songs we were gonna sing. I let some people in (we have a weird security door) and Sergey was one of them and he was like “Deah is EVERYWHERE” which was kinda what I was thinking that day about him… al catching me being late and all.
Oh, I talked to OU and I got my loan stuff sorted out they said. They said I should get the money that has been sitting in my OU account to my bank this week. Yea Jesus!!
Today I went shopping alone with Jesus and we bought a spring coat since it has been warming up and I’ve been sweltering in my winter coats. I like it a bunch. I tested it out today because I wasn’t sure if it was too light. I think it did pretty well, but the Russian were appalled. Sergey in particular talked to me for like 7 minutes about how I should wear more layers despite my “Warm Oklahoman blood.” But the babushkas had a similar reaction. They all love me. Now when I enter a room they all greet me so warming and today as I left it was like a chorus of “Go with God” and on guy called my sestrichka which is diminutive and I like to think of it as “darling sister.” It all makes me very happy. IT saddens me to think I don’t know if anything is going on there tomorrow for me to do… grrr. I shall have to wait until Wednesday! Well. That is pretty much the show. Peace players!

Wonder of Wonders

2009-03-04T02:10:00.000-06:00

HELLOO!! I didin't type anythign at how so this blog will no doubt be incomplete. but I atleast want to Write about Monday. Monday after I posted I met with paige way quick and ate teremok and she went to her helpign sesson. Then to stay out of the cold and wait to go to Rehab I went to a cafe that was AMAZING and had a yummy cheesy croissant. then I went to Rehab.

At rehab There was a guy named Dennis who is an ex-addict and just finnished his Bachelors at a christian school and is abotu to start studying psychology. He basically wants to do the same thign as me I think. :) Then He left to do some stuff and Seryozha started practicing a new song for worship. Then because I had told him that I knew a few of the songs we sing in English he made me sing them... except I totally didn't remember the words because I haven't sang them since I regularly attended Henderson Hills liek 2 years ago because we sing old school stuff at Christ the King. So I tried to remember them an dwrite them down but there were chunks I didn't remember. Seryozha really wanted to sing the English with me but I wrote sloppy so he couldn't read because I didn't know if they were the right words and there were lines I would just make up on the spot. Yeah... so he wanted me so sing it soem time and then the would sing it in Russian or we coudl sing it toegether in Russian or whatever. I was really stubborn about it and he was all like "hey, you were the one who wants to help." So I bucked up and we practiced a bit and I showe dhim some pics on my ipod and he said my family (particularly Cherith) looks nothing like me. Then we helped the peopel that came in then we went to the Parent meeting. He actually let me help carry thigns over to the meeting. Yea for starting to be mildly helpful and treated less like a guest! Then we hadd our parent meeting which was great as usual but I did soem unfortunate zoning out during the lesson. I guess my mind didn't want to work to very hard. but I did get some out of the lesson. We sang a few songs before the lesson and after the lesson we were going to sing a song and Seryozha said he wanted to sing a solo... then he looked at me and said (in Russian) you ready? Uh... I totally thought we were like preparing for Sunday or liek a week away or soemthing. But I just said Da and he said (in Russian) "you sing it in English, then we will sing it together in Russian." Adn he started playing. I didn;t coem in when I was supposed to so he sang softly in Russian to let me know I should be singing. Then I sang it... complete with improvs, and by the end my voice started to waiver a bit but I think that over all it was vocally ok. then a measure after I was done he started in Russian... I thought I was supposed to sing with him but was nervous and hadn't practiced much in Russian and so I couldnt make the turn around that quick. I should have stopped singing but I think I basically sang a word or two from each line. classy. Anyways. everyone said it was great and some people took pictures (they always take pictures at church) and they posted them on vkontakte (russian facebook) and so now I show them to you! Then at prayer requests I didn't have to have mine translated although Seryozha had to help me speak. I was trying to say "God's will" which is Volya Bozhe but I think I said Bolya Boga, but I got corrected and all was well. then we prayed and I started settign up the food. And the people that usually set up the food had to go so I was the only one doing it for a while until Olga and Nastya and Sergey stopped their little photoshoot and came and helped and it made me feel very happy to feel helpful!! yea!!! I knwo these people help me A LOT MORE than I help them, but I am glad that finally I am doing something, even if what I am doing is very little.

SO that was that and we ate and we cleaned up and I walked to the Metro with the mother and then Seyozha's mom got out on my stop because she and seryozha live REALLY close to me and so she walked me how and we talked. the women are so nice and they love me like crazy. I am VERY VERY BLESSED!!

Then I chilled at home and talked to Paige an excessively long time on the phone and I couldn't sleep even though I started trying at like 11:30... I know for sure I was awake at 2 for sure and probably later. I dunno why. It might have been my mild performance adrenaline...

At school the next day I talked to Elena about what universities I should look into and she said she'd call them all and find out about them. WAY COOL AND NICE!!!!! Then Paige and I wen tot our Religion class for the first time. It is the best class I've had so far! ...but that isn't saying much. Paige was dying for Mexican food an dshe convinced me to skip my next class and get Mexican Food with her. How could I resist when she said she'd pay and that I could use her interwebs at her place after? Plus the class that I would've gone to it Atual Problems in World Social groups and the teacher HATES me so I asked today if I could change classes and Elan said I could so I am going to start taking Culturology....
So we ate yummy yummy mexican food. I got the Chimichanga which TOTALLY hit the spot. It was even better than the burrito. and I got papas al horno. yumm. THe chips for th echips and salsa were carmalized and not my fav.
Then we wnet to Paige's and hung out and I used the internest forever and she was a dear about it. Then I went hoem and tried to go to bed. It was like 8 but I was SOOO tired. But none the less I couldn't sleep at all. I got to sleep around 12:30 I think... earlier than usual I guess but not as early as I was shootingfor.

This mornign I had my little Russian class and it was swell. And I've been online since then trying to keep myself and you up to date.

;)

2009-03-02T05:16:00.001-06:00

I don’t even remember the last time I wrote or what I ended with…
But Thursday I had 2 classes, then we ate at chainaja lozhka. Then Tanya took us to a Russian restaurant to show us where one is as part of our “orientation.” Then at night I went to a local Academy’s open house. I am really feeling like the Lord wants me to stay here and study legit as a Russian student and get a degree here. I didn’t ask any questions at the open house because I didn’t wanna make a scene and I was nervous but when I got home I called and they told me to come in the next day. It was nice walking home alone on beautiful Nevsky Prospekt and to enjoy the celebration I decided I was going to see a movie. I occasionally very much enjoy going to movies by myself so on the way home I popped in to the closest movie theatre and checked out movie times. I came home and talked to the fam a bit. Both Tanya and Nonna told me on Thursday that they thought I would have to take the crazy hard entrance exams if I want to study at a Russian school, it is like a Russian SAT. This was disheartening but I knew and what encouraged by the fact that all things are possible with God and He has had me do what I deemed impossible before and I only want to do His will and if it is His will He’ll make it happen. How did you like that run-on sentence? Anyways, so I went and saw “International” at the theater which was fancy and all the seats were love-seats and sofas and waiters could bring you food and stuff. I bought some ice cream it was yummy. Then on the way home I stopped by the supermarket and bought some chips. Seriously, I think that I haven’t stopped eating in the last 4 days or so… Maybe my body is pissed that I am losing weight and trying to get back to equilibrium…
Friday morning I got up way early and spent time with Jesus. Then I went to the Institute in the hopes of talking to Elena about what I might need to do to go to school here. She wasn’t there and I was supposed to meet the foreigners back at Petrogradskaya so I briefly used the interwebs and beat it. On the way out I fell twice on the ice. Twice in a row. We are talking like fall get up and take 2 steps and fall again. Some older man grabbed my arm and helped me across the slickest steepest part of the road. I had headphones in so I didn’t hear a thing he was saying and I couldn’t take the headphones out because he had my arm so I smiled and nodded. Eh, I might have had to do that anyways even if I had heard him. Then I met the gang and got more food. Then we all went to the gramophone museum. Yepp. That is what I said. This excursion was planned for us (the foreigners) by the office and Tanya took us there. There were a lot of gramophones… most of them were American made. I dunno, while the subject matter wasn’t exactly my cup of tea it was a personalized tour by a very enthusiastic woman who at the end made us tea and discussed Samovars with us. Then Paige and I cut out and bought me some boots. We had tried to the day before but everything was so expensive I nixed it. Since the situation was getting dire I opted to bite the bullet and buy the cheapest non-hooker boots that were of bearable taste and functionality. Cost me like 65 bucks. But then dad ended up more that reimbursing me out of the kindness of his heart. Then Paige and I went to Nevsky prospect and wandered and went into our favorite store where she bought a Soviet cigarette case. It is delightful. In our wanderings we found a statue of Turgenev and a music store. There I played an Austic bass which made em incredibly happy and long to buy it and realize that I forgot every song I ever thought I knew…. Sad. I almost bought it on the spot but it was so expensive I couldn’t forgive myself. I asked the store clerk where I could buy a used one and he said he didn’t know. Then Paige headed home and I headed to the Academy where they basically enrolled me. They seemed like it was absolutely no big deal to attend and said I didn’t need to take the SAT I just needed to take a conversation test. They had me give them my info and basically said come back in May to take the test and fill out the visa info. IT was so awesome and so easy!! Praise Jesus! Now, I am not for sure going there, but it is a wonderful feeling to have a huge door wide open in a direction you feel called to! : ) Then I came home and told the ladies and they looked over all my papers and info and seemed to think it was all a really good deal and a good price and everything. Yea! Then I went to rehab. It was wonderful as usual! It was kinda funny though because they practically kicked me out. They were like “That’s all, Deah,” and waved authoritatively.
Then I wnet back to the apartment where I met Irina, a protestant woman who plays the bass at church and helps occasionally at her church’s rehab ministry. Haha! How awesome is that! AND we ate cheesy potatoes!! EXACTLY LIKE THE ONES I VIRTUALLY LIVED OFF OF LAST SEMESTER!!! WOO HOO!
Then I thought “Well, it it like 1:30 pm in America… there is no way that I am going to be able to get ahold of anyone but I better try because I really feel like God wants me to break the news about my probably staying here longer to them today.” I called and immediately got a hold of dad and talked to him for almost an hour then the call broke up an then he was busy so I called mom and got ahold of her too! She had left work early! : ) Then I got to talk to dad again, and then after all that with th e15 minutes left on my phone card I called Cher and got ahold of her too! If that is not a freakin’ miracle then I dunno what is! I have been trying to get ahold of these people forever and to no avail, but on this special day I got a freakin’ bingo! It is a shame I didn’t get to talk to Fergie though… FERGIE I LOVE YOU!!!
Then I went to bed. Saturday I slept in then showered and posted a bunch of flyers with Jesus. Then I prayed and figured it was time to go chill with Paige and headed over there. Everytime I called it said her line was unavailable and to try back later. So I am at the door of her apt. building and trying to remember the first security code…. I can’t but I remember that I got the same email she did that told her where she was living and how to get in. So I check my email on my phone and get in the first door and call her apt on the 2nd door phone and Tatiyana answers and lets me in. Now I am a completely uninvited and unexpected guest all because I wanted to grab some blini with Paige… yeah. But it was okay. I drank some tea there and check the interwebs and then we went to ideal’naja chawka(the Ideal cup) which is this coffee house not far from her place. There I got a sandwich a tea and a chocolate cake, all of which were delish. Then I went to the church bible study. That was swell. We read and discussed John 2. Praise God I was able to slightly contribute to the study! :) I love Jesus a bunch. Then I and 3 other ladies practiced a few songs to prepare for the worship service on Sunday. Then I went home and watched the documentaries about the rehab. :).
Sunday (today) I went to morning church at Ozerki. It is the church affiliated with the Rehab and is on the same grounds as the rehab. I like it. It is pretty freaking traditional, but apparently the morning service is for the older people. I liked it. The Choir has uniforms and they sing beautifully. To be honest I have really been hoping to be preached to at whatever morning church I go to because all of the other things I have been going to have been so interactive and that kinda puts me on edge right now. This was a nice traditional service. Maybe a little more baptisty traditional than I am used to, but I got used to Presbyterian traditional quick enough so I’m sure I’ll adjust in time. Then Paige and I met up and we ate at Pizza&Pasta.com and incase you are wondering… they don’t have a website. It is also not far from Paige’s place. THE PIZZA WAS SOOOO GOOD! We got the chicken, pesto, mushroom pizza. I think I died and went to heaven. IT was amazing. I don’t think I am expressing this clearly enough. DELISH. Then I went to church nice and early so we could practice the music. I was the first one there. I had to wait until someone left the building to get in… then I couldn’t get on the level the auto school we meet in. So I waited in the stairway for a while and texted people to look busy. Sometimes when people came by I put the phone to my ear and nodded. IT was all very stupid so I went back down stairs and called Paige while in a corner. Then I tried again later and I got in jut fine and the girls were like We just got here too!!! I didn’t have the heart to say I’d been waiting and virtually hiding for almost 20 minutes. We practiced and had the service and all was well and we had tea and socialized afterwards one newly-wed couple was just back from their honeymoon and they were all cute and glowing. At socialization time I socialized a lot more than usual. I LOVE MY CHURCH! I love those people and they love me and we all love Jesus! Hehehe.
Now I’m home. Tada!

too much sleep bu tmy body doesn't think so.

2009-02-26T03:11:00.000-06:00

Well, I slept in again… bad. And I missed my Russian class…. I went to bed at 11, which if you know me at all is WAY early, but all the same the only time I looked at the clock with any amount of human thought it was 9:07 and my class started at 9:00, so I went back to bed. Woke up for keeps at 10:30ish. Now I am waiting for the shower, I’m in no rush though because that was my only class and I already good and missed it. SO guess be praying that that never happens again. Last semester I had an unfortunate habit near the end of the year to sleep in uncontrollably. Oh, by the way, this morning I set 3 alarms to go off all in a 10 minute period, and then every 9 minutes after that… it seems that isn’t good enough, or I was just unusually zonked today. I’ll try to go to bed way early on Thursday, Lord willing. And then I’ll start having one day a week where I don’t need to set an alarm. That usually helps my body catch up on any lost sleep from a given week. But I am not really feeling any signs of depression, which is usually what causes me to have trends of sleeping in. Actually, starting the day before yesterday I have been craving comfort foods a lot… hmm… this all my add up to nothing, but aren’t you glad you are here to watch my slow and gradual thought process? Ah, anyways…
Yesterday after posting and having my interweb time I met up with Paige and we went to a class with Tanya. IT was some sort of an English class and the assignment was to look over some weird existential questions (i.e. if you knew there would be a nuclear war in a week what would you do?) and discuss them in class. So we were brought in to spice up the conversation. So yes. IT was fine and kinda strange in a natural sort of way to be talking in English for like an hour and 30 minutes straight with Russians… Wa? Speaking English with Russians? That seems so weird. But it was a nice vaca.
Then Tanya lent us one of her favorite movies so Paige went over to my place and we watched it. And Nonna gave us some pizza and Russiany cinnamon Rolls for our viewing pleasure. IT was a delight. I am dying to make chocolate chip cookies. But chocolate chips are not to me found in all of Russia. : ( Maybe I’ll cut up a hershey’s bar or something. So the movie was interesting, and it was pretty good. Very… European in style. Then Paige beat it, I did some Russian homework to prepare for the class I didn’t go to today. Then I ate with the fam some delicious Asian rice and we ate it with chopsticks : ) Then I did more home work, and realized I needed some God time but as soon as I started hearing His voice He told me to go to sleep, so I got in bed and prayed until I fell asleep… but apparently I abided a bit to late to make it to class…

Okay… yesterday my flash drive didn’t work on the 3 computers I tried it on and since I hadn’t really written anything interesting I thought I’d just wait for another day. Welp, after I missed class and took my time getting to the institute I saw Joe, Tanya, and Paige in the café and talked to them for a bit. Then I went up and apologized to Elena for missing class and she told me what we did and then said it wasn’t scary that I missed class and was just glad I was okay and told me that on Friday we are going to a concert or Museum or something… haha I forget, but she said she’d call. Then I went down stairs and met up with Paige and Joe again because Paige had agreed to show us where the American consulate because she passed it one day when she was clubbin’ with Irina. So we went there. At one point it was funny because I was totally following her and then I suddenly realized that she wasn’t there and that the lady infront of me also had a purple coat on but one completely different… so I asked Joe where she was and he was equally flabbergasted. We called her and she had been watching us from across the street hoping we would eventually notice her absence. Then we walked to the Consulate and passed it and kept walking for a bit just for kicks and right there was a CHINESE RESTAURANT!! : ) Wonderous! I was starved so it was so much the better. We ate there and it was a really nice restaurant and the Buisness lunch was a 4 course meal. Each course was 100 grams (yeah… they tell you stuff like that here). and you had 4 choices for each course. The courses were soup, salad, entre, and side. My soup said it was Chicken and potatoes but it definantly had an element of egg drop soup to it. Then I got the white Chinese mushroom salad, Not my favorite course but not bad. Then I got SWEET AND SOUR CHICKEN! YUMMY!!! The chicken like fell apart in your mouth… in a good way. And I got fried rice with eggs. SO YUMMY! SO FULL! It totally hit the spot. This was a legit restaurant. And it only cost like 10 bucks for all of that and a drink. Yumm. We stayed there a long time and talked and laughed. It was fun. As we walked back to the Metro station we passed a construction site and as we were passing it we were all kinda anxious and just as we passed it the workers dropped a bunch of metal rods and ladders…. It was frightening. And then I guess that upset the snow or something because the snow all fell on us. Btu it was funny. SO at the metro Paige went home and Joe and I went to the institute to use the interwebs. We stayed there until they kicked us out. I found out that the tuition at OU is about the same as at MGU, Moscow State University. There is a fun fact for you. Then he walked me to the Metro and we stood outside of it and talked a lot. I did a lot of aloud idea bouncing and he did a lot of beign a good bouncing board. Then he headed home, and I headed to Rehab. I had been 30 minutes early on Monday so a lot of Jo and I talking outside of the Metro was me trying to wait so as to be on time an dnot early. HA I was late, but only by like 20 minutes. I got there and Seryozha was busy talking to a guy and 2 girls who wanted the guy to go to rehab. As I tried to appear unobtrusive another guy came and his Mom. That was a lot of people for that little office. Shortly after the first group left Rufina came in. I guess her son left rehab shortly after he got there. Poor dear. I had her sit by me and talk to me while she waited to talk to Seryozha. Then she talked to him a long time. Then she asked if I live there. I shook my head.. I do that a lot. It is like if I open my mouth people will know I am an idiot so I try to respond without opening my mouth… but once I open my mouth a flood of nonsensical words gush out and they don’t stop for a long time… haha one time Seryozha said Once I understand you, you don’t have to keep talking. Haha. It was totally nice though, I just get redundant and silly because I feel misunderstood or I want to correct myself a thousand times or after I say it I think of a better way to say it or whatever… Anyways, after I noded and Seryozha asked me where I live (even thought he knows… it was just because she wanted to know) I must have given him a pleading look because after that he answered his own question for her and took it away from there. It was nice and not really characteristic of him because he is always the one making me talk. Then he pretended I was looking to go to rehab and we went through the first steps for it until I said I didn’t want an Anteka and didn’t wanna go anywhere. Then we just talked. We talked about the music he gave me and he said I probably was headbanging to it on my bed and I told him he was right. Every now and then he’ll ask me how to say something in English or say something he just said in Russian in English and he said pretty soon we can just walk up to eachother and greet eachother with this whole long greeting and conversation and I’ll talk completely in Russian and he’ll talk completely in English and we’ll understand eachother perfectly. We talked along time about a lot of stuff. About our drug problem in New York and how he’d love to come there and help, but that it would be hard to be a foreigner and have a different language and culture all the time. And I told him that the cool thing about being a foreigner is that like everybody in the Bible is a foreigner and that it doesn’t make it any harder to talk to God. But then we just decided that we should ship the Americans over here for rehab and I could translate the Anteka into English and all would be well. Then we talked about Russian verses english and he taught me a bunch of Russian slang, which I am pretty sure I promptly forgot. He said I’d better learn slang and not just Russian and by the time half the year is over people will think that I was an addict in Russia because I’ll know the slang so well. Haha. I wish (not that I was an addict but that I could pass for fitting in a very specific local social group especially the addict one). Then he gave me some music for my phone and had me translate the words to the American ringtones he had. I had translate “Ya’ll gonna make me loose my mind, up in here, up in here.” IT took me like 10 minutes to come up with this in Russian “Because of what you all are doing here, I will go crazy.” Yeah, you try to do better! Then he sang me a new praise song he wants to sing with the brothers. It was cool, then I left and he told me not to get lost, and then had to tell be what that meant. Then I walked/metroed home, listening to Russian Christian music. I really like some of it. I think it is important that I listen to Russian music to keep me in Russian mode. Oh man if I am talking in Russian to someone and have music in English playing in one year it is SOOO HARD. But if I am listening to Russian music it is doable. Oh, the sun was out for a long time today. : ) it was wonderful, especially because of the snow. Hopefully when I post this I can successfully send you a picture of the sunset I saw on my way to Rehab in my little forest by the lake. Delight. Then I came home and ate more rice pilaf form last night. Now I am writing this and will soon sleep. Be praying that God will focus me on Him more fully. I can feel my focus becoming distracted. I love you guys!!

SO this morning i got up on time, but I must say it was quite a battle to do so. Adn I called Cherith, the poor dear at like 12:45 am american time. she was a dear abotu it thougth and it was good to here her voice. Then I had class and paige had slept in so I was alone and the kids were all talkign to one another an dhten somebody sent me a note. It was scary but thenm I figured it out. It was a friedn of Gary who I had friended on vkontakte before I got here. IT seems her friend invited me an dPaige to go to the theatre with her. cool.

Yes it’s a good day from mornin’ ‘til night!

2009-02-24T04:24:00.000-06:00

Hello loved ones!!! I am incredibly happy! And as you can probably tell by my tone, I just got back from the Rehab office. Seriously! I WANNA LIVE HERE. When everyone was leaving I was totally let down that I couldn’t do more! They gave me …

Haha. That is as far as I got before I got beckoned to delicious foods and gave up on writing… I’ll try to recall it, but I am not quite so dizzy with the spirit right now. I am actually watching “The Last Hero” with Nonna, it is the Russian Survivor… and it is Sunday. Anywho, so on … what day was that?? Friday. Friday they gave me some flyers to cut the little tear of tabs for. Then while I was doing that, Nicolai asked if I knew computers and I said yes… I’ve learned that when I am the youngest person in the room and someone asks if I know computers I can usually safely say yes. I really know almost nothing about computers, but I am not afraid to try and I can do basic things on basic programs. So, he handed me this business card and told me to make it exactly the way it is but with different telephone numbers. I they pretty much only have Microsoft word, in Russian of course and it is old school with no templates… as far as I could tell, but again it was in Russian. So I made a table 2x8 and measured the card with a ruler and made each rectangle of the table approximately the same size. Then I typed the text… which was the slowest process of my life. And you know me, when I mess up of feel a fool I laugh almost uncontrollably so here I am with these 3 Russian men in the rehab office laughing up a storm and pecking away at a snails pace. They were so confused, but eventually learned to laugh with me. Nicolai told me not to type it but to just to the format… but I still had no clue how to do the format because I was winging it and didn’t wanna blow my chance to help out. So with some laughs and grunts and a fair amount of time the business card got written. Nicolai thanked me and said that it would have taken him all night… I couldn’t help but thinking that that was about as long as it took me. But I just smiled awkwardly. I need to start responding to compliments or whatevers those are by just saying “praise God!” I think it is much more appropriate because if right now I am doing anything good or helpful, it is all HIM. Then I noticed that the new like 1000 flyers we had just printed said www.narkostop.org instead of www.narcostop.org so I told Nicolai and he asked if that would still get to the site and I said I didn’t think so so he had me fix the flyer and then he told me to change the phone numbers again, and then we re-printed everything. Good times. But I kinda think God had them put the wrong address just so I could feel special. Thanks God!! : ) I really felt special. Then I finished cutting the flyers. Oh, and while I was writing the card some people came in to go off to different centers and I was always introduced as “our psychologist” and people always said hi and bye to me. Then Nicolai told me I couldn’t do anything else an he drove me to the Metro… which is nice but kinda silly… I think it might be faster walking, although I have been falling in the ice lately. The only traction my boots offer are in the heels, but I walk really hard on my heels so they are pretty much warn slick. I’ve fallen 3 times in the last week and a half. Then I came home and typed that little bit and ate deliciousness and probably read the Bible or prayed or something then went to bed. I have been so tired lately. It is hard for me to wake up.
Okay. Saturday. Saturday morning I read a bit, watched part of the documentary thingy that Seryozha gave me about the Centers. Oh, I remember Thursday night I prayed about where to go on Saturday and God told me 2 places that made sense… and then 2 were in my head that didn’t make sense and I dunno if they were from, God or what. Anyways, so he said Sportivnaya and Zvyozdnaja. SO when I was good and ready I went to Chkalvskaya and bought a glue stick, and then took the Metro to Sportivnaya. I don’t really know that area at all but I wasn’t concerned with that, thanks to my man Jesus, and knowing that I had a map. I texted Tanya and let her know that I could meet here at Zvyozdnaya (where she lives) at 3 and that I’d burned some American Music for her. She was up for it, so I figured at about 2:40 I’d look on the map and try to find my way to a metro. I just prayed about which way to go and where to post them and God was really awesome and it was just like in Psalms when it says God will be over your shoulder yelling in your ear to go to the right or to the left. Then at about the time I was thinking of checking the map to see where I was, I saw a “Chainoy lozhka” a café that I’ve only seen on decently busy places and I thought I’ll check it out first…it was our Chainoy lozhka! The one right by Chkalkaya! Hehe It was so sweet of God to take me right back to my metro! I posted a few more and Jesus and I headed to meet Tanya. We met up and she asked if I had time to hang and I said I did, so we went for a walk in the park. There was a lot of snow and some people were skiing in the park. And she told me the History of all the park and the 3 churches in the park. Then she took me to the Museum of the WWII blockade… or maybe the monument of heroes or something… I am not sure what the name was, as I so rarely am, but I got the gist of it all. Basically the primus is that everyone in the City at that time was heroic. It was nice. There have been a lot of Billboards around town with the same gist I guess because the anniversary of the city is coming up. It is beautiful, uplifting, and subtle nationalistic propaganda. Well crafted and boosts morale and repoire without seeming overbearing in the slightest.
So then it was time for Saturday night church so Tanya and I parted ways and I headed that way. I got there about on time…and the downstairs door was locked. I didn’t know what to do so I almost gave up. I was calling Paige… as I often do for morale support when awkwardness occurs and I was walking away when someone came out of the building to I ran for the door and slipped slid and ran to it in time to get in. I think it must have been a funny sight. Then it was a round table Bible study over the second half of John 1. Then we got in groups and discussed this week’s lesson in the little devotional thing they are reading. I didn’t know what group I was to they told me to go with my Wed. night boys. IT was highly interactive and my brain was OFF. It was tragic and there were lots of verses to look up and read so we’d spit the versus up and half the time I was reading mine I’d midway through give up and hand my bible to Seryozha to read for me. And every time they’d ask me a question I would awkwardly blank out. After the service we sang some.. I guess it was preparation for Sunday night but I just wanted to sing so I sang along and they asked me to sing with them Sunday to I said I would. Then I really wanted some mandarins and I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything since the oatmeal I had that morning to I called up Paige and asked if she was down for hunting down some since I was only one stop away from her and she said she was game. So we wandered in the snow until we found a fruit stand open. Paige was tipsy and cute and talkative. We wandered eating mandarins. Then I went home and ate SOO MUCH and it was all SO GOOD. Then I went to bed. Today I went to morning church at “New Life” where Seryozha told me to go… I wasn’t sure what time to go but I thought Seryozha said 11,but he told em to call or text, so I got there at like 10:50 and texted to ask what time it was and walked around a but until 11:20 so I figure I was wrong about the time because he hadn’t texted back. SO I went to Teremok to kill some time and right when I ordered my food, Seryozha texted to tell me sorry he forgot, and that it started at 11 and told me the address and the # of the pastor. … so when I got my food I inhaled it and left for church, I got there late of course and was met by the pastor who directed me to the English speaking group… they were organized into 4 groups. They were reading verses from Genesis and then telling them as stories to one another. They said they had been doing this for about a year now to make church a more interactive experience. After we all read or told the story we read and answered some questions about it and prayed. The Americans there were from Texas and Oklahoma. They were very nice. It was a family and a couple. We read about Abraham moving to Canann and then all his promises and how he had Ishamael and Issac. God recently brought me here to encourage me about being a foreigner. It is really hard to be a foreigner. IT was nice to pray in group in English and be understood and talk with brothers and sisters in my radnoy yasik, but I don’t think this is the place for me. Everyone seems so nice and wonderful but I am dying to be fed. I want a sermon, a deep and chunky sermon that I can sink my teeth into, not another interactive bible study and not that regurgitation in English. I need to learn how to talk about the things of God in Russian. Religious and Biblical vocab is a whole different can of words that I didn’t learn in Latvia or school and I think I need to be immersed in it. I am not concerned so much about the fact that I may only be fed in Russian, because I am getting fed and being held accountable, and to be honest my spiritual Life is probably the best it has ever been, Praise the Lord, and hopefully it will continue to grow deeper and stronger and richer in HIM. It was nice to go there today, but it isn’t home. Then I met with Paige and we ate Subway. She said she really wanted it but didn’t wanna have to go through the ordeal of ordering, so I ordered for her… It was all very silly but I felt less shame when I took on her shame by ordering for both of us. It was nice. We stayed in Subway for like almost 2 hours. IT was nice, but I’ve gotta stop going to Americany places so much. I was cool with it, but God and I talked about it and we are protiv.
Then I went to Church. It was delightful as usual. I sang 2 songs with them…. Neither were the ones we rehearsed and neither I’d ever sung before. IT was interesting but they asked me to sing with them next week and to Practice with them next Saturday. They said I have a good voice... another appropriate time to say “praise God” but I didn’t. I gotta work on that. OH! So here a guy named Aleksandr read about Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and how they Submitted fully to the Lord and His ways and didn’t give to the world around them even as they were strangers in a strange land. Praise God for making almost everyone in the Bible foreigners. It is like this great theme in the Bible that I knew of before but feel SOOOO blessed by right now. IT almost seems like a right of passage or something that the Lord puts so many of those He loves through to either grow them, or do something great through them, or both. It is definantly cool beans. And these 4 boys were students at that and God blessed their studies for their devotion and God called them not to partake of the Local ingestible delicacies just as I am called to not partake of Russian vodka. Needless to Say I was incredibly encouraged by today’s lessons and I very much believe that the Lord will be faithful to bless my studies, even as He calls me to study in a language that is not my own.
Yup… after Church it was kind of a hen party because all the guys beat it before chai. Then th gals left at the same time and they told me to get on bus 15 which took me God knows where forever… I just wanted to get to the metro and after forever I saw a metro sign so I got of and was at Mayakovskaya when the closest metro to where I got on was Ladozhskaya… wa? Oh, well, I saw a different part of town and got home in one piece. Who could ask for more. Then I came home and ate more wonderful food, picked out the song I would sing for the festival, and then watch the end of Posledneij geroj and then Watched Juno with Nonna. It was on 1oe channel and in Russian.  then I wrote to God and now I am going to bed! GOOD NIGHT! I LOVE YOU ALL! Be praying for the Lord’s continued protection, direction, discernment, wisdom, love, joy, peace, and humility in my life!!! THANKS!!!

OK. So I thought I would get a chance to post on Monday, but I didn’t. SO here is Monday’s. I slept in… I guess these late nights are getting to me. I need to figure out a better sleep routine, but I guess that isn’t a new problem in any way shape or form. So I called Paige to tell her I had slept in because we had planned on going to Mega in the morning. She said she was about to call me because she too had slept in. I guess there is just something about Mega that makes you sleep in. Anyways, so I got ready for the day, put another notch in my belt and met her underground at her metro stop. Then we continued on to Mega. It was some but Holiday, the 23rd of February, the old school Military Service day… but now it has become more of a man day in general because you are required to serve the military here. So it is like Man-day/women in the military day. So at Mega there was a military band playing and there were butt-loads of people because they didn’t have work or school. Paige and I saw the entire Massive mall. It was funny and cool, but by the end we were definitely pooped and all the stores ended up looking the same and the people running into us got annoying. Oh, in one of the stores we ran into 2 of the Russian girls I met at the Morning Church I went to on Sunday, New Life. They were nice and way excited to see me. That is the first time I’ve just ran into someone I know in town. It makes me feel like I know people. I know enough people in a city of like 5 million to just bump into 2 acquaintances and have a little chat. Paige ended up buying a coat for like 500 rubles (SO CHEAP) and was really cute. I ended up buying 2 movies- American Classics: Citizen Kane and Arsenic and Old Lace. I’ve never seen citizen Kane and Arsenic and Old Lace is a childhood favorite of mine. It is funny because I have tried to buy oldies like these in America and had trouble finding them but here in Russia they had all these American classics that I was like in heaven. I almost also bought Bringing up Baby and A Streetcar Named Desire too, but I felt like I was spending too much money. The movies were 300 rubles a piece but that is 33 dollars if I bought all 4 and I am trying to not spend money. And if I and dying for them I can always go back, they had so many classics and the classic Russian Sherlock Holmes that we recently discussed in my Russian class. I might have to go back sometime, but for the time being I am quite content. Oh, and they work in all country codes and are in English or Russian and can have English or Russian subtitles. Very cool. SO Paige and i took the free bus that was supposed to take us to the Metro but it took us God knows where and we wandered until we found a Metro. We didn’t feel too bad because like as soon as we got off the bus a Russian girl asked us where a metro was and I told her we didn’t know and that we were looking for one too… and while I guess that would be more concerning to some, it was nice to know that we weren’t just confused because we are foreign, and that instead we were in a confusing situation. The metro was on a completely different line, but plop us down in a metro and we can get ya anywhere to we were quite contented. We parted ways and I went to rehab. I go there early and Sergey invited me up to this office that is like a watch tower. Then we went to the office to wait for intakes. I had my zipdrive with me and he have me buttloads of Russian Christina Music. And we listened to a lot of it and sang some of it and discussed musical styles. We say the Lord’s Prayer after every service and meeting so I asked if they use the Lord’s prayer from Luke or Matthew and he said they were the same and I said they weren’t which seemed to really confuse him, so I showed him the one in Luke and we compared it to Matthew and he said it was the one in Matthew. His confusion made me wonder if he had ever compared the stories in the bible and seen the minor seemingly discrepancies which are so frightening when you first notice them, but beautiful when you realize they help you more clearly see the picture being drawn. Hope I didn’t rock his faith boat… At the Parent’s meeting, Rufina wasn’t there. Pray for her. But the meeting was good and Olga invited me again to sing with them and I again said I would. I feel like Olga is becoming my friend and she and the other women often take picture during lessons and look at them together and they included me in that this time. This is a good thing because of the fellowship, but I must admit I missed part of the lesson because of it, and this made me feel like I was in middle school youth group, wanting to get fed, but knowing that to fit in I needed to be mildly disruptive. Except here it doesn’t seem urgent to fit in and I know they’ll love me anyways. : ) Also every time I say my age everyone calls me a little girl. They are totally sweet and jovial about it, and it doesn’t bother me, but it is amusing that I am a female, young, foreigner, who virtually cannot speak… Really God, is the best you could send to Russia, the land you love so dearly? Ah, but Your ways are better than ours I know. Again during prayer requests after I said mine it had to be rehashed and retranslated from my Russian to real Russian and Sergey said that soon enough he’ll be British because he is going to have to start understanding me. This time I understood when they were translating it and figuring out what was going on and helped them along a bit. Also this time I didn’t feel ashamed about it. I mess up a lot and it is best to mess up with friends and family who love you. Plus earlier Sergey was playing guitar and totally was playing wrong and then gave up and everyone just laughed and joked a bit like they do with me and he just played along so it seemed natural and normal to follow suit.
So yeah, then I came home, we ate blini because it is Maslanitsa (MardiGras… but consists of eating… crepes). Then we talked and stuff and then I watched a movie with Elena Borisovna and Nonna called like Stilog… or something. Basically it is the musical, Russian movie about kids in the mid 1950s who were obsessed with American music and fashion as they understood it and their lives and plight. IT was like 50s soviet Swing kids. IT was good. Then it was like 2 AM so I tried to call home, but no one answered… Then I went to be and today I slept in again and I need to take a shower.

Flash...

2009-02-20T03:18:00.000-06:00

I bought a flash drive, Praise Jesus. Oh, and the internet on my phone stopped working as well. IT seems that God wants me to Himself a little more than I thought perhaps. : )
And that is fine with me. Okay, SO, I went to go meet Paige and we went to a movie theater but none of the movies that were out were of interest to us. So we walked to another theater, but with the same result. So we just walked around. We went into this little ritzy mini mall by the Petrogradskaya metro. It was pretty cool beans. Then we went to McyD’s. Then we didn’t have anything else to do but I still had time to kill before rehab so I rode with her to her Metro stop (during Rush hour) and then rode it back and to rehab. Then I was still crazy early. There was like 4-5 inches of snow on the ground, and the snow was still falling. It was beautiful. I walked as slowly as possible to soak it in (and to waste time). It was wonderous. I was really tempted to make a snowman on the way to rehab, and Lord knows I had the time, but I pretty sure that is not exactly the social norm for an adult to do alone in public at mid-day. I prayed about it, and felt the Lord was calling me to go on ahead to Rehab instead. I got there and saw some people. Then everybody left the Office. I was left alone, so I prayed, and sang some hymns. When people would occasionally come back in to grab something they had forgotten I would try to stop singing before they heard anything. I think it worked…. But it was awkward kinda because I never know what to do so I just sit there. Then finally I asked Seryozha how I can help, in general, whether cleaning or anything and said that is the reason I am there: to help. He couldn’t think of anything, and asked Nicolai when Nicolai came in. Nicolai was with a guy who wanted to be admitted to Nicolai ignored Seryozha as Seryozha asked how I can help continued with saying that I want to serve God. It was nice to have a brother trying to help me serve. While they were discussing the intake God had me pray for the guy who was coming in and then God told me that soon he would be our Brother, and that he and his whole house would be saved. IT was delightful. I was so filled with the spirit that I was shaking. When he left they gave me some flyers to cut the little pull tabs for. I began cutting jovial and then it was just Seryozha and me again. Then Nicolai brought in another guy. When I prayed for him God just told me that his heart was still hard. Then he and Nicolai left. I looked up in my Russian Bible the word for prophesy (via Acts 2) and asked Seryozha “DO you believe that if God wants us to we can prophesy now?” ( I didn’t know how else to see if he was a sessationist and even thought God gave me the go ahead to tell him the prophesy I thought I’d see where the local church stands on the matter) HE said “We can always Prophesy” (at least that is how I translated it in my head). And I did what I could to show my relief and explain that many believe that that was only during the Apostles’ time. Then I told him What God told me about the men, and he looked up the men’s names and said he would remember, and he praised God.
After a while some more guys came (yes I was the only girl). And then we read Gen 39. We each read 4 verses and then paraphrased and analyzed them. I actually participated… mostly by looking up related verses that I thought of and attempting to read them, or referencing the verses I was thinking of until someone understood what was talking about… yeah. It was basically a giant game of catch phase every time I spoke, but everyone was very nice and patient and seemed to wanna hear what I was trying to say. Then it was over, we all shook hands and said goodbye. And that same guy walked with me to the Metro because he has to get on the tram which is right by there. Oh, but before we left one of the guys was talking with me in the street about what I am studying, and another guy came out of the building that I never go into and basically shooed him away and said hello to me…. I am not sure if they are saving me from them or the other way around…. Is my female presence perceived as a stumbling block? I feel like in this environment everything is working against me. I am a female foreigner… this makes me feel like a mute stumbling block…. How is this supposed to please and Glorify the Lord in this community? But that way of thinking is probably just what the enemy wants me to think. I for got to bring the flyers with me so I texted Seryozha to say that I forgot it but will get them later… two hourse later he responded… which made me wonder what I wrote him… Let me translate to the best of my ability the crap I texted him: “I forgot the little papers, the most next of time I believe with me” yupp. But some how he got it and responded “I am saving the little papers for you, they are ready to paste.”
So at like midnight I was freaking out about how stupid I am for sending that message and I texted him to say that I just read what I sent him and praise God that he understood and that I’d be back on Friday. I hope I didn’t text him too late, but I felt SOO freaking dumb… OH! But before that yes, I was walking home from the metro talking to Joe on my cell, and when I tried to use my fob to open the door it didn’t beep to indicate that it was unlocking. I tried like 5 times, and then tried to open the door anyways and it worked. I saw a woman on the first floor with a candle, but I didn’t think about it. I started going up the stairs because the lift didn’t look like it was operating… Then I looked up the stairs to see that everything was pitch black. We were out of power. I told Joe I had to go trek through the blackest black up soviet stairs so he’d have to excuse me from the phone. He understood. About then, when I was hanging up I ran into something that scared the crap out of me. IT was a wardrobe that is always in the middle of the awning… in the dark it was frightening.so I used the cellphone light thereafter. Then I heard someone else coming up the stairs and saw that they too had a cellphone light… For some reason this concerned me so I quickened my pace and unlocked the door quick and locked it behind me althoght it seemed like they had stopped. Later I found out that it was Masha who lives above us. She said she stopped because she was just about as eager to meet the person she heard above as I was to meet the person I heard below. The apartment was pitch black and though no one answered when I asked if they were home I thought I heard something in the kitchen so I proceeded to there and as I neared I heard Elena Borisovna and Nonna. They greeted me and were amazed that I had trekked up the stairs in the dark. We ate dinner (gas stove) and chatted and had tea. I took a candle with me to bed and right as I was about to go to sleep I blew out the candle and found it all very fitting to be in a early 1900s Russian apartment without electricity and blowing out my candle to go to bed… then I realized what I had typed Seryozha. Oh the shame. SO after texting him I lit the candle and got out my homework dedicated to get better at Russian. I did some homework by candle light and noticed a light in the hall, I tried out the light in my room and it worked, so I finished this week’s homework. Seriously…. I have GOT to get better. This is painful. Then and only then did I go to sleep.

Thursday
The SUN WAS OUT TODAY! Really shining and everything! It was so wonderful in the melting snow, although the streets were dirty and disgusting. I wrote you all, had a lesson, wrote you again, and friended some people on vkontakte, then had another lesson. Then paige and Joe and I ran some errands. I was temporarily drained and depressed so I lazily took the metro home (so silly… but hey desperate times…). Then I came home, walking in the Sun and went to my room and spent about an hour with the Lord. IT was much needed. Then I watched some telly with Nonna and as scheduled we went to the Loreal salon and got our hair cut together. It cost about 1000 rubles. It was fun and I feel pretty. My hair is straight right now because that is how they styled it. It makes me feel like a singer for some reason. We’ll see how it looks when it is curled. Fingers crossed.

Also, as far as things to pray for, I could really use a sister in Christ here. Or just a “wrist” in general I really don’t care what gender, it just seems wiser to pray for a sister. I can rock the whole lone prophet thing if God wants me to, and I do have a community to strengthen me, Praise the Lord, but that is slightly different from having someone to confide in. I am used to having 1-7 accountability partners… so having 0 in the country is quite downgrade. God is all I need, but I could use an Elisha around to keep me honest, if you know what I mean.

Okay... This is Wednesday. I just got out of my Russian Lang class. Inma wasn't there so it was just me and the teacher. I was workign Really slowly because thta is always what I do when I am nervous or under pressure... but I got slightly better by the end of class. I think I have to get used to her... and get use to beign in such a small class again.

Also, I no have soem rehab friends on vkontakte. :) and alot of people tell me that I look Russian and are suprised that I am not from here like Olga who messaged me this:

Я хочу тебе сказать что у тебя не американская внешность, ты похожа больше на русскую, ты не там родилась, перепутала всё:))))

OH, pics- the first to are of the Rehab office form when I was in there alone. The other one is the area by the rehab office when I was stalling and considering makign a snowman and the last ones are of our new dos.

More.

2009-02-19T03:25:00.000-06:00

Okay, so that was Tuesday. Wednesday.

Wednesday Morning I went to my Russian Language Lesson. It was fine. I think Elena is going to teach us (the one at school. not the one I live with and not the one who picked me up form the Train station). There are 2 classes, one for "beginners" and one for intermiadiate. I am in the Intermediate one. There is only one other girl in my "class." She is form Sapin. She studied here last semester too and works as a Russian to Spanish Translaor here in Town. She also studied Russian in Spain and for a year in Estonia. IT is quite evident to me that she kicks my butt in Russian. She is nice but I am way intimidated. Adn I am competetive and have the suckign feelign thta I've already lost. But I need to surrender that to God and just concern myself serving Him. then I got on the computer for a bit and went home. At home Paige called and said she wanted to go to a movie. At home I was desperate to pee but the intire back of the toilet was missing... this was concerning. Elena Borisovna caught me starign awkwardly at the toiled and handed me a bicket of water and told me they were remodelign the building and that after I peed I needed to pour soem waher in the toilet. so I did and all was well. Then I had an egg sandwich with Nonna. Then I called Paige back and told her I was game.

more later...

:)

2009-02-19T01:23:00.000-06:00

Hey, I've got some interesting news. I can't get my computer to connect to the wifi at the institute.... That kinda sucks but I can see how God can use it as a blessing. The temptation to get on the interwebs during class is gone, and I will probably be in less pain if I don't carry this computer on my shoulder 4 times a week the mile to and from school. So... now I need a zip drive. I brought one from America, but it broke in Latvia. I am not excited about gettign one because they look EXPENSIVE, but you gotta do what you gotta do, and I would certainly prefer to keep you all updated and I don't see that happenign very effectually if I only write these blogs in the Library or computer room at school. There are way too many things that could go wrong there and that would make th efew pictures I've been able to post the last ones you'll see. So yeah. I'll get right on buying one.

Hmmmm... crap. seriously my class starts in 10 minutes. I got to school 40 minutes early only to find a working computer in enought time to write that. suck. well, I'll try to get on here later today and give a real update... but let me do what I can in about 5 minutes. Prepare for typos.

Where di dI leave off??? I haven't talked about Tuesday did I? Okay. Tuesday I had 1 class and these 2 Czech girls were in there with me. This class was the actual problems of world Social groups, except we didn't even talk about anythign related to the title of the class that day so the Czech girls who are fluent in Russian asked her what was up and the teacher said somehting about preparing the girls in the class for some exam, and the czech girls looked at me and said lets go... so we left... ah. I don't really knwo what happened... but I intend on attending the class in the future, I guess. Sucks though. So then I used the web and but some stuf on vkontakte.

Then I met up with Paige and we talked to the Lady in the office who told us when we would go to our Russian for foreigners class. Mine is on Wed. at 9 am and Firday at 10:40... Did I mention that before this I only had class on Tues. Thurs? and nothing earlier than 10:40? Oh,well. What is most important is that I will have a Russian class. Then paige and I got her school supplies and a phone card for her and went to my place and watched Boondock Saints. It was nice and it seems like Paige is having a hard time of it here, so be praying for her. Then I walked her to the Metro and took a walk and went home and fell asleep by 8 pm and didn't wake up until 7 am. I guess I was tired... who knew.

Oh how His ways are Not our Ways, but INFINITELY BETTER!

2009-02-17T01:33:00.000-06:00

Genesis 12:1 (NET)
Now the LORD said to Abram,
“Go out from your country, your relatives, and your father’s household
to the land that I will show you.

Sorry Kiddos that I didn’t finish out the weekend’s blog before I posted it yesterday and that it ended on kinda a downer note.
All is well, and as it ought to be because I am with Christ!!! Let’s see. What did I do Saturday… I met with Tanya and we ought her little 11 year old pupil. That was a weird way of saying that. Tanya teaches an English lesson to this little girl every week and she invited me to come along because she thought it would be interesting for us both. IT was. She was very cute and gave me a little mouse on a heart thing, a heart on a stick and a chocolate bar! So cute and so nice for Valentines day! Then after the lesson and talking a bit with Tanya I went way to the other side of town and met up with Paige and called Nastya so we could be her house guests. She came and had a gal friend with her. We went to her apt. and started cooking Chebureki. I was in charge of rolling out the dough in the circular shape, putting the meat in it and closing the dough with the impression of my fork. It was great fun… although hard work and I seemed to be a very slow learner. Then a friend of Nastya came, the Joe, and then Nastya’s Husband Zhenya. It was fun and yummy. Then we talked and hung out and I got o use their interwebs and we played with their cute bulldog Arnold and their Cockatiel Chico. IT was great. Lots of Russian practice and lots of bonding. Then we took Arnold for a walk in this cute park and we stood on the pond and I made a snow angel in it. It was childish but I didn’t mind, and I also didn’t mind if anyone else minded….
Then we went back and talked and what not. Then one of Nastya’s friends came from Moscow and then a whole bunch of their friends came over to meet with him. Nastya didn’t know he was coming over and was very apologetic that a hullaballoo was about to start, but it was great fun. One guy gave us some tulips!! Yea! Flowers on Valentine’s Day! Then Paige wanted to go home because she hadn’t been home so late and was concerned about the metro and so we americanos headed out. It was a most pleasant night, and since I already had talked to Nastya about rehab and how for that reason I don’t drink I wasn’t hounded too badly about it. I always feel that if you go to a party and one person in the in-crowd there already knew you don’t drink everything goes much more smoothly.
Sunday. Seryozha had told me to go to this church and showed me on the map how to get there and drew a map of the area for me. He told m e to go by metro, but I walked to save the 70 cents and to prepare my mind and heart. I listened to Sufian Stevens’ Christmas hymns and praised the Lord for my surroundings. I am after all in Russia!!!! HOW WONDEROUS!!! I took the scenic route and it took me about and hour and 15 minutes to get to the area he had drawn out. He hadn’t written the road names ot the house # and said the pastor would be on the street waiting for me…. I saw no one looking vaguely pastorly and after 45 minutes of wandering I abandoned it and decided to try again next week. It was about -7 degrees celcius but it felt good and God filled me up with the Holy Spirit. So I called Nastya to see if she wanted to go to the Hotel to see about me working or studying here. She was really sweet as usual and since I couldn’t find the church she was going to try to help me find one but I told her it was cool. It was cute though. She said she didn’t know if it was rude and asked if she could ask what my faith was. I said it wasn’t rude and said I’m Christian. She asked if I was Catholic, and I said no and then she sighed what sounded like a sound of relieve and said oh! Then you’re Orthodox! And I said no, I’m protestant. Then she sounded like she was thinking very hard and said she was trying to think of a church I could go to and I told her the people at the rehab are protestant too and they are helping me (this was all in Russian of course). Then when I asked if she was ready to go to the Hotel she said she had an unsual predicament because of that friend who had come over and she didn’ think it would be okay to leave . I told her it was cool and that I’d go alone. She tried to get me to call Paige or Joe but I said I was down for going it alone. I took the Sportivnaya metro to Sadovaya and walked from there to the historic Hotel Astoria. The thing was a bust. It was 100% for Russians wanting out, not for foreigners wanting to stay in… Well, it is to be expected. There were a whole bunch of Canadian Universities and Organizations and like none from the US. COME ON GUYS! WE’RE DROPPING THE BALL.
SO after asking around in Various languages until I was sure it was a lost cause I walked from Hotel Astoria to Nevsky Prospect. En route some young hooligans I was trying to ignore took notice of me and asked me a question while we were stopped at a light. I didn’t understand but just said I didn’t know… from that moment on, though I had spoken in Russian, they started saying all of the English they possibly knew. Wow….. my accent is that huge.
On Nevsky I ate at Sbarros. I ate a monster meal. 2 pieces of pizza, garlic bread, and a pepsi and a water. I sat alone with all of this food and swiftly devoured it. It was nice to be in the warm. On my phone I read my email from my mommy and shed a few tears… which amused me greatly. I dunno why those tears popped up but I am sure I was generally a sight to see: A foreigner ravenously devouring a meal for 3 and then looking at her phone and crying alone in a busy restaurant. Haha. It was funny. And if you don’t think so… you’re a dope. Good times.
From there I took the Metro to Ladoskaya then tram # 8 to the church. I go ther nce and early. It was swell. I love it there. Seryozha asked if I had gone to that church and I told him my little story and he told me the house # and asked me “u tebya little phone?” haha it was cute and funny. It means do you have a little phone…. For cellphone the Russians use the diminutive form of the word mobile so he translated it as little phone. Good times. I gave him my number and he said for me to call him next Sunday and he’d call the pastor and make sure I’ll get there okay next time.  Church was a delight. And after church we had tea and sandwiches as usual. I’ve started helping the old ladies with that because that is one thing I can do. I can both put tea bags in cups and kielbasa on bread! WOOHOO!
After church every one talked and our guest speaker told us the story of how he came to Christ and it was all wonderful and interesting. I talked a little more his time. I met a girl named Natasha and she was very nice and seemed to generally understand me and I spoke to her comfortably if not correctly.  IT was most pleasant. Then I took the tram to the metro and the metro to home. According to my in-phone pedometer I walked 11 miles… just beating how much I walked on Wednesday,
Some things I have seen in or around the metro: A man playing the accordion, a drunk man with one arm and a wooden leg in a wheel chair in a sailor’s uniform (he was asking for money on my wagon… I don’t even know how he got down the massive escalator… I think he said he was injured in the Chechnyan War…). Also I see atleats one black person everyday. Last time I was here for a week and didn’t see a single one, but I guess the black population here is growing. Yea diversity!

Monday. This morning Satan woke me up and tried to get me to miss home, but God gave me discernment and once He helped me rebuke the devil God told me some wonderous things. I’ll type an excerpt from my prayer journal here:
“Mom said something that I have been pondering “it seems like God wants you to Himself for now” because He doesn’t seem to want her to come to me… I’ve been praying about that and pondering that and I believe it is not that HE wants me to Himself fully (which of course God is a jealous God, slava Bogu!), but that as the LORD JESUS CHRIST said during His time on Earth in Luke 8:19-21 “… my mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” And I don’t feel like that was a diss to Jesus’s family, but instead a higher realization to Jesus’s bond with those He was called to minister to. Mary was a very blessed woman who we time and time again trying to glorify God. Yet Jesus said this highlighting that brotherhood in Christ is primary to any blood relation and that we are called to serve and actively love deeply certain brothers, sisters, and mothers at certain times as ordained by the LORD JESUS CHRIST! Praise God! And this calling is primary to any earthly longing to see the beloved ones we are blood related to.”
Yeah, sorry if that is kinda raw… I wrote it way early in the morning but I strongly feel it was inspired by the Holy Spirit ‘cause I don’t think that good…  And I felt the holy Spirit on me at the time. I know my mom wasn’t saying God wanted me to be isolated but the words she said struck me at truth and as prophetic so I felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to pray for the meaning of these words, which HE bountifully and mercifully gave me. Praise GOD!!
Then I went to the institute, met up with Joseph and Nastya. Put up the blog, met a girl from Spain, and talked to Tanya. Then Joseph came with me on my excursions to to get a phone card, get notebooks, and then we ate some delicious Teremok which he graciously paid for. HE is a good kid. Then we walked to my place and parted ways. My phone seemed to be malfunctional, but it was just me being malfunctional and all was well that ended well. After talking a but with Nonna, I CALLED HOME! First time I’ve talked to the fam since I’ve been in Russia!! I called mom and dad. Wonderous. I mad ethem late to work and work out… btu I’d like to think it was worth it. Then I actually put money on my phone and went to Rehab. IT was the day for the parents meeting and this one lady, Rufina…. I forget her ochestva… she latched on to me and loves me.  Be praying for her. She has lost the will to pray anymore for her son. You can tell hopelessness is slipping in. But she is nonetheless a fiery one, and has invited me to tea, and wants me to meet her son, and taught me some random Russian words and corrected my grammar and pronunciation a lot. Please to pray for her. The Anglophile version of her name is Ruth, if that is how you want to pray for her (God knows who you mean). It kinda makes sense that I might have a decent ministry with these older ladies and perhaps it is what God is calling me to in part. I’ve always had a keen connection with older ladies and they tend to want to talk more than listen which works well with my speaking difficulty.
Please be praying that God would tell me exactly how long to stay here and what to do here. I feel that the Lord is calling me to stay here longer than I had tentatively intended… but I don’t know how to acquire the visa (or rather through which avenue), what He wants from me (to do for example), or for how long, or how this will affect any possible studies or scholarships, or whether I’ll even ever need those scholarships again…. Etc. Pray that the Lord is clear to me and soothes all of our emotions about it and makes my path straight.
Now I am at Elena Borisovna’s.  Nonna and I had some pineapple juice earlier and she played bar tender and we got straws and lemons and it wass fun. And she taught me several conjugations I didn’t know and a few new words.  Pray for my Russian learning and retention and grammar!!! AS PER USUAL!!!! PLEASE BE DILIGENT IN THIS MATTER, also For God to open doors and make me willing and able to serve, and for discernment and increase prophesy and the ability to tell it…. It is interesting that the Lord gave me the gift of prophesy … and then sent me to a country where I virtually cannot speak. Oh how His ways are Not our Ways, but INFINITELY BETTER!

2009-02-16T04:44:00.000-06:00

Today, Friday, was a down day emotionally. I say that but it wasn’t a bad day by any means. Everything that happened was highly pleasant. I think it is a scientific mixture of my body not being physically capable of making enough endorphins to sustain my bliss, and some spiritual attacks. Anxiety and codependency, two of my main issues of bondage, are trying desperately to creep into my life. Throw in an (un)healthy portion of pride and we’ve got an incredibly serious spiritual battle. It seems I may be giving Satan some footing in those areas and could use oodles of prayer (and wouldn’t mind encouragement and verses that you all find apropos). THANK YOU!! GOD BLESS YOU!!
Today, Friday the 13th, we all slept in. Nonna, Elena Borisovna, and I all planned on going at 11 to the MegaMart thingy (which is really just a mall). But at 10:47 Nonna knocked on my door to find me asleep and I apologized until I realized she too was in her pjs and she said we’re going later because we all slept in.  haha. So we got ready, ate breakfast, and left. At the mall we met up with Elena Borisovna’s old classmate who we call tyotya…. Something…. I don’t remember. So we went shopping. It was fun and I got to eat Subway at the food court and I ended up buying a shirt for 250 rubles (about 7 dollars). Almost Everything was on a good sale, and this apparently is an even that happens 2 times a year. We had fun and did some “family” bonding. The mall is way on the other side of town, and in the opposite direction of the rehab office. They told me I could catch the bus to the metro and head out whenever I wanted. Then I prayed about when to leave and God seemed to be saying I’d get there at 7, and I asked if I could get there at 6 and He said sure… then leave at 4:30. It was 4:45 at the time. It is cute when God says stuff like that to me. So I waited until 5 and departed. I got there at like 6:30. God really knows his public transport timetables (and everything else ever! : ) ). I got there and it was just Seryozha and he said he’d wait another 30 minutes to see if we’d get anymore intakes. We talked and he gave me directions to the church he used to go to and really highly recommends. He said maybe I’d find my family there… I felt like saying little do you know I already have!! But I have already told him that I was always (Lord willing) gonna go to Sunday nights and told him about God waking me up and having me read what we read on Sunday (I said it in crap Russian so only God knows if he understood, the poor guy…). He said I could go there on at 1 and also go to our thing on Sunday at 5. This Sunday from 12 to 5 is the thingy Nastya wants me to go to about how to study here more permanently and how t work here. I really wanna do all three, so we will see if God can work all of that out for me (PLEASE LORD!!!). I guess by the time I post this, you will already know the conclusion to what at this time is a cliffhanger to me… and of course, God already knows too. So after talking about that church and about the guy who is prematurely leaving rehab and how we need to pray for him and how I Am Legend has a beautiful biblical allegory (…okay so it was mostly him talking… although right before he went into the allegory bit I tried to explain to him how I love zombies… then I totally felt a fool when he discussed the movie’s spiritual merits… haha, I probably seem so base). No one came so we discussed something I didn’t quite understand and I left. …in slight confusion and the heavy feeling of guilt. I wasn’t quite sure what I was guilty of, but man I sure was guilty. I now feel that that was spiritual warfare, working my guilt gene and weaving in Anxiety and a few other sins. It was really quite impressive work and while I was dying to call Caroline or someone about it, after calling Paige for a bit I eventually surrendered at least the bulk of it to God and realized the spiritual warfare aspect of it. Seriously, demons are all the frick over the place. It feels so rare that I get respite from their presence. I guess there is a time and a season for everything, and praise the Lord I get to look forward to another season of spiritual Rest someday. At least I’ve got buckets of joy, even if peace is occasionally being crushed by anxiety. I came home exactly when Nonna and Elena Borisovna were coming home (cool, Jesus), and then went to my room and spent buckets of time trying to figure out anyway to call or contact home using any sim card ever or praying for miraculous wifi, and even trying to hack local wifi networks, and then emailing papi and caroline on my phone forever. Yeah. So I should have gone to God. Eventually after eating with the fam and more futile efforts, I did another beth moore lesson and am now writing you guys. I feel some serious anxiety now… it seems to be welling up from somewhere, so in a sec I need to go surrender it….

Okay kiddos... I am at school and I didn't finish writing this blog.... so you might have to wait for Saturday, and Sunday and today.... sOrry. But at least you are getting something.

Another Good Day, Thanks to the Good Lord Jesus!

2009-02-12T03:45:00.000-06:00

Today (Tuesday) was once again wonderous, Praise the Lord!
I woke up and after reading the Lord’s glorious Word Paige called me to tell me that the class we were going to doesn’t start until March 2nd. This was a pleasant surprised but became less pleasant when we realized that Joe didn’t know this delightful fact and that he doesn’t have a cell phone. I bit the bullet and got to him before he waited too long. He has had a crap time getting here and I’ll be darned if I don’t do anything to help make his stay here a little less of a crapfest. He is really cool about it all though. Since I got there early I got to get on the interwebs, hence that most recent post, and I got an AMAZING email from my MOMMY saying that she saved the day (with the help of the Jesus-man) and got my atm card situation. I also got to chat Joe’s ear off and meet his sister via skype. Yea.
Then Paige came and we were amused by the rockin’ awesome pic of them that I posted. Then we met with Nastya briefly and went to each of our respective classes. Mine was the same class room with the same lecture that I had gone to the first day… the lecturer who didn’t like us there. But whatever, at least Paige didn’t have to endure it this time, and I wasn’t tempted to write notes to anyone to escape. I did learn some. The class is Actual Problems of World Social Groups (at least that is my crap translation). Today we learned about the Azerbaijan-Armenian conflicts and about a bit about China and Tibet. I certainly didn’t catch it all but I think it will be interesting even if she doesn’t ever look at me. I already have prayed about what classes to take, and turned in the classes God selected with me. Then we 4 met back up, Nastya gave me a copy of Zeitgeist {which is this … documentary… ish thing about how Jesus’s life is supposedly based on Horace (the Egyptian god) and astrology and 9-11 was done by the US government and the US economy is run by bankers who decide when we go to war and plan events like Pearl Harbor and 9-11 for us to go to war or to take away our freedom (they even mentioned the OKC bombing}. We walked around a bit. I went to an ATM. And Nastya walked me and Paige to my home and we parted ways and Paige came with me and we watched Zeitgeist. To give you some background, Natasha told us that this movie is the reason she doesn’t believe in God… and the girls have mentioned it everyday we’ve seen them. After the movie Nastya told me to call her and I did. She and Natasha and Tanya had been waiting for us and trying to get a hold of Joseph. Paige was beat, so she walked with me to the Metro where we met the girls and then she went home. The gals and I went on to Nevsky, and Natasha headed home, but not before I had discussed a bit about zeitgeist. Haha. I kinda felt like by disagreeing with the movie I was coming off as a cog or something that took things on “the man’s” authority. But it was just bad scholarship to begin with… but I don’t know how to say that in Russian, so I don’t know how I came off. Oh, Nastya invited Paige and I to her home to eat on Saturday, and Tanya invited me to go to her English class on Saturday and also told me about a Russian Festival movie she thought we would like. We met up with Nastya’s husband in the metro and found a teremok stand and ate there. Then we took some back alley to some little library that Tanya wanted to go to and then we parted ways with Tanya. So Nastya Zhena and I decided to go to a movie. We headed that way and got the tickets, which I had to borrow some money because I left my bulk at home. Then we needed to kill some time before the movie so we walked around to look for a statue of a cat that if you throw kopecks at and get it to land on the cat your wish will come true. We found where he was, but he wasn’t there, so we wondered where he could’ve gone. Then we walked some more and found the coolest store ever. It was awesome. It was like some boutique of a crafters mall, I guess you could say and they had made a lot of old stuff into cool new stuff, which is cool all by itself, but even cooler because it was all Russian and mostly made of old soviet era stuff! 
Then we went to an indoor Teremok and had tea. It was fun. At some point Nastya showed me this flyer of this like… education or career fair thing that will come to st. pete and will in part talk about how foreigners can go to school here. She really wants us to go and see if I can take the rest of my courses in Russia. She said that here Psychology (or whatever) is a very hard study and she is concerned that I may have to take more courses in Russia even after I complete my schooling in the US. Plus she thinks it would be way cool if I lived for this time. I think it would be really cool too, if it is God’s will, but to be honest I haven’t given any serious thought or prayer to it as of now, so don’t worry fam. It isn’t time to fret yet. One day at a time.  Then we went to the movie, I don’t know its name…. but it has Angelina Jolie and is Directed by Clint Eastwood. We all agreed it was WAY good, but I for one hope I never see it again. It was sad and stressful to me to the point that I was sore afterwards. The movie theater wasn’t always a movie theater I think. It looked like it might have been a ballroom or a theatre-theater or something. Way pretty. Then we walked on the all but deserted Nevsky to the Metro and parted with her telling me I better call her when I get home. I got home just fine, although I saw the beginnings of what sounded like a drunken brawl just outside my Metro station. I didn’t look to see if that is what it ended up being because I was on default Daugavpilian mode –don’t look and act mad and like you know what you are doing- but in retrospect it is a good thing I didn’t know for sure because I might have gone into my inherited “hero” mode and tried to break it up or something, which might not have been Ideal when walking home alone at 11:40 at night in a foreign country. So anyways, I got home without incident, called Nastya who thanked me for calling and ate and talked to Nonna a bit and am now listening to Praise music, loving me some Jesus, and writing you.
I really wanted to go to Rehab today. REALLY. I even called to see if I could but they said something about it only being at church today and sounded against me going, and said I could come tomorrow… what time I forget (as usual) but I think at 6. I am thankful that God somehow got me through a day without my brothers and sisters there!!! I really do love it there!!  Praise the good Lord Jesus!

I recognize that I have an underlying feeling of missing my family and friends and I also have un underlying “rational” concern that this is what they call the “honey moon phase” of my journey, but as a friend of mine said once “ride it […] ride it straight to hell!” and while luckily this wave leads to no such place, I think I’ll stick around for the ride. Plus, no psychological guide to studying or living abroad I have ever found accounts for the grace and joy of the Holy Spirit.

Okay... so that was tuesday... now for Wednesday. I got to sleep in, then Paige called and then Jo called. I met Joe at his metro and we met Paige on Nevsky Prospekt. We figured out and documented which ATM ate Joe's card and found a christian bookstore where after much looking and reading and analyzing and much patience from Paige and Joe and I bought a Russian Bible.... My bilingual new testament fell apart. IT is still totally usable and it has served me well, but it was time to get a full bible, and one in Russian because I dunno where to get an English one and because I need it for the ministry. Then we went to the cool shop that Nastya Zhena and I found and Ishowed them the splendor. Then we went to a ritzy hat shop and Paige an dI tried on hats for kicks. IT reminded me of liek thoroughly modern millie of something. Then We went back to Dom Knigi (the huge bookstore) and got maps and Paige got Lotita in Russian. Then we parted ways. Jo and I got our computers and went to the MacDonalds in hope of food and interwebs. the Interwebs were not to be found. So we ate and parted ways. Nastya called to talk to me about getting a translation job. I guess she looked into it for me and since I have a study Visa I couldn't do so now, but she would like to go with me today, Thursday, to see about using them as a venue for gettign another invitation to Russia. It sounds liek I would be translating texts from Russian to English. Last night I prayed about it and I really don't feel like that is how God wants me to be spending much of my time, but it seems lke He is saying I can look into it, but it is not HIS purpose for my being here (OF COURSE!).
Then I went to the Rehab office. The Metro on the way there was RIDICULOUS. I guess it was Rush hour. horrible. I tried to get there at 6 and got the at like 6:40, but when I got there and knocked on the door a guy opened the door and asked em to wait 2 minutes. :) I needed that time to recenter myself in Christ. I had been anxious about being late and though I LOVE it at Rehab I had almost seriously considered turning around and going home when I was almost there because the devil and my own anxiety were getting me down about being late and telling me not to bother them. So I sat down and got recentered adnd felt the filling of the Spirit. Then they had me coem in and told me to sit down. Seryozha asked it I like Pineapple and asked if I wanted some an dI after hesitation said yes and then he opened a can of mixed fruit and was amazed that it wasn't pineapple. But we got out plastic spoons and ate it out of the can. :) and he asked if I wanted tea and I said yes and he made a big deal about how much he loved my decisiveness and stuff. It of course made me happy. On Monday when I went to the Rehab office and we had the parent meeting everyone was tryign to get me to eat sandwiches and I wasn't in the mood, so I politely said no thank you. The guys there made a big deal about it and asked if I was trying to lose weight or if I wasn't eatign because it was after 6 of 8 or soemhtign and I said "I eat when I want to." and Seryozha said in Russian Glory to God! (or as we would more likely say praise Jesus!) so I feel this was a continuation of that convo. I told them I bought my first Russian Bible and showed them they told me I should've gotten one with a zipper and text references and tabs and that I should go return it. It was cute that they wanted me to have a bible with all of the bells and whistles, but I prayed abotu it and I don't think I am gonna return this one for now. I like it. Then Seryozha showe me his Bible and told me it was old (it couldn't have been more than 7 years old according to the copy right) and he asked it I liek it. I liked that he showed me his bible. I dunno why but it made me happy. then more people came and we went to a classroom and had a Bible study. The only other woman there had brought her little girl and she ended up leaving half way through because she couldn't consentrate. I now think I should have gone into another room wiht the kid and tried to play with her so her mom could focus but I felt awkward about it at the time. I don't like to talk very much when a lot of people are around. IT makes me keenly aware of how bad my Russian is, and I don't even like talking to kids in public in America because I start acting liek a kid and it makes me feel silly wiht adults around. Anyways so we had a Bible study about Genesis 37. Joseph getting sold by his brothers. It was a small group and we each read 4 verses. That was terifying... especially because when it was my turn to read I knew I was in the wrong chapter but didn't knwo what chapter was right and when I asked they just kept tellign me the verse... and then I read in my terrible Russian. sad. When I was trying to figure out where to read, pretty much all of the guys wanted to skip my readign but Seryosha said I would read because I am learning Russian and I want to. IT was sweet of him to back me. I got it over with. Then after we read it all we went aroung and summarized and anaylze the passages we had read. I failed at this... I wasn't even sure what we were doing and I stalled until someone filled in. Oh, and when I read and couldn't read a word Seryozha helped me. He also has said on 2 different occations thaat I am one of them and that I am Russian. That makes me happy. After the bible lesson we prayed again anf they said if in your heart you feel so compelled to pray, then do so. The Spirit was leadign me to pray. I was sure of this but I was also aware of my inability to pray in Russian which I know from recent experience, to I prayed in English. IT felt good. I LOVE JESUS!!! :) hehe If I had written this last night there would be alot more of those little joyous asides. Then we said the Lord's Prayer (which I really need to memorize in Russian). When we were moving the chairs and desks back I picked up a table and turned it around... that got an interesting reaction. They started talkign about how strong I am and howI am a Russian woman.... I guess women here don't lift anythign of the lightest weight when men or around... or they think American women are panzies or soemthing. and when we went outside I held the door open for everyone out of habit and they also handled that strangely. We went outside and 3 of the men started talking to me about where I am from, where I've lived, how old I am etc. and Seryozha say from afar and thought they were hassling me so he told them to leave me alone and they tried to explain that we were just talking, and he verified that with me, and they made alot of jokes abotu Seryozha saving me and that he would beat them up for me and Right when I was about to say that I could to it myself, another guy (the one who gave me the music) swoped in and said indicated that he was walking me to the Metro (which I have always walked from Rehab alone...) and the men told me God bless me (some in russian some in English) and we left. I chatted a bit with the guy walking me and he helped me a but on the Really slick places.. I almost fell on the way to Rehab so while I knew I didn't need the help I didn't mind it. When he started to go to th Metro a different way than I usually do I went my way an dhe laughed really hard and said soemhtign I didn't quite understand and I told him that his way was slippery and he said that was completey understandable... I think I might be getting a rep for eing cray-cray independant or something... whatever.

When I got home Nonna and I talked a long time and she showed me some picture of when they went to Sweden and of the Summer and stuff like that. She invited em to go shopping wiht them on Saturday morning I said I would. Friday evening is Rehab. I wish I was there right now!!! I am at school and it is so boring.
I wanna live at the Rehab office. and I told them so. Thankyou guys back hoem for your encouragement. Especially Cher and Aunt Connie (I think that is a fitting title for you... what do you think?)! It was very encouraging for you so bring up teh possibility that I am encouraging them with my presence. And thanks cher for your encouragement and sayign that I may be sent here to preach to you! hehehe. that wa encouraging and was nice to here because I have been tryognt o figure otu what the heck God means when he said to me "Preach my word" how can they preach if they cannot speak? anyways, I LOVE YOU!!!!!

I am lovign your prayers for me and could use more!!! Please pray that I pick up my cross daily and that I am pruned of all distractions! I LOVE YOU!!!

(pictures of the sign for the cool shop we wnet to, the statues in the movie theatre we went to, the sunset at the Area by the Rehab office on a warm day of thawing snow)

A GOOD DAY KIDDOS!!!

2009-02-10T02:31:00.000-06:00

I Love Jesus So much! He is the most amazing all and all I could ever ask for! He supplies everything and I am continually left without wanting. I got back from the rehab office. I LOVE THAT PLACE. I want to go every day of my life. Seriously, I was the last female to leave and I only left because I didn’t know how else to help or do anything and I didn’t want to be a nuisance (plus I thought I better make my “lonely” night trek before it got too incredibly late). But seriously! I LOVE THEM! PRAISE THE LORD JESUS FOR GIVING ME A CHURCH FAMILY WHERE I AM FED AND CAN THEORITICALLY SERVE TOO! Pray that the Lord makes me a usable tool here!!!! I basically just sit and talk when spoken to… if I can manage that. Sergey told me today that I am one of them. It made me very happy! Everything about that place and those people make me happy! I am SO FILLED WITH JOY and the HOLY SPIRIT and keenly aware of it PRAISE THE LORD! Please be praying that the Lord shows me my niche of service here and helps me fill it. I feel like I am just taking even though I was sent here to serve, at least I think that is why I was sent… All I really know is that I was sent… and that HE said “Go to Russia and preach MY word.” But how can I preach if I cannot speak? What is preaching really? Oh, Jesus! I love you SOOO MUCH! I love you all very much but I am dying to go pray, so I am going to go do that! God bless you!!! BYE BYE!!!

Ok. I’m back! So yesterday we met at the institute and met Joe. He is also from the Uni and is cool. We had no clue who he was and had heard he was sick and wouldn’t be able to join us for a week. This made him very mysterious and that was added to the fact that he doesn’t have a facebook. So I was expecting some one very odd… and perhaps like a baby raptor. But he is nothing like a baby raptor. He is a real live human being.
Then Nastya and Natasha met up with us and the 5 of us went to Nevsky Prospect and the Hermitage and every place pretty. It was fun and I got to talk a lot in Russian. Poor Joe put his atm card in a machine and it said it was retained and when we asked the bank what was up they said that it was being shipped to Moscow…. WOW and his first full day here.
Then I went to Rehab and it was freaking amazing!!! It was the night the parents of the addicts meet. IT was wonderous. Ok I’m outtie.

(Pics- the most amazing picture ever: a walking picture of Paige explaining somehtign to Joe, me in the caf, Paige in the caf, me in the caf, pretty, Non-Raptor Joe, prrof of my Russian friends- Nastya and Natasha)

Sleeps wanted

2009-02-09T03:24:00.000-06:00

I don’t know if I can imagine being more tired. SO TIRED. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIRED. That is all I can write right now.

Haha. I don’t know when I wrote that, but since I saved it let it stand. … I think it might have been wither wed. or Thursday. Man am I beat, even now. And that is despite the fact that I woke up for the final time at about 2:30 pm. I’ll start with what happened today, Sunday, and go back from there. I LOVE JESUS!! HE IS MY LIFE AND MY EVERYTHING! I HAVE NOTHING BU THE LORD! This week I so shamefully neglected the Lord, or perhaps to put it better, neglected my need for HIM. The Lord is SO SWEET AND LOVING AND FORGIVING! Even though I am the one who always screws up, HE so lovingly pursues me and wins ME back. HA! I am amazed that is the exact opposite if any human relationship I have ever heard of. Last night I went to bed decently late because I came home from a birthday party, and as I went to bed I was trying to decide which church(s) to go to. [AW YEAH! I am listening to this cd that this guy at the Rehab office gave me and I just heard some Rockin’ harmonica and it just made my life] Anyways, the Central Baptist Church seemed a little too early for me (starts at 10 am and transit to anywhere takes TIME) but I was praying about it and opted for “Lord, if you want me to go, Wake me up.” … the Lord woke me up at about 7:30. I was not entirely pleased about it, and told God that I hope He realized that when I said wake me up if You want me to go, I was really hoping He didn’t. The Lord was loving and patient and eventually informed me that He simply wanted me to spend some quality time with Him. In that moment I realized how very much I had been neglecting my relationship with Him. How do I do these things????? I am here for HIM and the first week I am here I totally out of it. How can it be easier to trust HIM with the big and not the little? Doesn’t even HE say it is the other way around, that when we trust with the little, we will then trust with the big? I hadn’t noticed my terrible neglect because I have been quite occupied and have been reading the Bible and praying daily, but I have been far from continuously communicating and far from being engrossed in the Word. I read the Bible in the mornings and lately at that time I feel like I have just awoken from a coma. My prayer life this week was sporadic, which is SO STUPID because I know I always need HIM, and in the stressful, new anxiety filled I am in I should be even more keenly aware of that and be gripping to the cRoss that saves.
Anywho, enough about my bondage, let us instead talk about our SAVIOR AND SALVATION! So this morning the Lord woke me up and had me read in Luke, as he has been doing so lately. He awakened my senses to feel His intense closeness, warmth, and love. I cannot describe how wonderful it was! I read Luke 4-5. When I read 4 I didn’t feel like that was the main reason I was reading, although I was reminded by the Lord’s temptation to Rebuke any evil in my midst and send it far away. And I am pretty sure that was some evil hanging around since it seems that recently the prince of darkness has been using my dreams to attack and tempt me and a nightmare actually woke me up (one about Zombies and Vampires) – but what I love SO much is that God uses ALL things for the good of those who love Him. ALL things. He used a nightmare to awaken me to spend the most intimate time with Him I have been graced with since I left America and set the day up for perfection. OH LORD YOU ARE SOOO GOOD! So after I read 4 I felt called to read 5 too, even though I usually only read a chapter a day.
I am so blessed to be HIS! After reading and a time of prayer the Lord told me to go back to sleep. When I woke up it was about 2:30- perfect for me to get ready and go to church and relax a bit.  I ate and talked to Nonna and Elena Borisovna who were amazed at my presence because they thought I must have already left (I usually leave the house before either of them wake up). Nonna told me that she had only woken up an hour earlier. Then I took a shower, got ready and went to church. TO get to this Church (the Ex-Addict “social” Baptist Church) I use 3 metro lines and a tram line. I got there without incident except the building it was in was creepy and slightly reminded me of the apartment building in A Clockwork Orange, and I didn’t know what floor it was on but was in the elevator with another guy so I got off on the fourth and walked down the stairs trying to text someone who knew when I ran into Volodya who asked me where I was going and why I didn’t call I told him I was calling him, and we went in. I thought I was early…. But I was late. 
We meet in an Autoschool. There are too many people for seats so I stood the whole time, although every time someone would look up and see me standing they would offer me their chair. I cried at church I was so happy to be with my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. They call eactoer brother and sister a lot. At first it made me kind of uncomfortable, but that is just because it reminds me of the Mormons that I met in Latvia. But now it just makes me happy. Like today after church when we all were snacking and having chai, a guy walked by and was talking to himself and as he passed me started talking to himself in English then he started laughing and we looked at each other and he said to me in Russian “When I saw my sister I automatically start talking in English!” hehe.
The service was good. I need a new Russian Bible. Well, I guess just a new bible, they use I different translation than me and it is better. Shortly after I got there I man got up and said he was going to talk about service, he then read Mark 2:40-42. The man with leprosy. Exactly what the Lord had called me to Read in Luke when He had me read on. That was the Lord’s way of telling me that this is the church for me. And when I asked if I should go to the other churches to he seemed to be protiv hahah I mean against. (yupp when I mess up I just leave it in these days). So the Lord has given me a church on the First Sunday I successfully go to one!
I got an email today from the church I went to last time I was here and they gave me directions and told me that I was always welcome and that they have an English club on Friday nights and that I am welcome to come anytime and they’d love help. I will pray about whether or not to do that. That somewhat seems perfect to me, but the Lord hasn’t said anything pro about it, so what do I know! I am so filled with JOY!
So back to church! We talked about the faith of the Leper and the deep Love of the Lord and how the Lord touched the Leper instead of using any other method to heal him and we talked about how each of us are like the Leper that in the depth of us being absolutely Unclean, though in our case spiritually unclean, the lord reached out and touched us, which is so intimate and healing to our souls and is exactly what we need and needed. He went on to compare addiction to leprosy which was a beautiful comparison. We sang a lot and as we sang I cried most wonderful, spirit-filled, cathartic tears. Another guy, Nikolai, went up and read from another section of the Bible, but I totally don’t remember where… naughty me. But I truly felt fed today. The Lord is faithful to provide for His children. I know the Lord will always provide for me and I especially feel the promise His provision for this stay in Russia. Dad would like the format of the service. It is very interactive. Whoever is preaching often asks questions so the crowd. At one point a guys said whoever wants to come up and sing can do so now, and a guy came up and led us in a song of worship. After the service I was able to meet some people and they set up some tea and biscuits and sandwiches. I don’t know if I will ever remember everyone’s names… or anyones names for that matter. Ah.. tragic. I talked to a guy from church in the Metro for a bit, he is the one who had given me the CD and he asked me about it. Then I got home and ate and am writing this. I have to admit that walking home from, and even in the Metro I couldn’t help from smile, but at least I didn’t dance like I had wanted to! I am so filled with the LORD’s joy! PRAISE HIS NAME!!! ALL THE EARTH!!!!

I’ve seen six different black guys in 6 days. Cray-cray.

Please be praying that I surrender all! My petty flesh wants to live for itself and is mesmerized by the new environment it is in. Pray that I DIE to MYSELF. I want to be more dead than I have ever been so I can live more fully. I have talked to almost no one about anything about God, except for those at Rehab and those at Church. what a fool I am. Lord, give Wisdom to the Fool.
… and now if people ask I have to tell them I am Baptist…. Honestly I was really holding on to saying I am Presbyterian to avoid the occult connotations. Oh, well, I guess the judgment I may receive is a mild form of suffering for the Cross, so GLORY BE TO GOD!
AH! I love Jesus so much I just wanna talk about this FOREVER and not tell you anything about what I have been idly spending my time doing this week. I am getting sick. Pray for healing.
Paige and I met Nastya, Natasha, and Tanya at the institute. They seem cool and they have all hung out with us outside of school. Nastya and Natasha showed us around the area around the school the day after Tanya did. Hehe. Then on Saturday Tanya and Natasha took us to 2 museums. Nastya wanted to but couldn’t make it. But we didn’t go to the Hermitage yet so I thing we are going to do that another time with them. Then we all parted ways and I went home and got my ATM card rejected 2 times… pray about that… then I asked about getting my hair dyed blue at a local salon and they gave me a card and told me to call which I haven’t done yet. Then I went to Paige’s after buying some flowers because there was a birthday party for Irina, Paige’s … house cousin. So I stayed there until the metros had already closed down because they offered me a ride home and it was swell. The ride home was nauseating, but also amazing because it was almost like a tour for me… haha. I only travel slowly and tiresomely on foot or see nothing because I am underground. Cars! What a novelty! The party was fun! We discussed politics and economics and it seems to be a popular belief here that 9-11 was planned by the American gov’t. I say that based on 1 convo so take it with a grain of salt. So I was asked whether I believed that and also asked why America is in an economic depression. I at first said I didn’t know why, but later after discussing with Paige in English, primarily blamed the war. Paige and I spent much of the time talking together in English and it was good bonding time for us. When we are exploring the city we tend to be on the pissy side, but last night we were laughing a lot and having a really good time. I need to be more Christ-like and less pissy, despite my opinion that is it reactionary. At first I was the only one not drinking wine. I drank juice. It was yummy. When they asked me why I wasn’t drinking wine I said I don’t drink, and when they asked why I said that I work at a Rehabilitation Center for Addicts and Alcoholics and that if I tell them I drink it is bad for them (yeah… I am pretty sure that is the crappy direct translation) so Irina jokingly said Don’t tell them, and I retorted that I also don’t lie….
I like the people we hung out with last night a lot. They were fun and sweet and understanding about my lack of language skills. And the 2 guys there only had half a glass of wine each and then joined me in the juice club. One of the guys even pointed out to me that it seemed l the Russian men and the American girl weren’t drinking, so it seems that only Russian women drink… of course that was discounting Paige, but at least he was making me feel at ease for not drinking. It was an excellent thing to do.
Friday Paige and I ran errands and I ate at Pizza hut for lunch (breakfast and dinner are provided by our host, but not lunch). We also went to a movie theatre and saw
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, in Russian of course. It was pretty good. I don’t know what It is about seeing a movie in the theatre, but it is SO therapeutic to me. It is like I am back in Oklahoma despite the language change. I felt that way in Lativa, and I feel it almost more profoundly here. In Latvia I felt pretty at home when I was at the house, but here even my room feels distinctly foreign. My cultural refuges so far are the movie theater and, strangely enough, the Metro. I feel at home in the metro. The metro has such diverse meaning to me. IT is a perfect place for prayer walking, for soaking up Russian media, faces, and culture, or for putting in headphones and being rocked back and forth into peaceful relaxation. Anyways after the movie it was metro Rush hour but we were way close to my house to Paige came home with me and we watched A Clockwork Orange to while away the time for the Metro to clear out a bit.
Thursday. We went to one class… it was Philosophy and the lecturer talks really fast and it was so hard to understand. SO Paige and I drifted into zone out mode and wrote notes…. which is basically what the other students did too. I cannot focus when no one else is… I am gonna have to scoot up or something if I expect to get anything out of that class. When I am done with writing this note I am going to go pray about which classes to take. Then we were introduced to Nastya and Natasha who showed us around the area, facebook friended us and call us almost every day. They are really sweet. Natasha even bought Paige the Russian version of computer cord she needed so she can now charge her computer.
Seriously. They are SO sweet and SO willing and enthusiastic about hanging out with us! After hanging with them for quite some time they went back to learning, and I went to the Rehab center for the second day in a row. This was the day I met Valera. He is the guy I had been talking back and forth with when I was in America and Latvia. There were a lot of people there this time. It was awesome. We had sandwiches and had tea and talked and it was really swell. I had a hard time understanding and talking… my brain was tired from school and hanging with the girls. I think that much have been the day I wrote the entry to this note. I was sooo beat but couldn’t sleep so I played spider solitaire for like 40 minutes.. ha, and to think I could’ve been spending quality time with Jesus. Silly girl

Well. I love you all! I am hopefully gonna go pray now! Bye!

First Real Post From Russia

2009-02-05T01:05:00.000-06:00

Hello beloved.
I suppose a lot has happened…. I don’t really know where to start. I guess I should start with goodbyes. I said goodbye to Latvia and cried a little. I cried especially before and after saying goodbye to Vitalik and I must say that our goodbye was perhaps the sweetest goodbye of my entire life. Papa and Veronika took me to the train station, and helped me get my bags on the train and tried to help me with the documents I had to fill out before they were shoo’ed off the train.
IT was a quite enjoyable train ride. I could lay down, which WAY beats an airplane. And the toilet was surprisingly clean and had toilet paper, a toilet seat, soap, and paper towels. I cannot express how pleasantly surprised I was! The train was old and delightful. I filled out my documents and read some WWZ and pretended to sleep, when a babushka who was to sit across from me showed up and was very huffy about my excessive amount of bags. She made the stewardess lady come and wake me up, so I could do something about it but there was really nothing I could do. From then on every time I appeared to be away the babushka talked to me. She asked me where I was from and I straight up said America, I don’t like to lie, it is a sin if I recall correctly. But now if I am in a tight spot I can always say I came here from Latvia… that is true right? But so far I have just answered honestly, but only really babushkas have asked me. I like to talk to babushkas. Unless they are the pissy ones they are nice and speak slowly and about nothing in particular and usually just because they enjoy talking, so I don’t have to much work. I can just listen mostly. She told me about her daughters and granddaughters, etc. I sometimes pretended like I was asleep so I could read without her talking to me, but it was all pleasant. At the border I got my bag searched, which was fun. He said something official sounding which I didn’t understand so I got up and said “chto” (what?) and he asked if I knew Russian and I said that my Russian was bad, so he asked if I spoke German and I said I didn’t he said “jasno” and from then on spoke along with grandiose gestures which were surprisingly helpful. It was kinda funny though, because I had locked my luggage and that made it a little harder for me.
When we got to the station I got to carry (not roll… not enough space) all of my bags down the aisle to the wagon’s exit. There I was greeted by Elena (not the one I live with but a different one), who was astounded by the sheer magnitude of what I brought… yeah. The Director from my Latvian school- when I went to meet her said that she had a female cousin in st. pete and she called her and her son had studied through afs in Tulsa, Oklahoma (of all places). Anyways I guess he called Elena, and he carried my bags and was our chauffer. He was SO nice and drove me home via the scenic route, hitting all of the main spots in town and telling me about them. It was SO nice. So get home, which is such a beautiful building and go upstairs of this awesome rickety elevator and am greeted by Elena Borisovna ( and Nora the black and white spaniel).
Elena Borisonova chided Elena for not informing her of the exact times of my arrival and said that she was only aware I was coming because I had talked to them online. It was cute, and I don’t want to cross her. But very Russian-y and a good welcome I think. I said goodbye to my caravan and got a mini tour of our HUGE APT. and was shown my room (which is the biggest room I’ve ever lived alone in in my life). Elena Borisonova asked me if I wanted to eat and I said that I didn’t, and instead wanted to sleep, so she let me to my room. There, instead of sleeping I unpacked, and after a while she came and knocked on the door and asked me to eat. So I went to the kitchen and we ate blini together and drank tea. Then I went back to my room, pretty much finished unpacking, found a nook for my bags and unsuccessfully to sleep. Then I had to pee so I went to the bathroom. Our apt so big that you have to walk down a long hallway from the toilet to the bathtub, which is where we wash our hands. In route to wash my hands I met Nonna. I am pretty sure that I looked frightened and guilty (because I had not yet washed my hands and I am hardcore about that), and she gave me a questioning look that seemed to be questioning my look. Then, after I washed my hands we all got acquainted in the kitchen. I don’t really know what I did after that… maybe read. Then I met Elena Borisanova’s son who came to close my window… I dunno. IT is weird they have the same kind of window as we have in Latvia but they don’t want me to open it by myself in case I hurt it or something….
Then Elena Borisonova went with me to get a sim card and she had so use her passport and sign for it herself, for reasons I am unsure of. But that was very kind of her. I put it in my phone and she pointed me in the direction of the nearest metro and we parted ways. I used the metro to get way the crap on the other side of town, and then got on tram #8 to get to the house-church that I was supposed to meet the rehab people at. Elena Borisanova thought I was supposed to be at the metro station at 6, but I was supposed to be at the church at 6, so when I finally get of the tram I it is 6:40. I don’t know the exact location of the church. The plan was to call when I got there…. But now I don’t wanna call and interrupt church. So I walk aimlessly until 7:15 (in -7 or so degrees Celsius). IT wasn’t too bad because my coat was warm, but though I told myself I’d call at 7:30 I gave in at 7:15. But they didn’t answer so I found a store with like double doors and stood there, so that I was out of the cold but not in a store. When I called at 7:30 he answered and I explained who I was and where I was and said I wanted to meet. He gave me the address and I again wandered relatively aimlessly trying to find it, and asking random passerbys for help. They were always kind and did what they could. I eventually called again and got to the right building but I needed to get on the 4th floor and it was unclear what door to go through or what, and then this other guy called me and tried to talk me over. Eventually we all met up and since church was over I was invited to drink tea at Volodya’s house to discuss things. Volodya is married and has 2 WAY adorable kids. His wife prepared the tea and we all discussed what I believe and what they do at the center and at what times. Everyone who goes to their church and works at the rehab doesn’t drink a drop, and doesn’t smoke, because of the verse about not making your brother stumble. So, that now makes me a tea-totaler… in Russia. Wa?
Then I got home via bus and metro without incident. hurray! Elena Borisonova had made the most amazing food ever (yes, I was incredibly hungry and worn out so… who knows how good it really was, bu that is irrelevant). It was macaroni and then this meaty sauce stuff. It was like hamburger helper made from scratch. I then SHOWERED. My first shower THIS YEAR. Shortly thereafter I went to bed, COMPLETELY BEAT.
The next day was my first day at the institute. They had me be there at 10. I got there gave them my documents, and took a placement test. I hate russian tests of any kind. Every shred of information leaves my mind and I ALWAYS bomb. Otherwise I am a pretty good test taker, but Russian is in so many ways my bane. Paige came in while I was taking my test (she is the only girl I knew before I got here) and took hers too. I was taking the advanced test that was COMPLETELY GRAMMAR *ahhh!!! I’m in hell!* (as dad might say). Paige took the intermediate test and it was completely vocab. Then Tanya came and met us and said that she was to give us a tour of the institute. I think that took about 5 minutes because it is SO SMALL! Then she showed us possible classes we could take. Then the lady who gave us the test, whose name I forget printed off all of the possible classes. IT was like 15 pieces of paper to sift through. She told us to go to the classes that interested us this week and then on Friday tell her which 4 we wanted and if we needed more time we could just tell her so. It looks like I will be having these classes only on Tuesday, Thursday from 10:40-14:10. I am still not set on which classes because there are multiple classes in that block that I like. And once we figure these out, they will schedule our Russian for foreigners classes around that. I still don’t know what level I am at. When we left the institute we headed to my place for tea (Paige and I). I don’t know if it was appropriate for me to do that, but it was just another foreigner and I decided to test that line. Then we exchanged some of Paige’s money and I ran to an atm. Then we went to Nevsky Prospect. It is like the Broadway or Times Square of st. pete. Since paige has never been here I really wanted her to see it. Then we went to a bookstore and I bought some cards and the Little Prince in Russian. Caroline has been wanting me to read it and since it was originally in French, whatever I read will be a translation and this will be good practice for me.
Then we went to Paige’s Apt. She has a cute and needy but beautiful gray cat. I want it. Then I came home and ate some lazy goloptsi (I dunno how to spell that). I was incredibly beat, but felt refreshed after the food and stayed up until 12:15 or so talking to Nonna and Elena Borisonova. We talked about everything. We talked about food, music, art, religion, etc. I showed them the little art book I brought and showed them some pictures of my other works. Haha. They were so cute they wanted to see more, but I don’t have pictures of my other works. I talked about the ministry thing we had at Kraettli and about the last night the girls and I spent together when we sang hymns, had communion and washed each other’s feet. They kinda glowed when I told them about that, and so am like 90% sure they have got the Holy Spirit in them. They are some form of Orthodox and cross the door every time they leave the house, cross the food before they eat, and there is a cross drawn on the wall in every room of the apartment. I went to bed and woke up early the next morning, ate some kasha and met Paige at the Metro before going to the institute.
We went to one lesson. IT was painful. I don’t think the teacher appreciated our presence and seemed to all but tell us so when class ended. I understood a lot of what she was saying in class but I had to write it down in English because I know I can’t write that fast in Russian and in the course of translating and writing I would forget the last few words she had said, so my notes had little blanks every sentence or so. Paige didn’t understand much of anything I think, and we wrote a few notes during class. Then we were supposed to meet Tanya to she could show us placed to buy things. She had bought us a map, which was SO sweet. She was like 30 minutes late which means we missed the 2 other classes we wanted to go to…  but she showed us where to buy a few things and how to but money on my cell phone, etc. She is really nice. REALLY. So far the only person I have really talked to in English is Paige. Every now and then we talk in Russian, but we pretty much talk to each other in English. This is kinda disappointing to me, but it is just the beginning and she has never been this flooded with Russian before to it is WAY understandable. We then went to my place and watch a Russian movie “Operation E” (I guess that is how you would translate it?). Then she went home and I ate. Elena Borisonova had a music practice at the apt, so I got to hear piano, guitar, and saxophone and her voice scatting for like 2-4 hours. It was most pleasant. Elena Borisonova lent me the movie The Master and Margarita. It is interesting. It is a miniseries so it is like 8 hours long and I only have 2 hours left. I have read the book in translation. Will someone who loves the book PLEASE email me about it (deah@ou.edu) because I may not get the richness of it. I keep getting stuck on the heresy of it and its intense focus on evil, which makes me kinda disgusted by it. Don’t get me wrong, when I read it I was totally getting into the action and didn’t wanna put it down, and I particularly love Behemoth and the chaos they all create, but what is the point? Why is Jesus not Christ? Why the crap does the focus have be on Evil. Why is the Evil so petty when I can tell you from experience demons I’ve run in with aren’t trying to create mischief but trying to steal, kill, enslave, and destroy. Also, I LOVE BULGOKOV. The Heart of a Dog is SO good and the reason I read Master and Margarita. I also read a little WWZ last night 
Today I slept in until 11:30 and last night I stayed up until 2:30. FELT SO GOOD. Feels good to stay up and feels good to sleep in and feels good to get 9 hours in. So far today I have showered, eaten, and written this. I will go to Rehab today, Lord willing.
P.S. This would be a bad building to be in if there were a Zombie attack I think… if it was a minor infestation and the police were actually doing something about it it would be great, but like when does that ever happen? For an all out war, it would be a death trap.

Okay. I’m back from my excursion. I left way early and went to the metro station I’ve only been to once before and went a different way than I went the first time. This way was definitely faster and this Metro is definitely the closest one to my apartment. Yea! It is on a nice busy corner that has a McDonalds, a Pizza Hut and a KFC. I think I shall call it the American Hub. I was shaking I was so hungry so I went to McyD’s (I went into KFC first but got too nervous so tried for something with more anglo names). It was a disaster because the line was long and I got way nervous and butchered everything. They had to get a girl who spoke English. Oh well, here’s to my first American meal this year. OH! And I saw my fist black man (there are like no black people in Russia)! I was really excited. I really wanted to go talk to him because he was probably a foreinger like me and his presence in McyD’s seemed to double that possibility in my mind… but I didn’t. I just went down the metro and headed to Rehab. The wagon wasn’t completely full- there was even a seat left open and I wasn’t far from it so I started making for it but a guy got there before so I just grabbed the bar near by… BUT THEN he realized I had been going for it and got up and told me to sit down! WHAT A GENTLEMAN! I was not expecting that in St. Pete- especially on the Metro. I walked to the Rehab office and it is near Ozerki Metro, and for those who don’ know Ozerki means Lakes. So it is right by a lake and WAY pretty.  When I go there some old man saw me walking aimlessly (seems to be becoming my hobby) and asked me what I needed and I asked for Volodya or Valera and we went to a locked door and then he yelled at some other door and 2 guys came out and unlocked it and talked to me. They were really nice. I stayed there like 4 hours. It was awesome. The first hour and a half or so I understood everything they were saying. It was awesome, and when they asked me how my Russian was I said I understand but it is just hard for me to speak. But after this honeymoon period I guess my brain got tired and I understood less and less and less. It was sad and painful. I go back tomorrow after my classes. I am SOOO tired so I am going to bed. Peace players.
P.S. I take back what I said about this building being bad for Zombies. Today I noticed a pull down ladder to the roof - A definite plus. I think if this building was infiltrated it would be SO hard to get out, but if they were on the street trying to get to us I think we could destroy the first layer of stairs and make this building defensible. And if we still had electricity we wouldn’t even have to use a ladder to get down, we could just used the elevator (when any door on the elevator is open it won’t operate.. plus Zombies would be was too dumb to use it anyways).

Above are pics of my room.

HERE

2009-02-02T05:15:00.000-06:00

I am in russia. All is well. I don't have internet at home. I am going to have to start writing blogs at home and downloading them when I go to the institute. plenty to say, no time t say it. I LOVE YOU GUYS!! BYE!!!

Last moments in Latvia

2009-01-31T04:53:00.000-06:00

Disko was fun last night. We looked cute and we danced a long time :D We went with Inga and her boyfriend showed up and his friend and his woman. And then a random guy at the disko came and introduced himself to the fellas and danced in our little circle (when we go at a group we typically dance in a circular pattern, but with variation i.e. couples pairign up or the ladies cluming together etc.). so yes. He was a frickin' soldier ( not in the literal since...). I figured he was lookin' for a woman and since we were in a group with guys he could infiltrate our group casually and it was clear two of us were manless for the evening and so he could slowly make a move on whoever seemed less guarded. that is how I saw it.... Ah, my strange, probably unhealthy view of the dating scene. Veronika later told me he had his eye on me all night... I dunno maybe. Anyways. would approach our group like 40 times or more. When slow dancing occured Oleg, Inga's boyfriend, grabbed Veronika and starting dancing with her like th efunny goof he is and guy-who-told-me-his-name-but-I-did-not-hear-it (GWTMHNBIDNHI for shortish) swooped in and asked me to dance. I said no, but the soldier that he is he stood there and asked like 4 times until I said yes. So we danced for like maybe 20 seconds and the song stopped. He said something in a dissapointing tone and stayed by me in the circle for a while and then left telling be bye and touching my stomach as he left. everytime he came back he stood by me in the circle, usually between me and Veronika, which was a good strategic move because like 60% of the time I was dancing I had eyecontact with her... partially to avoid my eyes absent mindedly falling on him and giving him hope. When Veronika and I sat down she asked me abotu him and said he'd been lookign at me all night and she seemed geniunely dissapointed that I hadn't noticed. about thay time he came and sait by us but I told her that it wasn't like he could hear our convo anyways so we continued. To be honest I was in this strange defensive mode out of habit. I am used to creepers tryign to dance with me. This guy seemed normal, but hey this is protocol. plus it was my last night in D-pils. We went out to have fun together, not to dance with boys we'd never see again in our lives. anyways she forgot his name too. He sat by me for quite soem time, but I never made eycontact withthe poor guy and after like 3 hours of tactfully pursuing me he gave up... right when I was about to give in too, so it is a good thing for me he gave up. anither thing is my Russian sucks, and it was crazy loud so add that in the equation and there was no chance a conversation was going anywhere. poor GWTMHNBIDNHI... he never had a chance, and through no fault of his own at that.
Oh, before we got to the club, we drank a bottle of this AMAZING homemade liquor mom makes and it was so Russiany. 3 lovely ladies on a frozen park bench in the middle of soviet style apartment everything covered in snow dirnking homemade liqour in some plastic cups we'd bought as a grocery store before we went clubbin. :) That was all the alchohol I had that night and just went fro watter from there on out, so yeah Jesus for moderation!

Anyways, I;ve got like.... 6 hours in 30 minutes in Latvia... so I better strt packin'. I'll see you playas on the flip side.

Last Few Days in Latvia

2009-01-30T10:19:00.000-06:00

I dunno how long this note is gonna be and expect plentiful typos because I don't plan on editting. sorry I haven't been posting. But ont he up side I have talked to my mommy almost every day this week and my papi pretty darn frequently too... I suppose I just considered that my outside world communication time and called it a day. yesterday I went to my old school and saw alot of my old teachers and the director (like the principal, who was also my Russian teacher when I was there). And I met Annlise there. Annlise was in Latvia when I was under the same program as me at theh same school, only she stayed all year instead of only half like me. She is french Belgium, and has made it back to Latvia 3 or 4 times since she studied there (DANG EUROPEANS!!!! it sucks that they can all go back for like 60 dollars, where as is costs me 1200.... or more). At the school they introduced us to the German student studying there now. and after about 2 or more hours at the school (probably more close to 3) I asked if he wanted to walk around with us an dhe said yes. So the 3 of us went to city center cafe and Annlise and I shared a Margerita pizza, and we each got the hot chocolate and water. He invited his belgium friend who is also studying here. HE was may amazed that we spoke so well, and his russian seemed really rudimentary.... although the fact that he thought I was good at Russian is a dead give-away that he may not now just how badly I am speaking. I had told Veronika that I would eat Kebabs with her and she called me just as we got the Pizza and asked if I still wanted to.. OF COURSE. so she met us at the cafe and I said goodbye to the kiddos and Veronika and I walked to Kebabs and ate more deliciousness. yum...

Today Veronika and I am Mama woke up early and went to gather supplies primarily for Veronika's departure for Riga, and a few things for my departure too. I had gotten my picture taken, but the picture was glossy and I needed matted pictures.... grrr. why are th eRussian authorities such sticklers??? does it really matter I ask? We also got me 1000 RUBLES. haha I am a thousandaire.... ah yes... It will be weird getting used to Rubles. I am already so used to Lats, it will suck to have to make another shift.

I have been reading World War Z like a fiend. Man I love it. Man I love zombie stuff. *sigh of bliss* A few nights in which I couldn't sleep I snuck out of the bedroom with my book and read alone in the Kitchen as the only person on that half of the house and the only one awake. I know I should stop when I think I hear things outside.... I try to stop around then, but it doesn't always happen. I but what sucks is that I think when I read stuff in English is screws with my Russian. Yeah, after this and Alcoholic Empire (which I think I am gonna read little by little) I think I am gonna have to really cut back on readign any Englishg except for like th eBible and other nessecities.

So, I go to Russia tommorrow. WHOA. I am not ready to write that sentence. nope. Not ready at all. Like every 2-5 minutes that I am with Baushka she says "and you leave tomorrow." And I chide her and tell her she doesn't need to say that. It sucks that I am leaving. It sucks alot. But it is so amazign I am going to Russia. So inconcievably wonderful.

haha. if it makes you guys feel better I can tell you that I blog more frequently than I bucket... ah hygeine, how irrelevant you are to me... how I hope I don't keep this up in Russia. The good news is they are gonna banya before I leave tomorrow so I will be as close to squeeky clean as I can get under these circumstances. and I washed today, so I'll be double clean.

Tonight Veronika and I are going to the disko. yea! Be in prayer. Gettign anxious. Oh, they are going to pick me up at the train station! hooray!! I am supposed to go to a "social" church associated with the rehab on sunday at 1800. I am kinda nervous. what if I have an off day and my Russian sucks and they evaluate me by that? I knw that God's got it, but the thoughts kee coming. I am also concerned a bit because it gets dark early and I won't knwo the city at all and feel shady abotu walking around alone at night. But it is a church, so maybe they'll walk me home... or I dunno, God's got it. SO many creeping anxieties... so many thought to refute or resort to repressing.. I'm gonna go read the Bible. peace playas.

Another near fainting Spell.

2009-01-25T15:48:00.001-06:00

Today at Church, when the service was almost done and we were all kneeling, I again felt very warm. So, I unzipped my coat a little bit. Then I took off my scarf, and then I was still sweltering. It was so sudden. And in fact at the time I think I was thanking God for healing me because my sinuses and throat again feel normal. Then, I could feel myself grow pale and my eyesight became blotchy. I looked at Veronika and told her in Russian that I felt very hot… as if I might faint. So She asked if I wanted to go outside and I said yes. We left the church and I said I needed to lay down in the car. She guided me there. I am fairly confident that I looked drunk… at any rate, we made it to the car, she got it unlocked and I lay down there in the back seat. She waited around a bit and then went back into the church once I assured her that all was well. No sooner did she leave that she came back because the service was over. Yupp. Strange things are afoot within this tent of mine (for those of you who don’t know… that is frequently what I call my body, particularly when it is reminding me of how temporal it is). We have been playing with some ideas. Mama has thrown out the hypothesis that perhaps my body is reacting to all the pills I used to take the last time I was here… I find this hypothesis unlikely… but possible. I wondered if perhaps I am dehydrated…. Veronika find that unlikely because I do drink quite a lot of chai…. Mama has considered that perhaps it is just because I have been sick, and indeed I did have some sinus issues and those are known to cause light-headedness. I comically offered the possibilitiy that I have become narcoleptic and not so comically mentioned that perhaps I have developed diabetes. But in short, Veronika and the whole family was quite concerned. Veronika is concerned about what my happen if I go out on my own somewhere and have a “fainting spell.” I am not so concerned. I can handle crap situations pretty well, and God always enjoys helping me. Perhaps it is nothing to be worried about. Since I was fairly young I have experienced light-headedness which I attributed to low blood pressure, and am swift to lay down and take care of business. Were it not for the fact that I had in fact fainted a few months earlier I would have kept kneeling and assumed it would pass, as I have occasionally done in the past. Veronika would like me to get it check out as soon as I get to St. Pete and see what their Student health program is like, and Mama suggested I get a blood analysis.
But enough about that.
I am still sleeping loads. As I said I feel better. I prayed very specifically for healing yester and I fully believe the Lord answered my, and all of your prayers in one beautiful and swift moment and since then it has been getting better rapidly.
I am working on reading Alcoholic Empire it is about Imperial Russia and its relationship to Alcoholism. It is quite interesting, but I haven’t been able to maintain an attention span. :( So, I did a lot of stumbling upon today  and I ate 3 sirki! Yea!!!
Yesterday the Lord was awesome (as per usual), and really knocked down my giant of pride by using Breaking Free as His refining tool. I feel very empowered by the Lord in this area and know I must constantly be on my guard, but I no longer feel like it will inevitably rule my life for all eternity. Today Great Aunt Vera went to church with us, and my other Aunt is over too. I discussed with them the differences between “Baptists” and Catholics. From personal experience and from what I have heard from my sources in Russia, there seems to be this strange stigma against Baptists and in fact all Protestants who are often lumped into the category of “Baptist.” Yeah. I have heard things like they worship the moon, and my friends from St. Pete heard they offer blood sacrifices, but whatever rumor you hear, you may be sure we are a cult and a nasty one at that. So for the purpose of this conversation I strongly stressed the similarities between Catholicism and Protestantism. The main differences I outlined were that we don’t pray to the saints and that our pastors can marry.
Actually, I don’t think I told you guys… NO, I didn’t. A couple of days ago Babushka and I had a lengthy religious discussion. We discussed what the priest said last Sunday about praying that we would only have one faith. And so it got us on the topic of the differences between Catholics and Protestants. Actually, it brought us to the topic of why I am not Catholic. She took the sermon as meaning that everyone will be Catholic soon if all goes well, which might have been how it was presented, how should I know? So, I told he that I don’t believe it is right to pray to saint, and that I only pray to God and Jesus. She said I should pray to Mary, and I said that doesn’t make since because she was just a person, a person blessed by God, and a person who knew Jesus, but just a person. She said she was mother to Jesus, I said yes… and no. Yes she was mother to Jesus, but he existed before she did and I quoted John as best I could in Russian “in the beginning was word…” etc. so, she of course agreed to that and then I said, that I know God loves her, but he also loves me, so he will listen to me just as much as he did her, so I don’t need to pray to her when I can just pray to God. She tried a few times to explain why I should pray to her, but she never seemed to say much more than just that I should. So I said that if I don’t understand, and I don’t believe it is good, how can I pray to her? And she agreed. Then I said that I am also not catholic because eI don’t think the Pope is always right and that he too is just a person. She still said that everyone needs to become catholic, but we couldn’t resolve how people like me could become catholic if we don’t believe in the Pope, or in Praying to Mary. She said he Catholic church is the first Church and that we all came from it (thus we should go back to it). I tried to take us a step back. I ran and got my Bible. Then I started at this distant point, saying that Judaism was the first true religion and that Jesus was a Jew. She of course agreed. Then I said that the foundation of the Catholic Church was after the Bible was written, and that we should all try to be like the Bible. I made it clear to her that I didn’t think Baptists completely got it right, and that I didn’t think Catholics completely got it right, but I also don’t think either of them got it all wrong. Then I said that all we know about the first Church, is what is in the Bible and that is what we should all try to be like. I then read (rather slowly and with some help from Babushka) Acts 5:32-35 to her and said that is what we know of the first church. And I said that what is written there cannot be said of her church (fully), and cannot be said of my church (fully) either. And that this is one way we know we are not right. She seemed interested in this notion and it gave her pause. But the conversation ended with me joyously proclaiming (whether in the Spirit or not… but I certainly hope so) that since then we have one God, and One Bible, we also have one Faith. That if Baptist love Catholic and Catholics love Baptists and we know we have one God, then we truly will be one. And that we already did what the Priest has told us to pray for. Glory to God!
This made babushka smile, but probably not for the same reasons I was smiling and the conversation ending with Babushka telling me I will become Catholic…. Maybe I’ll marry a catholic man she said.
Anyways, so based on these two conversations (the one with Babushka and the one with Veronika that I wrote about in a different blog), we had this third conversation with my aunt, Babushka, Veronika and me in which my aunt asked what baptists (thus all protestants remember) believe. So I only mentioned a few points: we don’t pray to the saints and that our pastors can marry. Then I again mentioned we have the same Bible and the same God. My aunt told me that we have a different Bible, but both Veronika and Babushka backed me saying that they had seen my Bible and it was the same as theirs. From there the conversation wandered all over the place including whether Cherith’s was in a Church, and many other strange rabbit holes. (btw Cher and Ferg when Veronika and Lyuda saw your wedding pictures they were amazed and said it was just like the movies :D I thought that was cute!)
About these theological discussions: I realize I am probably less educated than most of you reading this blog on the matters of theology. If I have said something you feel if fundamentally wrong, please tell me in love and show the scripture to help me understand. Despite all of the time the Lord has given me to prepare for the ministry He informed me that He has planned for me, so very long ago (wow… was I really called to the ministry 7 or more years ago????), I have squandered a lot of time that I could have spent in the Word and in preparation. I also am stubborn and no the brightest crayon in the box. In short my style lends towards more of a fly by the seat of your pants type ministry… which is EXTREMELY UNFORTUNATE. I do spend time in the Word daily (although I occasionally let a day go… once a month or two ): ). But I tend to devote little to no time to specific theological study, and tend to let such things just come up whether in RUF, Bible study, Church, Bible readings, of conversations and dig into the scripture and theology of it as needed or as is interesting. In short, I probably say stupid things, correct me if you can, pray for the hearts of those who talk to me, pray for wisdom for me, and pray that I am led by the Spirit when I speak, and shut my mouth when I ought (a chronic problem for me). I will try to be diligent to pray the same. 
So yes…. I have little more to say for now, sorry that this blog post wasn’t organized… I was going to say very well, but I actually gave no thought to the organization of it so I should say at all. But I would like to leave you with a wonderful prayer the Lord blessed me with Yesterday also from the Valley of Vision:
“Morning”
COMPASSIONATE LORD,
Thy mercies have brought me to the dawn of another day,
Vain will be its gift unless I grow in grace,
increase in knowledge,
ripen for spiritual harvest.
Let me this day know thee as thou art,
love the supremely,
serve the wholly,
admire thee fully.
Through grace let my will respond to thee,
Knowing that power to obey is not in me, but
that thy free love alone enables me to serve thee.
Here then is my empty heart,
overflow it with thy choicest gifts;
Here is my blind understanding,
chase away its mists of ignorance.
O ever watchful Shepherd,
lead, guide, tend me this day;
Without thy restraining rod I err and stray;
Hedge up my path lest I wander into unwholesome pleasure,
and drink its poisonous streams;
Direct my feet that I be not entangled in Satan’s secret snares,
nor fall into his hidden traps.
Defend me from assailing foes,
from evil circumstances,
from myself.
My adversaries are part and parcel of my nature;
They cling to me as my very skin;
I cannot escape their contact.
In my rising up and sitting down they barnacle me;
They entice with constant baits;
My enemy is within the citadel;
Come with almighty power and cast him out, pierce him to death,
and abolish in me every particle of carnal life this day.

I was blessed to pray it again as I wrote it and I hope and pray it blesses and enriches you too!
Plus I didn’t know barnacle could be a verb, and that is pretty cool.

some things and kebab

2009-01-23T15:10:00.000-06:00

I don’t seem to be the best at updating with any regularity. Things I have achieved (praise the Lord who enabled me): finish the remaining testimony translations for the narcostop.org website (feel free to check it out. The remaining 2 translations are not yet posted. It will start out in Russian to click the en by the UK flag), and Finish Hammer, the Armand Hammer Autobiography. :) Both of these were done by Tuesday. I honestly don’t know how that all got done, so all I can do is praise God for it. But, as I was finishing it Veronika asked me, “And what will you do tomorrow?” And I rattled of some stuff, but since then I haven’t really done any of it. I have been sick. Not too terrible sick, but just sick enough to be slightly cranky, apathetic and lethargic. Mama has been supplying Veronika and I with plenty of cures, pills, and potions. The worst and best of which is a dark brown bottle filled with a mixture of vodka and ground honeycomb. I cannot describe how badly it burns nor how awful it tastes. But it seems to coat my throat (and mouth, lips, or hands if I am not careful) with this layer of waxy vodka which no doubt protects it from the elements, while curing it, however vodka cures it. It really is surprisingly effective.
Yesterday Vitalik and I went into town and bought a wireless router and ate at Kebabs (my favorite restaurant in town). It was way fun. We met up with one of his friends after taking the маршрут to town. And the three of use together went to some shops until we found a wireless router and I bought it. Then we said thanks and good bye to his Friend and Vitalik and I proceeded to go to Kebabs and eat our fill. I froze up when trying to order so he spoke for me. And then I bought it (I really wanted to treat him to something and we eat out SO infrequently here I decided this was a good way, Veronika and I hope to do the same thing next week when she is not so busy and her exams are over). Vitalik told me that the ladies working behind the counter (who are always young and attractive because I’ve heard tell that the owner is a perv) think that Vitalik is no good because I bought everything. And for this reason, I assume, when I offered to buy him some gum on the way home he told me what kind to get but wouldn’t go into the store with me to get it. This is the first time in my recollection that Vitalik has ever been seen in public with me with the sole exception of my own birthday party (I think the reason for this is twofold a) guys and girls don’t seem to hang out one on one together unless they are dating here and b) I am his older sister and it is assumed that I, like Veronika, wouldn’t be interested in hanging out with him and his “little” friends). Afterward Vitalik installed it himself and we now have wifi (thanks to Mami and Papi Rice).  haha. On the bus ride there and back Vitalik kept making little farting sounds with his mouth with the intention of blaming me for it, but I blamed him for it first and made kind of a big deal about the “terrible smell,” which he got a huge kick out of. Ah, in the 2 years I have been gone it is nice to know that neither of us have matured :) .
Today, to fight my illness, I didn’t set an alarm so I slept until 12. Then Veronika came home and we ate and then watched Cruel Intentions which Vitalik like LOVES, but I pretty well hated. When I told Vitalik tonight that I had watched it and didn’t like it he got kinda huffy, but since I do the same thing when people don’t like the movies I love I certainly can’t blame him. By the end of the movie Veronika was asleep, so I laid down and tried to sleep to, I am not sure whether I slept or not, but I peacefully rested until like 530, ate again, and then laid around some more. Yeah, today wasn’t so productive. Mama and Veronika sell Avon to Veronika and I brought some Avon stuff over to our Aunt and then went to go pick Mama up from work at in Kalkuna. Before getting in the care I officially slipped and fell on the ice, my first and doubtfully my last time for this trip. Since the roads by our house are dirt roads is gets CRAZY slick here. Heck, it even get crazy slick on the asphalt. Yesterday I had to hold onto Vitalik’s arm on the way home from the bus stop yesterday :)to stabilize myself. So on these crazy slick Roads on the way to pick up Mama, Veronika and I saw a large black object that looked like a dumpster in the middle of our side of the road and there was a car coming from the opposite direction. We were approaching it fast and Veronika skillfully brought us to a stop on the ice about 2 feet away from the object. What we saw was a drunk man, kneeling down in the middle of the road with his back turned to the oncoming traffic. He was wearing a black coat, so we barely saw him in time. That was interesting. I told Veronika she had done a good job averting that crisis and we agreed that that was a horrendous situation and she said in Russian of course “Well, what can I do if he doesn’t want to live?” and we carried on our way with each of our hearts beating a little faster.
A couple of days ago Jesus and I when on a 2.5 mile walk around the neighborhood. IT was fun and I saw some weird things including a horse and a man with a rifle slung over his arm, which if you didn’t know guns are about as legal here as they are in Britain. I got a picture of the horse, but I opted against taking a picture of the rifle man. I am afraid I wasn’t very attentive to my walking partner and I don’t remember anything He said or whether He was talking at all, but He is a pretty patient one and hopefully I’ll learn how to listen with some help from Him. I went on the walk partially because Papa, Mama, and Babushka have been recommending I take one for quite some time now since I just sit at home all of the time. Well, they often recommend me take a walk, but sometimes warn me that I could more easily go ice skating on the road (which is basically the local version of “you could fry an egg on the pavement”). I took the walk before I was really feeling sick on a day that wasn’t very slippery, so it was most pleasant.
Love you kids, I’ll try to work on Regularity, but it never has been one of my strengths. :)

Just because I am posting quickly now, does not mean you don't have to comment of yesterday's blog!

2009-01-18T10:58:00.000-06:00

Sunday
Well, Veronika is sick, the poor dear. She has a big exam tomorrow too. Her throat hurts and she has a headache. She has been needing to do a lot of studying but she keeps taking “15 minute naps” that end up being more like 2 hour naps (or 8 hour mini comas if you will). She and I just downed some Airborne. I am not sick yet but since I live and sleep with her I guess I better be on guard. Today at church a little girl read the scripture about how Samuel was called by the Lord as a young boy. I love that verse! And the priest said that today the church is praying that everyone would believe one faith, instead of all of the different denominations and sects being scattered and disagreeing so much. And he talked about how Martin Luther was the first to translate the Bible into something the commoners could understand. I didn’t understand all he said, since it was of course in Russian and I am after all a foreigner, but it was strange. I very much wanted to be in on my guard about the whole ordeal and had to pray a lot for humility. I couldn’t agree more that it would be AMAZING if we could all agree on this TRUTH of who Christ is and how we need Him (which we essentially do all agree upon). I am also surprised he spoke rather positively about Martin Luther. He of course spoke against the Reformation in that it destroyed the unity of the Church, but I totally agree that that was a TERRIBLE aspect of the reformation. But none the less I was expecting him to say something harsh or untrue about Protestantism, and since I didn’t exactly understand all of the nuances of his speech, I to this moment don’t really know if he did. But, oh well, it is not like I could do anything about it if he did. 
It is interesting that this was the primary topic of discussion because yesterday Veronika and I were talking about this very thing. She asked me what is the difference between Catholics, Baptists, Methodists…. I took a long pause, and she continued with saying, “we all believe in the same Bible don’t we? We believe in the same Christ?”
“Yes. There are really only little differences: We don’t have a Pope,” I said (all of this was in Russian).
“Is that all?” she said.
“No, We don’t pray to the saints, just to God and Jesus. and are churches aren’t pretty, so that…”
“I know, we have people like that here too.”
“And I can’t take communion at a Catholic church, because I am not catholic, but you could take it at my church… um…”
“And you do have communion too?”
“Yes.”
“With what?”
“Well, with bread and either wine or grape juice depending on the Church. Oh and we believe you have to invite Jesus to live in your heart (although I didn’t say this, but I think that is a sort of bull in a way. Nowhere in the Bible does it use that terminology, and I understand why we use it, but that isn’t really the clincher of salvation). Oh and Baptists don’t baptize babies. You have to believe first before you can be baptized. And we baptize… uh… maybe in a River… and like this (I acted it out because I don’t know the Russian word for submerged)… all. Oh, and when we pray it is like we are just talking to God, we don’t really read our prayers, but if you want to you can too (and I told her about my Valley of Vision book).”
That was really as far as we got because we were having Chai at the time and Vitalik came home and was singing and listening to music, and the last part of the convo was talked over him, but it trailed off eventually. But she and I agreed it was stupid that some Baptists abhor Catholics and vice versa and when I said I’d go to any church that is trying to believe the truth and Love God whether Baptist or Catholic or Orthodox, and that I disagreed and agreed with everyone an d felt that what was most important was reading the Bible and seeking the truth on my own and then learning from what God told others, she whole heartedly agreed. Then she asked me if I was Baptist because my parents are Baptist I said sort of, except now I am Presbyterian, which is different, but kinda like Baptist. One thing I thought that was really cool was when I was talking about how I don’t think I will ever find a church that believes everything I do, when I said Catholics are wrong and Baptist are wrong, Veronika whole-heartedly agreed. This made my heart happy. I dunno why, I guess just because people tend to get in a lot of trouble when they take the spiritual teaching someone tells them as absolute truth without weighing them.
Oh, and because Veronika is sick I asked if I could pray for her healing. I had been praying about whether I should do it the whole time we were at church and felt confirmation about it. So After church I asked if I could and she said I could so I laid hands upon her and prayed. Her head and throat still hurts as of now, but I have faith he will answer that prayer still today, and would ask you all to pray for the same. 
Yup. That is life here at the Ranch. There is like half a foot of snow on the ground and it was so much fun to walk in today, especially at the cemetery where nobody shovels or sweeps it away. I think I might start going for daily walks in the delightful snow, and maybe God and I shall make them prayer walks. 
Keep your prayers up!!! I am feeling a lot closer to God than I have been, and I feel that a lot of that is your prayers, a lot of that is the prayers God has encouraged me to make, a lot of that is God’s word and Beth Moore’s Spirit-filled exegesis, and simple and undeserved Grace from the Lord. I hope all of it keeps up and even increases!!! 
Also I am less sure than I once was that the Church I went to when I was last in St. Pete is indisputably the one for me. It has nothing to do with the church itself. It has to do with providence and divine direction. You see I asked the Lord which church I should go to and I got the answer from something/one saying “you know,” and at the time I felt quite sure that meant this particular church. I specifically recall finding this to be an interesting answer from the Lord has never said that to me before. This, however, was during a time in which I was having an excessively difficult time with discernment. This voice passed the test in saying that is both worship and served the Lord, but I’ve been confronted with a sneak lately that says that but does not always offer good direction. This theologically befuddles me. The only thing I can figure is that it is the voice of my prideful self. This makes since because in general I do serve and worship the Lord Jesus Christ, I often am not proper in my discernment and at this particular time I was quite fully consumed with pride so it makes since that I would hear myself louder and more clearly than the Lord. Last night while praying about it I believe the peaceful and wise voice of the Lord came to me and say “You’ll see” to the same question. Form experience this sounds much more like the voice of the Lord. The Lord often says this to still my heart by assuring it of His presence, knowledge and caring, and at the same time calling me to rest in the Lord, and not worry about tomorrow. And the “You know” when analyzed under these circumstances sound all the more like pride, because naturally my prideful self would think that I know best. So I would thank you to pray for me further for discernment and that the Lord would destroy my pride, increase my prophetic gift and other gifts he would use for His glory, and mold me for His work and glory, live kenosis, and all of that stuff.  thank you!!! All prayers are more than welcome!
I love you all!!!!!!
I wrote this as a word doc and before I could post it, my aunt uncle and cousin came over and we had a birthday dinner for Vitalik in which we successfully ate a great deal of food and toasted Vitalik with a bottle of vodka and a bottle of wine. So much alcohol at every celebration, my poor little Baptist-raised self isn’t used to it. It was swell and I finally contributed to a conversation with my uncle (I have to warm up to people before I feel comfortable talking to them in Russian, but this time we were at my home instead of him and I saw him longer than I have on other occasions). I may be getting sick from Veronika, so in addition to my many toasts of wine I was to drink some vodka too. I only had a shot, and babushka wanted me to “vipitj” (to lazyto use Cyrillic) which as close as I can tell means get drunk or more literally “drink my fill” because that is their cure for the common cold and other mild illnesses. I am not kidding or exaggerating. Vodka is to Russians as Windex is to Greeks. ;)
I may have drank a little more than I would prefer, but I shall pray and see what God thinks about it.

Long time no... write

2009-01-17T12:11:00.000-06:00

Hello, beloved.

Sorry I haven't written in so long, I wish I had a crazy story to make up for it or explain my absence but I have neither. I have been doing a lot of sitting around. I last left the house on Monday to buy my train ticket, if my memory serves me correctly. Yup. since then I have been doing fairly "idle" activities. I've been reading Armand Hammer's autobiography and reading about a chapter a day on average. I am still attempting to complete the goal Penny gave me to read it before I live there. I am on page 380 out of 526. Only God knows if I'll read it all before I get there, but in the meantime it is a serious pastime. I have translated another testimony just today, by the grace of God. It was a testimony of a mother whose daughter got treatment for heroin and they both ended up accepting Christ. It was quite interesting to me, especially since the mother was a devout Atheist and Soviet-style communist before the whole debaucle her daughter got in. The trouble was the whole thing was ridiculously colloquial. I am quite possitive that this is a transcription of a speech she gave at a conference and it is rife with and's and but's at the beginning of sentences and little idioms. It was quite difficult for me to translate in a cohesive way. I left in a lot of the ands and what not because it is not my job to edit but to translate, but the whole thing was at times difficult to decipher.

I have also been watching excessive amounts of movies. I showed Veronika the Russian dubbed Garden State. She showed me a 3 hour Russian movie about a guy who had to get married in a week to get his granfather's inheritance, so I showed her the Russian dubbed The Bachelor. Then I showed Vitalik the Russian dubbed Fight Club. At first He didn't get it and said it was stupid but after we discussed it a while he seemed to think it was swell enough. I would like to add that Veronika thought Garden state was crazy weird and Vitalik's mind was perhaps half-blown by Fight club. I've only ever seen them watch movies with quite elementary depth so it has been an interesting experiment to test out some of my favs on them. After Fight Club Vitalik said it reminded him of 2 other movies because they too were "strange." He and I proceeded to watch those 2 movies which were: Meet Joe Black, and Vanilla Sky. They were of course in Russian. Yesterday Veronika and I (and at times vitalik) watched Veronika's 3 hour graduation video. then I showed Veronika fight club. I told her Vitalik didn't understand it so she was determined not to say the same, but she was less that engrossed and said it wasn't interesting.

In other news, Veronika, Mama, and Babushka have all done my little happy bootie shake. I do it increasing amounts here. I dunno if it is because I am happy all the time or if it is because I have been so astoundingly physically inactive, or a mixture. It is adorable when they do it. When Veronika did Mama informed her that she was doing it too slow, and that she needed to do it faster. Babushka does it more with her arms that anything because she says her back hurts. Mama only has done it once and that was today. It made me so very happy (they all did). She did it once and then wasn't sure of herself so she did it again in front of the mirror in the hall. :) I love my family!!!

A couple of days ago, I think it was Tuesday night there was a "violent protest" in Riga. I believe we just call those riots. Anyways, Babushka was scared to death that morning. She cried and was frantic. I tried to calm her down and tell her everything would be alright but she flipped out all the more saying "How will it be alright when there are people coming home from work and children..." I told her that OU already warned me about it (which they had the night before) and I figured that if Oklahoma knows about it, and Babushka in Daugavpils knows about it, then the people in Riga know about it and will stay clear of the protest, and the police know about it and can protect the people. she argued that it would be a war between the police and the protesters, but at least by then she had stopped crying. She did have Mama call my aunt so that her son in Riga would be aptly warned. The next day she informed me that 40 people were injured and that one boy lost an eye. "No one died," she said, "but it is still a nightmare." I think it reminded her of the revolutions of old.

She and I have talked about the war (WWII) and she was 5 she when the war was in Belarus. She said she doesn't remember much but she remembers the Nazis being in the streets and she remembers her mom trying the save the family Icons from the Nazi soldiers. she reminded me that the Germans believe too, they just don't beleve right(aka they are not catholic). She started saying Germans were bad and talked about the atrocities of the war and the concentration camps she had heard of. I reminded her that Germans aren't bad, the Nazis were bad. she protested for a second. but I reminded her that Stalin was bad and did terrible things but I don't go around saying that Russians are bad. she agreed saying that Hitler was very, very bad, which we could readily agree upon. She and I have all kinds of interesting conversations. :)

Mama has asked me today if I will start teaching her how to use the computer. Of course I agreed. Veronika went on and on about how hard it was going to be. Well, really Veronika asked for mama. What I am pretty sure happened is that Mama asked Nika to teach her and Nika didn't think she'd have time since she is taking her exams so she pawned it on me. Well, I am none the less glad for it. It will be hard I am sure due to the language barrier, but we'll make it.

I have been able to read the Bible daily the last few days, praise the Lord, and have continued in Breaking free. it is getting pretty hard core pretty quick, which is my kinda study. I am SOOOO RIFE with sin. wow. I am continuously amazed by it, and even more amazed by God's grace and patience. Seriously. and Pride in particular consumes so much of my being and my life. ah! to live out Kenosis!! LORD, HELP ME!!!

Okay, now for the Russian section of today's digest. I have been messaging back and forth with Nonna about 2 times a day, and she has friended me. They live in a building that is almost 100 years old and very beautiful. She says I'll like the apartment very much. They have a dog, a spaniel named Nora, which reminds me of Nick and Nora and makes me happy. It also makes me happy because I have learned in class that Russians often name their animals American or English names and this appears to be such a case. Mama is a lecturer at the Institute and teaches in the creative studio where students sing, dance, and act. There is free internet at the Institute. they have intternet at home, but I don't think I'll be able to use it because you have to pay for it, I think by the KB. yeah. that kinda sucks, I am not sure if skype talking will be so much available to me. I dunno how I may handle that. It I can't talk to home I may get quite homesick, but the Lord will take care of me, and take care of those back home who will miss me too. who knows, maybe something will work out. School starts the 2nd and I get there the 1st. Hello, welcome to our country, what classes would you like, now GO TO THEM. I dunno it is quite the turn around but at least I have been speaking Russian a lot here. I feel sorry for Paige who has never lived in a Russian speaking country and will get in the night of the 1st. That sucks.

Man, I love the banya. and сырки. :)

ALSOOOOOO! I have been trying to track down that church that I went to on my short term mission to st. pete. I face book messaged Joey who gave me 2 two-year-old email addresses and the names of the people they belonged to and wished me luck. i emailed them both, and search for them on face book and sent a message to one of them. One of them responded! He said he went on a trip to plant the church and dedicated 4 years of his life to it. he and his family are now in New York for a year off and then will go back to St. pete. He said a different couple is there now and gave me their email. He also said they have moved to a different and larger restaurant as their worship location and that it is at the same metro (but what restaurant or how to get there from the metro i dunno). He also said when he goes back they will be working on a community center and drug and alcohol abuse will be one of their top priorities so if I am still their they may contract my help. Unfortunately they are to be coming back in late summer and I am currently planning(ish) on leaving late summer, but who knows what the Lord actually has in store for me. He said he hadn't heard of the Good Samaritan program (the one I will be working with) but would be interested in learning about them when he comes back. I emailed the new couple and they haven't responded yet.

I also vkontakte friended a girl my friend Gary said was nice and would be my friend at Nevsky and she and I have messaged a bit too.

I LOVE YOU ALLL! I gladly receive prayer requests and love it when you pray for me!!!

I am having trouble with spiritual discernment and could use your prayer about it!!

God bless!!

Host family

2009-01-12T12:22:00.000-06:00

I know who my host family is and where they live. On Friday I emailed the institute and asked them if they knew yet, and what info they needed from me. My new family lives in a 3 room apartment less than a kilometer from the Institute. I won't even need to take the Metro there. And it seems I will have my own room. It is a Woman, Elena Borisovna, and her daughter, Nonna. Nonna is a student at Nevsky institute. I looked her up on vkontakte.ru which is the Russian facebook, and I send her a friend application and told her in Russian that I think I will be living with her this year, she responded in english :( and said that it is good to meet me an dI might live with her and asked which university I was going to attend. She didn't friend me... so I responded in Russian that I was attending Nevsky (which is the one her profile says she attends) and that the lady from Nevsky told me I was staying with her and that I am coming on the 1st. Well, I said it in more and better words. But by that time she was offline.
But that is exciting. I have an address, and a phone number and everything. Paige, the american gal who is also going, found out about her family today too. She is going to be living decently far away from me, like 7 kilometers. And my rehabe is like 14 kilometers away from where I live. But it is good that I live where I do, because Paige lives in the opposite direction of my Rehab. And the restaraunt in which the Church I visited 2 years ago Services were held is about half way between me and the rehab. But who knows if they still meet there. I am having a heck of a time finding someone who knows antyhing about that church. :( But I have been praying about it, and I do feel I need to pursue this church passionately, so that I shall do.
I've been on the web and google earth all day................ I should have been doing something more productive. :( I did work out a bit. I also got my train ticket. I also got my registration pics taken.
so, those are loads of m mind, but my pic might have needed to be non-glossy and they are glossy, so I dunno.....
...I hope I lose weight.
yeah. I need to go spend time in the word but I keep wanting Nonna to respond so I am like waiting for it... deah,deah,deah.

Sunday

2009-01-11T10:32:00.000-06:00

The day of rest. We went to church this morning, cooked some food and ate it. Great aunt Vera is staying with us in Babushka's room. I thought Vera lived in Belarus, but she doesn't she lives in D-pils. ...yeppp. not alot going down here, although I did get to do another thing of breaking free. :) and I downloaded a version of the bible to my computer so now, I don't hav eto have the internet to read the Bible, I just need my laptop. The version I downloaded is NET. I've never heard of it before but the ones I had heard of are copyrighted (except for KJV which I am not really in the mood for). So, it is bound to be better than nothing. I am excited about it.
A couple days ago this verse struck me:
"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Galatians 6:14

Of course the bosting in the cross struck me, but I have heard that so oft. I know I struggle terribly with pride, and that I am sure I boast in plenty of things other than the cross, Lord help me. But what particularly struck me was the description of the cross: "...through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Just as the Word of the Lord is a two edged sword, the cross of the Lord is double acting, but the end result is a separation of that which it made pure by the blood of the lamb, and that which is still covered in sin, but in a way crucifying both. Interesting Jesus, Holy Spirit, and Paul. Interesting.

And today I read this Awesome prayer from the Valley of Vision puritan prayer collection book:

The Valley of Vision

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see the in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.

AMEN! Is that not beautiful! Lord I love thee!!!!! And I love you all too!!! :)
God bless you today!

Swell

2009-01-10T16:37:00.000-06:00

Today was grand. I got to talk to my parents for the first time since I got here, and I watched a delightful zombie movie. What more could a girl ask for on a Saturday? Oh, Yeah, so since it is Saturday it is banya day, and I didn’t faint or get light-headed or anything. And I got to do the second day of Breaking Free. Woo hoo. And I listened to some rockin’ RUF music (I am actually doing that right now)!! J
SO yesterday Veronika and I went to a club at like 10 or something…. As we were leaving, this guy that is crazy about Nika who works with Papa was drinking with Papa in the garage and he called us. It kinda annoyed Nika, and a bit ruined the party mood. He called her a bunch, and then Papa called to, the next thing I know I see Papa and this guy (Sasha) in a taxi pulling up next to us. They were good and drunk and papa got out and made Sasha get out, and told Vera that Sasha loved her and Papa got back in the taxi and drove off. So we were stuck with a drunk guy who likes Nika (and btw has a girlfriend). So we go to the bank as planned, and he follows us, and I dunno, he and Vera talk about something. He said he’d walk her back to her home, and she said we were gonna continue our walk (she didn’t wanna tell him where we are going), and that he should find a ride. We left him when he was on the phone to someone (I couldn’t tell who). We walked off to catch the tram. I think we were supposed to walk the whole way, but my feet were hurting… I was wearing chunky socks and each of the knits were digging into me…… yeah. I hate socks…. But this particular problem was not merely the socks’ fault. So we go by tram, pass the White Swan (it is a penitentiary and inexplicably one of my favorite places EVER), and go to this club, that apperhently has a really bad rap because Nika told be to not tell anybody we were there. Yeah, it wasn’t open yet so we stalled a bit. Then we went to the bathroom because the coat check wasn’t open yet, and I took off my socks and put them in my coat pockets. Then we check our coats and got some nasty fruit-juice mix thing… ew…. It reminded me of a Black Russian… plus juice. Ew. I didn’t drink it all. Then we went upstairs and I got some chips and a strawberry daiquiri, and she got a Screwdriver… we were seriously the only people there, well upstairs there were some people… but not many. So we went downstairs and danced. We were the only people dancing for at least 30-45 minutes. Then some other girls danced… then the left. Eventually people started dancing. It was goodtimes. People didn’t really bother us. Every now and then a guy would attempt to drunkenly communicate with us and we typically wouldn’t understand…. One time I understood and Nika didn’t!! yea for lack of grammar skills helping me understand drunk people!!! Anywho we danced a lot. And MY FEET WERE KILLLLLLING ME. I was wearing my rocking awesome stiletto boots, but they have this seam in them at the ball of my feet which very effectively induced blisters. There at the end I couldn’t move my feet at all…..I just shifted my weight and moved my body. I finally told Vera and she got peeved that I didn’t tell her sooner, so we left via taxi. It was a swell night. We left about 2 or so, which it pretty early, but I could barely stand at that point. We came home, had some chai, and went to bed. J
We found out today that Sasha didn’t go home, but somehow wound up in Griva, which is our part of town, and dropped and broke his phone. Then some guys asked him for a cigarette, but he couldn’t abide because he doesn’t smoke, so they got pissed at him withholding and mugged him and beat him up. I dunno what happened then, but he told Vera this online so I guess he got home ok eventually…. I dunno how without any money…
Today Vitalik is celebrating his b-day. The celebration started about 5 and will end tomorrow morning…. Also Vitalik went clubbin’ last night at the hippest club in town legally for the first time, and went into the VIP room because his friends work there. Yeah, and he got home at 7am. That kid. He didn’t ever formally invite me to his party tonight but he explained to me that he thought I would be crazy bored because they were all just gonna get shwasted and also he said his friends are so young I would feel weird. But while he explained all of this to me he did it with the deepest sincerity and concern that I would be offended for some reason. Ah, to be 18 in D-pils…..
It is way weird that Vitalik is the same age I was when I was here last.
Okay kids, those of you who are praying for me, this is what is up with spiritually. I am struggling spiritually for a few rather silly reasons…. I am really, really happy here. I have no responsibilities, I just chill all day and speak Russian and spend time with my darling family and watch Russian movies and listen to Russian music, and the closest thing I have to work is knitting Babushka’s scarf or doing some light translation. Seriously? Is this a mini-taste of Deah’s heaven? And I SUUUUUCK at seeking God when all is well. I feel normal when things are stressful and crap. I know I NEED this time of rest and I thank God for it, but it is making me SO spiritually lazy. I am not constantly being reminded of my need for God, which usually is the case. I know it is not that I need Him less it is just that I am more blind to it. Also, I am pretty much never alone in a room, and if I am it is at some level weird, and someone typically comes in and asks me why. This is a dream come true for my co-dependent self, but a crap-load less than ideal for my spiritual life. I would certainly prefer solitude to be with the Lord, but I honestly don’t know how to get it…. Pray that I find solitude. I did get some today, but even then I had to be on the computer to access the Bible which made it not seem as much like solitude to me for some silly reason, but it was AMAZING to be alone with God. :D
So, yes, pray that I am able to use this time of Rest and Peace for the Glory of the Lord, That I am able, by the grace of God, to dig into his Word, That through the grace of God I would be able to swiftly defeat any spiritual attacks that Satan has been or will throw my way (cause he has been working a sneaking in seemingly unobtrusive ways including attacking my thought life with “little” lies). So, if you would be so kind to cover me in prayer I will ALWAYS appreciate it. Just, If you ever get the time.
Ok kids, I guess this is long enough!! I love you all!!! Peace out!!!

Chillaxment

2009-01-07T07:44:00.000-06:00

Everything has been pretty chill in the D-pils hood. I haven't been up to much. I've translated a couple more testamonies for the website, but Valery hasn't had time to post them. For those who might not know, the website I am speaking of it is the Website for the Drug Rehab Organization that I am gonna internship for (Lord willing). I've been very slowly translating for their website. They want to have a decent website in English, and then when I get a decent amount done in English they have some volunteers who will translate it from the English to Finnish and Swedish. Translating, especially stuff that is so colloquial as testimonies, is scary. But at leats I am doing somehting that might progress the kingdom, and it has the added bonus of helping my Russian.
Yesterday was Vitalik's b-day. So he was way happy all day. Since Monday both he and Vitalik have been going to school and university. That means that in the mornings it is only Me, Babushka and sometimes Mama if she worked the night shift. It doesn't matter much because with my jet lag my sleep cycle is Craycray. But if someday I start sleeping and waking up like a normal person, I want to start skyping home in the mornings a bit. It has been nice to occasionally use the Bible online when nobody is home so I can start Breaking Free. :)
Today is Russian Orthodox Christmas so Vera didn't go to school :) we both slept in til 12..... grrrr. our alarm was set for 9.
Back to yesterday. It was the Catholic holiday in which the 3 wisemen visit baby Jesus. So we went to church at noon, me Mama and Veronika(she came back from school just in time) Babushka went too, but she went earlier than we did. Mama had talked to the preist and so the service was also for Ivan, Vera and Vitalik's older brother who died when he was 20. After the Service we went to Ivan's grave as usual and lit candles and prayed. OIUr Aunt wen twith us this time. Then we came home, and shortly thereafter Vitalik came home. as I said he was crazy happy and playful. Mama made fried chicken and potatoes for us and we had non-alcoholic champagne. IT was quite delicious. Then Vitalik made me and him hot cocoa and we ate chocolate together. Mama and Vera needed the computer and Vitalik really wanted to play his game so he asked if he could use my computer and put his game on it and hook it up to the internet and play it, I said he could. By the way, Vitalik goes to a computer votech right now instead of a normal high school. He hooked my computer up and tried forever to get the game to work but it wouldn't..... what a shame. but now when Vera needs to to homework on the computer and I or Vitalik want on the computer, we hook my computer u to the internet and set my computer on a stool and sit sideways on the couch, and Vera can do her homework on the computer without internet. That is actually what I am doing right now. :) For dinner last night mama made "pizza."

Oh, and yes mom, my family here does get their nose poked.I poke Vitalik, Vera, and Babushka's noses pretty frequently, and of course dully thank them. Babushka gets a pick kick out of it and reciprocates. The last time I tried to poke Vitalik's nose we poked mine first and asked me what it meant. I told him it didn't mean anything I just think it is funny and he laughed at me. Babushka told my aunt that I poke her nose. Babushka was laughing pretty hard when she told my aunt and then babushka poked my nose and told me thank you. :) she is so cute. I love her!! She is laughing more often, and yetserday she told Vitalik he is a good boy, which is pretty rare. I guess it was his birthday....

You Learn Something New Every Day

2009-01-04T09:57:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I learned that I can faint. I always though myself incapable of fainting. I have experienced great amounts of paint and also low blood pressure and also some head injuries, but I've always been here. But yesterday, nyahuh. IT was actually quite simple too. It reminded me a great deal of a mini-adventure Christina and Nicole had a few years ago. So, yesterday was Saturday and thus banya day. For those of you who may not have been with me on my last adventure to Latvia, the banya is like a sauna and we have a little built in one in the house and we heat it up once a week. We go in there and wash up using soap and bucket and what not. Well this time Veronichka and I banyaed together. It was decently hot this time, and I stayed in there a decent amount of time. Anywho, when I got out I felt a little light-headed and my eyesight got a little blotchy. This didn't seem too strange to me. I remembered that last time I was in Latvia I occasionally got light headed after the banya and I would lay down and rest for a while.... well, I wasn't dressed when I noticed that i was light headed. and I didn't wanna expend the energy to dress when I was feeling so dang awful so I wrapped myself up in my towel, sat on the toilet lid for a while but things got worse to I started yelling "Mne zharka!" (I am hot) thogh no one answered me and put my head between my legs..... this is the last thing I remember. (Veronika had thought that I was talking to Babushka about the heating of the house.. or something. IT was strange that when I was in the banya I felt perfectly fine and only after felt crap so the thought that I was talking about post-banya duress didn't occur to her). So Veronika unassumingly leaves the banya to see sitting on the toilet lid and when she closes the door to the banya I "WHABAM" slam my face against the door, fall to the ground and am out cold. This was all very frightening to her and she freezes, not being to do much of anything out of fright and yells for Mama.Mama come and sees naked me sprawled strangely on the floor with some dirty clothes I had knocked over on my legs. She yells for Vera to get some cold water and pats it on my face while holding me up to a sitting position. This is when I come back into the picture. I become partially conscious to mama saying my name and putting cold water on my face. I, of course, am confused as to why she is in the bathroom in the first place, and extra confused as to why she is saying my name sent she is obviously holding me and knows I am here so I say "ja zdesj" ( I am here." This seems to calm Vera a bit and Mama basically points out that since I am responding Vera need not worry. After a while of being awkwardly held up like a mannequin on the dirty bathroom floor I become confused as to why there are clothes on me, how my legs got all the way over there, I remember I haven't put on my deodorant yet I think it very important to do so, and realise I need to pee. I here Vitalik coming and I flip out because of my awkward position and become keenly aware that the door is open. The girls shoo him away but babushka runs in, which I can live with. Mama is holding me up and all I wanna to in the whole world it lie my head on the doorpost but every time I try mama thinks I am going dead weight again and hold me upright. They are supposing what happened, it I am sick or if the black or white pills I am taking for my Latvian allergy may have caused this. I of course know I was just in the banya to long but tell them I will tell them what happened if they only let me lay down my head first (only instead of "galava" (sp?) I said "rod" in my state of confusion). So Vera asks if I wanna lie on the divan which sounds like an even better idea so I think "I want to go to there" and vera zips me up in an itty-bitty robe of hers and the all but carry me to our room. I tell them what happened and all is well. I feel better and what not and only have a few minor red spots on my face and a few sore joints. it is kinda funny because as far as my face is concerned I fell on my cheek bone, and just left of my left eye and the tip of my nose... I think the tip of my nose hurts the most, which sucks when I absent mindedly poke it as I so often do.

In other News today we went to church ( the catholic church that my family goes to) and I was quite disgusted with the grandiosity of the decor. I know it is such a minor think but I was so distracted from the Lord be seeing all the paintings and lights and candles. I was filled with disdain about such a small thing, so I kept my eyes closed most of the service to keep at least a bit focused. Today he read the beginning of John. IT was good to here, and since i have it nearly memorized I don't think too much was lost on me. We also sang Gloria En Excelsis Deo. which I love so much. After Church Vera drove me to town and I bought a brush, a much needed razor, and we got Vitalik's b-day present (his b-day is on Tuesday). We also went on a search for the old testament or the whole bible. When we finally found one it was in russian and not in church Slavonic though printed by the orthodox church which was awesome. Only... when I took it home I realized it wasn't the whole old testament, but just the first five books, the Books of Moses. Blin! Well, I am getting closer and closer to a complete Bible!!!! We also got our favorite Pringles, which are not to be found anywhere in the US much to my disdain!
Then when we got home we are bortsch, pig, and potatoes, and then Papa and Mama walked by. It was negative 14 degrees celsius and, it later warmed up to -7, and Papa wanted to skate on the lake. SO Mama and I went to watch. MAN IT WAS GORGEOUS today!!!!!! Papa hadn't gone skating in 20 years, and he's been smoking those 20 years. BUT HE WAS WAY GOOD. HE grew up near a bunch of lakes so I guess it makes sense. Yeppp..... I am picking back up Mere Christianity. I love it and hopefully I will stick with it this time. I have a bad habit of getting distracted. Anywho. I better skadoottle. I love you all!!! (Oh, I haven't been missing home to much because I dream every night that I am in America. The only think I can't seem to dream about it Tybalt... so I do miss him...A couple days ago I woke up and thought I was in Edmond In Cher's bed with her and was quite confused as to why her phone's alarm was a Russian song, and then remembers that she had my Russian song on her phone and she used it when she really wanted to wake up.. then I remembered we have new phones... then I remembered I was in Latvia.....) ok. that's all for now. I am impressed if you read it all.
*Vitalik wanted me to make it clear to you all that he didn't see anything. And I know he didn't. It was only for the sake of telling the story from my delirious point of veiw that I mentioned it. i thought he had at the time

С Новым Годом!!!!!!

2009-01-01T11:16:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year! Last night for New Year's we prepared our food and then got ready and then Ate here at home. Vitalik was out somewhere when we ate but we ate on the kitchen table which we moved into his room. We watched a Kareoke special program on the Russian channel 1, and Ate. Mama made some delicious liquor and we ate "salad" chicken, amazing potatoes, black bread and had pineapple, mandarins, bananas, cake, and chai. After we ate we got dress up, and then it was New Year's so we all drank champagne. Then Veronika and I went to the Centre and watch the fire work show. IT was all very pretty! then we met up with Inga and her boyfriend and Went to Inga's house where we talked, watched some more music on the telly and drank more champagne and had chocolate until 4 in the morning. Then we came home and I guess I slept until 4 pm. Holy crap I must be jet lagged. hopefully I will do better tomorrow. I haven't translated anything for the Rehab's website since I got here!!! :( I hope I to tomorrow. And I didn't run today either. I am excited to start BREAKING FREE by Beth Moore the bible study, but I didn't bring any thing but my bi-lingual bibles which are New testament and psalms and proverbs only and she works a lot with the old testament (my kind of woman!). Yeah, so we'll see what happens. I haven't gone into town yet during today. I need a brush and a razor and a full length bible. it I can find them. :) I would just use the interwebs for my bible but I know that a lot of fighting happens between my bro and sis over the computer and I use it enough as it is to talk to you kids, so I don't want to further complicate things. I am still a tad disoriented and I know I am not putting as much effort as I should in my relationship with Christ right now LORD HELP ME :)

The Long Road Home

2008-12-30T12:06:00.000-06:00

I am in Latvia with my darling host family of old. I love them!!! I was worried I wouldn't be able to get a hold of them because my phone can't get a signal, and when I tried to use my credit card to use a pay phone they said it didn't work.... good times. But I exchanged the money I had and as I exited customs there was Papa and Vitalik! I was so happy! It is funny, in Frankfurt I was anxious and concerned about how to get a hold of them, but once I saw Latvian land I didn't even care. I was happy and I felt like everything would be alright. Papa and Vitalik drove me and my obnoxious amount of bags home. We even stopped at a restaurant On the way home. Delicious pizza! Then I was full and contented and found myself drifting off to sleep frequently on the road home. them I got here I saw my beautiful Sestrichka, and Mama, and Babushka. They were all over joyed to see me and amazed at my amount of luggage. Babushka was particularly overjoyed that I am not married and rather disappointed that I have not yet been to Israel( ah babushka!). We had chai and could up a bit and I banyaed. It feels good to be clean after more than 24 hours either in an airport or airplane!!! THANK JESUS! My ankles aren't too swollen. I need to unpack. Everyone finds my amount of luggage excessive (and rightly so I guess). Everyone was also surprised at my new hair color and when babushka seemed particularly surprised Mama said something like "It might be as she needs. It may be the style." And smiled maternally. It is good to out of America again. and it is good to be with this wonderful family again. I love you all back home and I am sure I will write again shortly. Be in prayer for me!!

Pre-departure

2008-12-26T23:29:00.000-06:00

I got my visa today. PRAISE JESUS! I also got my grades. They were a lot better than I expected. I am excited and nervous. GOD has told 2 of my roommates that HE is anointing me for Russia. I find this exhilarating, frightening, and confusing. I cannot think of a woman in the Bible being anointed, and am constantly confused by what my role is as a woman, prophet, missionary, and human being and how these roles are supposed to mesh in some cohesive, beautiful, and effective manner. I suppose the LORD will reveal it all to me in time.